Profanity

My sisters and I recently went to see Jersey Boys. At one point I nearly walked out due to the heavy profanity. This is unusual for me, but it was flying fast and loose and really served no purpose except to make you remember that people in New Jersey swear. Well, they were using it for cheap laughs, and they were getting it.

I have heard that Deb on Dexter uses some creative and hilarious profanity. Mamet is known for being profane and brilliant. This was not. It was repetitive and pedestrian, and they did not deserve the laughs they were getting. The funny thing is that in the second half, when Bob was telling Frankie that he didn’t want to perform anymore, they did slip in a use of the F-word that actually was really funny, but it was standing alone, so there was contrast, and it was an unexpected direction, and it just worked.

I want to be clear that while I personally don’t swear, I am around it all the time (family, friends, public transportation). I am usually not bothered by it, and I have never called out anyone who was not a relative for using bad language. It was unusual for me to be bothered at the show, but they were overdoing it, especially in that section, and again, it was so pointless.

I had a Drama teacher in junior high who gave us a great assignment, where we had to go through and edit a play for language. It really made you think about how words were used, and what their value was. Watching Top Gun after that, I saw that you could remove most of the language easily, with very few words even needing replacements. On the other hand, The Princess Bride has one swear word, when Inigo is confronting the Duke, and I don’t think any other phrasing would have the same impact.

Part of it may be that “strong” language gains its strength from its rarity, so overusing it dilutes its power. There is a poem by Jacques Prevert, Barbara, that again has only one “strong” word in it, but it’s a big one. I guess it would come closest to the F.word in English, but there is an added aspect of stupidity to the awfulness, and he uses it to let you know exactly how he feels about the war after contrasting some scenes before and after the war, just in case you had any doubts where he was going. It is effective. If he had used it several times, or if he used it in every poem, it would not mean that much.

I’ve never hid being a word nerd. I get invigorated by good word use, where emotions are captured and pictures are created, and even by the simple transmission of knowledge, which is so simple that we take it for granted, but which is vital. So, I like it when words are used well.

I suppose one thing that I don’t like about swearing is that because it is a shortcut to punching up your language, it probably keeps some people from actually learning how to speak well and effectively. They stop at swearing. Also, I think it adds to a general coarseness in society that is beneficial to noone. That is not even touching on the aspect that you take a name for something that is sacred or important or beautiful, and use it as if it is common and filthy. Or maybe that does touch on it, because you are chipping away at respect for things, which leads to chipping away at respect for each other, and maybe that’s how we all got so course.

(Also, “bitch” is really overused. Other people have written about this, and how it is such an easy way to denigrate a woman, especially relating to any time that a woman is being assertive or in authority, and there is no real equivalent for men in terms of how it is used, and they’re right. That would be a whole different topic though, and I’m not going there right now.)

That being said, I can see how swearing it can be valuable for some people. It starts (like so many things) with a story about My Chemical Romance, posted on one of their videos on Youtube.

A girl wrote that she used to cut herself and she was at an MCR concert in front, and Gerard saw her arms and he took her hand and told her to never do that again; she was too beautiful for that and if anyone ever made her feel like she wasn’t, she should tell them to, well, I think it was F off, maybe F themselves, but something like that.

So, I had heard something similar at a different concert, where it was Tonic (opening for Goo Goo Dolls, I think), and before singing “If you could only see”, where the lead singer instructed all of us to say that to anyone who did not treat us like gold, and I could not have been less impressed, but this was different.

You see, I had a friend who did cut herself for a while, while she was in a bad place in her life, due mainly to an abusive boyfriend, and it felt like the cutting was the only pain she could control. I was not spending a lot of time with her then, and I did not know what was going on, so I admit that my feelings are messed up on this one. She says I could not have made a difference, and she might be right based on other people who did know, but I still feel a lot of guilt for it. With that in mind, there is no vile thing that she could have said to him that I would not have applauded. I would have been in favor of anything she could say that would have helped break his hold on her and helped her see how worthless and evil he was.

If profanity can function as a shortcut to power, there might be people who really need that shortcut. I’m not going to fault anyone for that. Being able to value yourself is so key, and sometimes that will require making waves, and if that’s how you can manage it, go for it.

It doesn’t make casual usage sound any better. Also, it would not have been helpful for me. When I have tried swearing, I just feel cheap—not I am ashamed because I have been a bad girl, but just hey, you know better than that. At the same time, for all of my faults, finding my voice hasn’t exactly been a problem. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t resonate for me.

I guess what I am saying is do what you need to do, but also think about what you are doing. Examine that life because it does have worth.