Concert Etiquette

The AFI show was a good concert. There were great bands who were into it, they had enthusiastic fans there, and hey, it was Halloween. There was just one detractor, in that some people are asses.

I know, that's a little vulgar for me. It seems to be the most appropriate word though, so I'm going for it.

Lately, Roseland and Crystal Ballroom have become two of my favorite venues. While they do have seating on the upper levels, they are basically general admission dance halls, and so you are in the middle of it. You feel the energy of the crowd more than you do with assigned seats.

(The Wonder Ballroom would fit in here too, except it is much more of a chore to get there and back if you are taking public transit from the suburbs.)

There are frustrations. Standing for a long show can be physically tiring, but it can also be exhilarating, because you are a part of something. The energy of the crowd washes through you and over you.

It can also be dangerous. I remember at Fall Out Boy the band asking everyone to take a step back, because it was starting to get crowded, and they didn't want anyone crushed. That worked; everyone was still having a good time.

Also, sometimes you get cute little girls who need to make their way to the front, past everyone who got there earlier, thus snagging spots closer to the stage, because they are so special. This is irritating, but not particularly harmful. The problem at AFI was several people doing it, shoving hard. There were more big guys than little girls.

I don't love moshing, but having been at a few places where it was allowed (and a few where it wasn't but kind of happened anyway), if you don't want to participate you stay out of the area and it works. The boundaries can shift a little, but still, the overall system of no enforced participation seems to work.

This was something completely different. It wasn't even that many people, but they made a difference. The worst shove was probably the one that sent me about two and a half feet to the right, but maybe the ones with less distance were worse, because the reason I wasn't moving farther is that I was being pushed into other people.

That wasn't just me. At one point a girl was pushed into me and I supported her for a moment, and I couldn't tell you if that was just to keep her from falling or also to keep her from killing the person who knocked her into me. And I would totally understand, because I was thinking of striking out several times, but it would only escalate the issue and it would be way too easy to get the wrong person.

I did not actually see anyone lose their footing, but there have been trampling deaths at concerts before, and it wouldn't be hard for that to happen.

I eventually moved out of the crowd (I was in about the middle) and stayed in the back for a moment. One of the staff said if I had ID she could let me upstairs. Technically those are different tickets, so that might have been a little bit of rule-breaking there, but it was a kind offer and I appreciate it. I ended up staying in the back, but moving a little more right, towards merch.

And I left before the encore. I regret it, and I feel like a loser for it, but I was worn down and I just wanted out of there. I don't think the big bruise on my calf is from the show, because I think all of the blows were higher up, but yeah, it took away from the show, and I hate that, because it was a good show.

This is not being a fan of the band. Is it being punk rock? Maybe, but I just read a piece on how Miley Cyrus is totally punk rock now, and they made good arguments for it, but that does not make her suck any less.  (To be fair, it was a Vice piece.) They were just being asses.

I think it is ultimately going to have to be a venue-based solution. If everyone is pressing in, the band can ask them to step back. If the entire crowd begins to go crazy, bands can change the tone or stop the show. For a few asses, that has to be the venue's job.

At first I did not see how you could even get to these people, because the crowd was so thick, until one of them hit me twice. I don't know how close he got to the front, but he nonetheless worked his way around to the back and started over. That's when I realized it was not about getting closer; it was about being obnoxious. That's not for the band.

My recommendation is expulsion from the show, and keep a record so if they do it again they get banned from the venue. Put a real cost on it.

That's important for safety reasons, but it's more than that. There are people who are instigators, but there are also people who could go either way.

One group pushed in front of me, and I was mad already, but then they parked themselves. There wasn't really anywhere to go at that point. Anyway, now I had a tall (and rude) person in front of me. As I was glaring at the back of his neck, just about to tap him on the shoulder and demand he give way, he turned around. Maybe he felt the glare. I said "I think you need to move."

To his credit, he let me in front of him, and I think it was him who, during another bad wave, put his hands on my shoulders to steady me. He had been participating in the problem, but he was capable of rising above it.

A lot of people were really good there, in terms of looking out for others, and not being jerks. Some will always be like that, and some need reminders, but they have it in them. The asses ruin it for everyone.