Monday, December 29, 2008

What does matter – 315.5

I said yesterday that the timeline does not really matter, but the fact that it may be delayed can matter in that one needs to be able to keep going for an indefinite time period. You can read about disasters in the news and feel like you need to repent, and that is a sensible response, but that would probably not be enough to keep you in a repentant state.

Dick Winwood was teaching us about motivation, and he gave three kinds. He used the example of taking his wife out to dinner, with motivation ranging from not wanting to get in trouble with his wife to wanting to do it because he cared about her.

· I have to do it (fear)
· I should do it (duty)
· I want to do it (love)

Why is charity the greatest of all? Certainly it is the trait that will bring us closest to God, and it sanctifies us, but I also believe that it may be the only thing that will sustain us through delays, and tribulations, and times of ease.

So let’s go back to that scenario of a catastrophic disaster, and people all over the world are repenting because they think Christ is returning now and they don’t want to burn. If He doesn’t come right away, how long will that religious fervor last? It will probably start to seem pretty silly, and they might get even wickeder as sort of a rebound effect.

Duty has more holding power, except it can start to feel like a sort of drudgery, and drudgery can wear you down until you are looking for an excuse to break free. Maybe one more trial comes and convinces you that there is no reward for righteousness, or you fall off the tracks a little and it feels good, and going further off track seems completely justifiable. (You can probably add Pascal’s wager as a subset of this—“It’s a good idea to do it”—but I suspect it would also not build much momentum. It seems fairly cynical, and cynicism is really opposite of faith.)

Duty and fear can both be starts, but at some point it needs to move into the heart. The person who was afraid feels something, the drudge finds some joy, and they begin to catch the vision. We need to be finding joy in our testimony, and have a desire to be good. It makes the difference between struggling to sustain our faith and having our faith sustain us.

Some time ago I was watching a video of someone talking about the murder of his friend. He had a lot of anger, and he was not religious, and I started thinking about how easy it is not to believe. Horrible things happen, and they can be understood, but it would also be easy to find religion ridiculous and not soften your heart to faith and forgiveness. Thinking about him, I feel like the key question would be, when you see your friend again, and know he is okay, and that he can never be hurt again, will that be enough? And I can see that some people will be filled with joy, and others will still be angry that the suffering happened at all.

The beauty of belief is that it opens you up to joy now. It will be wonderful to see my uncle again, and not to have to worry about money or health again, but I still get a tremendous amount of joy now from knowing that I am known, and loved, and that there is a plan for me. I receive joy from serving others, and feel confirmation and satisfaction through prayer and scripture reading. If we can connect to that joy we can serve for three years or thirty years. So finding that joy now is what matters most.

I don’t remember where I read it, but I did read a description at some point of Martin Luther’s change to belief in justification by faith, and I could totally imagine his feeling. I’m not saying he necessarily understood the process correctly, but he was weighed down by the burden of trying to save himself, and realized Christ had done it for him, and there was an overwhelming feeling of relief and gratitude.

I remember a friend who had been abused, and she thought she had put it behind her, but memories and pain were coming back, and suddenly she was able to let it go and be healed. I was confused at the time because it seemed so much like repentance, and it had not been her sin, but I remember her being filled with joy and love towards others. She was filled with charity.

I eventually came to understand that she was healed through the Atonement of Christ, and it covered pain as well as sin. In fact, it has to. It seems to me that His taking on the pain caused by the sins of others is what makes it possible for the price of those sins to be paid. And even if that pain is not caused by sin, but by foolishness, or germs, or accidents, there is still room for healing. There was room for my pain when I needed it, and I have had more love ever since.

All I can really say is that it is true. When He says “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” it is true. When He says “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free”, it is true. He is the way. Even if it is hard now, at least leave an opening for Him.

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