Sometimes
there is a nice synchronicity to things. Shortly after I started reading
Suzanne Pharr's Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism, I saw a tweet:
"This
really pisses me off, why is a boy called a 'faggot' for not objectifying
women" and it linked to a "joke" from UK Banter that is not
worth repeating.
I knew the
answer now, though, because it was in the book, and replied "Because he is
rebelling against the patriarchy by not objectifying women." And she knew
that, but was still frustrated by it, which I get.
So, building
on yesterday's post, since June I have been reading books that have related to
African-American history and to feminist issues. During that time period there
have also been several things coming up via the internet related to the
intersection of different marginalized groups.
Most of
them have been negative, like a hash tag going around at one point, #feminismisforwhitewomen,
and a solidarity one, because prominent feminists often ignore women of color.
There was also an article about black men not supporting black women. There are
very valid reasons for the frustration, but I'm not sure it is always handled
well.
There are
two things that come to mind for me. One goes back to Pharr's book. It focused on lesbian
issues, and I spotted those blinders on myself, because previously
"homophobia" meant persecution of gay men to me. On one level I knew
it was more than that, but men are the default, and I was subject to that,
despite being a woman.
The other
issue is something that has been bugging me for a while. When I read stories
about women facing sexism and misogyny, and especially sexual harassment, women
of color have it worse. Where I might just get something said to me, they will
get groped.
This makes
me feel like crying tears of rage. I have not done anything to deserve my
privilege; they have not done anything to lose it. That is not anything small.
The shame of the time there was physical contact is seared into my brain, and
that was just once. To always have that increased risk - that lack of safety,
and that lack of control over your physical space - I know I don't fully grasp
how that feels, but it's wrong that it exists.
I am
becoming more aware of how things vary. There also seem to be more stories of
physical harassment from England. That may be centered on low income
communities, because there is certainly privilege that goes away as your
economic status drops, or there may be some cultural issue there; I don't know.
I do know
that I am better off for being located in the Willamette Valley. If I was in a small rural area, or
in the South, being female would have different ramifications, as would being a
person of color. It doesn't make Portland paradise, but I'm still grateful to
be here.
When one of
the flare-ups was going on, I remembered something about Ida B Wells breaking
away from the women's suffrage movement because it would not stand up for black
rights as well. Women felt like they would lose support by including black men
in their efforts. I tried to look into that, but what I found instead was
something on how Wells criticized Susan B Anthony for letting her efforts take
a back seat to raising her family. I guess these conflicts go back a long way.
I know that
no amount of marginalization makes up for marginalizing others. I am really
positive about that one. I also know that trying to throw all of those groups
out and just being for humans doesn't work. There are specific things that
happen that require examination, and there is a need for safe places.
I may not
know the best way to balance all of that, but we need to listen to other
voices. Privilege is so blind. There are things that I would never know about
if I did not read, or talk to people from other walks of life. But just because
you are not forced to think about something doesn't mean that you shouldn't
think about it.
Apparently,
there is always going to be someone who will tell you that you are doing it
wrong, whether it is being female, being black, or being gay. Right now it
seems very popular to tell poor people how what they are doing wrong. A lot of
it makes me want to smack people, but that's not the answer.
We need to
be listening to each other. Part of that listening means to quit making
judgments. A lot of the criticism that comes at various voices is because they
aren't speaking for a particular group. Well, yes, if all women were alike,
then one could speak for all of us, but there is a great diversity of human
experience, even when you start subdividing it, and it's not a fair burden to
place on anyone. If any one man said he was speaking for all men, we'd know he
was full of it, so why does one woman, or one gay man, or one Mexican, have to
cover everyone?
At the same
time, we need to be looking outward to make sure that we are not only listening
to voices similar to our own. There is not true equality of opportunity now. That
must change, and it has to be equality for everyone, not just some. The false
idea that one group needs to put down another to get their own has the people
with actual power laughing all the way to the bank. Keeping that division going
works better for them than anyone else.
The
dominant voices should not be the only voices. I appreciate Roxane Gay's work
on this:
Technically
that is closed to me, but it doesn't take anything away from me, and the pieces
that come from this add to the dialogue. They are too easily overlooked in the
current system. This kind of outreach is vital.
The chasm
between how I would like things to be and how they are is discouraging some
times, but there are things that give me hope. One thing that has been becoming
clear is how many options there are to see another side better.
With Slavery
By Another Name, there is a thick book, and I love thick books, but there
is also a 90-minute movie. As I start my Native American Heritage reading for
the year, because I saw some art in Chicago, I am going to explore that art
more. There are plays and blogs and movies. And, there were two other things I
read for my Black History reading that I was not expecting to be an option at
all, and that please me greatly. They get their own post tomorrow.
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