Between Consenting Adults

I'm on the road, so I have content, but won't be posting as regularly.

Years and years ago I was watching an episode of "Politically Incorrect", with Bill Maher. It was not something I watched habitually, but I remember one of the guests was Kathy Griffin. I did watch "Suddenly Susan", regularly (think of my tastes what you will), and so I was familiar with her, but as someone who did not play the most serious character.

I was very impressed with her because as the topic was going around of possibly hypocritical politicians visiting strip clubs, or prostitution or something like that, and while she was certainly all for what went on between consenting adults being their business, she thought it was important to remember that a lot of those women were incest and abuse survivors.

I don’t really remember them picking up on that conversational thread, but if we take strippers, prostitutes, and porn actresses together, one thing they tend to have in common is starting very young. Certainly, just by virtue of the age issue, statutory rape would be quite common, but often there has been something going on there that is worse.

Maybe they have been abused by a male relative, or maybe they don’t have a male relative, and some predator noticed that vacuum and started grooming them for the trade, but it’s not usually a simple matter of taking an aptitude test and deciding that’s your best career option.

I don’t think I actually know anyone who has worked as a prostitute, but I do know someone who has worked in the porn industry and a surprising number of my schoolmates have worked as strippers, at least for a while. It may be easier to focus on that area specifically, but I’m just going to say that despite varying degrees of legality and commitment, all three of these fields are basically about turning a body into a commodity. Getting a list of a centerfold’s turn-ons does not mean you know her or care about her as a person. I assume the underage aspects are more common with the prostitution because the other two being legal means some regulation, and I know it is not a coincidence. The deliberately seek the young and damaged, because it is hard to get an adult woman with a healthy self-image to sell herself. It's why tobacco companies say they don't target kids, but they do. You have to get them before they know better.

Abuse may not always be a factor. I remember an Emerald article back in my college days about different ways that students earned money, like selling plasma or working at the grocery store, and one of the featured students became a dancer at Jiggles after doing well at Amateur Night. My sisters know a guy who dances at Silverado, and he seems pretty well adjusted. I’m not saying it’s impossible. I’m just saying that a lot of the girls there got there because their self-worth was whittled away, and what they are doing is probably not building it back up.

From the point of view of a bunch of guys celebrating a bachelor party by getting drunk and watching women gyrate it may seem harmless, and they could even feel good about tipping well. However, what if you knew that the girl you were watching was up there because that was the natural destination that started with molestation when she was a young girl, and included an abusive boyfriend, and that she really felt like this was the only value she had? Do you feel a little bad now? Will tipping bigger bills fix it?

I’ve said I don’t know any prostitutes, but there is a face that haunts me of a girl who worked Blackstone in Fresno while I was on my mission. She looked about fourteen, but they tend to look older, so I am afraid she might have been twelve. All I wanted to do was feed her, and get her off the streets, but I was told it was too dangerous to try and help them because that tended to get them beaten by their pimps. Convince me that it’s a victimless crime.

Maybe this is where women do have some superiority, because they do consume less here, or at least they have historically. The last I knew, about 90% of prostitution customers are male, there are more male magazines, and there are less strip clubs for female customers, where they often have touring groups instead. As far as I know, there is no female equivalent of The Beaver Lodge.

How the internet has changed things up, I have no idea. Obviously e-readers have made some things more accessible with less embarrassment, hence the amazing sales rate of 50 Shades of Grey, though people are buying the hard copy of the book at a fast pace as well. In this case, there are no minors, or really any participants besides the author and the reader, so have we found something where there actually is no harm and no foul? Well, more on that next time.