Wrapping up tidbits

I am finding myself really tempted to write about guns today, but that doesn't seem like the best idea.

I can't rule out that I will hold off on switching to misogyny and spend some time on guns next week. But hey, if racism and colonialism fit in well with misogyny and patriarchy, there's certainly room for guns in all of that discussion too.

Instead, I have a couple of minor points, and I don't know that either of them needed a whole blog post, so I'll mash them together today.

First off, in terms of listening to the person you owe an apology (and in conjunction with yesterday's musings on human nature), this has come up in my own family dynamics. I will have a complaint, and maybe I am not calm enough, but all I get in response is how wrong and unreasonable and stupid I am. Then, the next day or so, the other party will tell me what they will be doing differently.

One thing that is unsatisfactory about this is that the action they choose is often not what the key issue was anyway. It has the added bonus of leaving me feeling unheard. I mean, clearly something was heard if they are trying to make a change, and it is better than being completely ignored, but it would mean a lot to hear that I have a point. It might be easier to discuss things rationally when your worth isn't consistently being called into question.

One thing I remember really well from recently, though, is that I needed time to figure out what would help and I wasn't given that. Listening doesn't just involve asking the question, but asking it sincerely, and that needs to mean allowing careful consideration. If someone knows right away, that's great, but when we are talking about groups that have been historically marginalized and abused, there are many reasons why they might not have a response ready. It doesn't mean that they won't be able to come up with one, and that giving them that agency isn't a part of the solution.

The other thing that I should mention is that I am currently kind of in over my head on online classes. It's getting better now, but when I signed up for the Indigenous Canada class, I already had five music classes going on, and then before I finished Aboriginal Worldview and Education I signed up for another four classes related to Roman art, architecture, and archeology because I couldn't choose between them. On the plus side, they reinforce each other, but it has been hectic trying to keep up.

Other than just letting you know something that is going on in my life, I also mention that because of something from back when I was reading The Feminine Mystique. It mentioned things being set up for housewives like lectures on classical architecture (yes, my classes covered the three main types of columns, as well as composite and things that came later) and how it left them unsatisfied.

I thought that kind of lecture sounded great, and yes, given the opportunity I did find it really interesting, but that can happen because my life isn't empty.

Filling an empty life with fluff still leaves it empty. Those women needed things to do and ways to matter, not just methods to fill up empty hours. (Empty hours sound like a treat to me, but that's because I have so many things that could go into them.)

At the same time, there were many women who never experienced the problem with no name because they were working hard to support their families. They didn't have to deal with emptiness, but they might have worries about being bone-tired, or how both incomes were not enough, or all manner of things. Often, for people in that financial class we don't even think that they would appreciate a lecture on classical architecture, but they might. People from everywhere have all kinds of interests, and it's nice to be able to indulge them.

This is my messy way of leading up to saying that people need both. They need to feel like they are doing something that matters, and that they are relevant and capable. They also need diversion, where it's okay to know something that you don't need, but that you enjoy. There should be a balance there. Economic inequality and gender roles and racial constructions can get in the way of all that, but everyone has something to contribute, and will be happier for getting to contribute it. Everyone deserves to have some fun, and will be better off for having that fun.

It shouldn't be too much to ask.

ETA:

I felt like I should put up which classes, in case anyone is interested:

EdX

Vocal Recording Technology (Berklee)
Music Theory 101 (Juilliard)
Introduction to Performance Psychology (Juilliard)
Music for Wellness (Berklee)
Discovering Instruments of the Orchestra (Juilliard)
Introduction to the Music Business (Berklee)

(Previously had taken Religion and Hip Hop Culture through Rice, The Rise of Superheroes and Their Impact on Pop Culture through Smithsonian, and Macronutrients and Overnutrition through Wageningen. I also discarded an annoying Harvard Class that was too much science and not enough cooking.)

Coursera

Roman Architecture (Yale)
Arch of Titus: Rome and the Menorah (Yeshiva University)
Roman Art and Archaeology (University of Arizona)
The Changing Landscape of Rome: Archaeology and and History of Rome (Sapienza University of Rome)

(Previously completed Aboriginal Worldviews and Education through University of Toronto and Indigenous Canada from University of Alberta.)

(The comic book classes I had taken on Canvas were through Ball State.)