Words without pictures

There is a short comic that I have been meaning to draw for a while. I have made some attempts, but I hate the way I draw. (That old problem.) Also, my comics tend to be pretty wordy too. Maybe it's just better to write it out, and let it be short because the pictures are missing.

Currently there are two main pressures in my life.

One is the job. I have no job. I am looking for a job. There are bills. There is a mortgage. There is a lot of "We went another direction." It scares me.

The other is my mother. Her dementia is growing worse. It sped up after holding steady for three years. It hurts, and it scares me.

Both are exhausting problems, where it is impossible to do enough. They are also opposite problems.

Unemployed I can be here and help her. Unemployed I may not be able to keep her in the house.

They pull in such different directions it seems inevitable that I will break. That has its allure.

If I could truly split, I could do so much more. I could finish the pilot while meditating with Mom. I could query local jobs and literary agents simultaneously. I could cook Mom a good brain-building meal while pruning the backyard.

Except it wouldn't go like that.

Even assuming a non-fatal split were possible, the end result would not be two fully-functioning mes, but two half-mes. Hopping around one-legged, trying to do things one-handed, without depth perception or both brain hemispheres, probably leaking drips of my inside over everything as I went.

Actually, that does sound about right.