A House of My Own is a collection of writings by Sandra Cisneros. There were some magazine pieces and a presentation that went with a slide show and things like that, but then she wrote comments on the context or on her process. Part of why I related to it so much was because a lot of it was about writing, but death played a role as well.
I have been doing a completely different reading list related to death and dementia and wholeness, but things come at you from all angles.
In this case, she wrote about the death of her mother, and feeling her soul's release. She had felt that before with a friend, and it had been so powerful that knowing her mother's dynamic personality she was expecting something like a tidal wave. Instead it was shockingly gentle, an aspect of her mother she had not known.
I have had an inkling of how death could be a release for my mother, with all of this worry that she can't resolve relieved. Maybe it read differently because I have recently been thinking about unrealized potential, and how the way this world goes no one gets to achieve everything that they have inside them.
My mother has been thwarted a lot. She just plowed ahead with whatever needed to be done, so it didn't register as a kid. She made good things out of it for the most part, but still, there was loss and I got this glimpse of how restoration could be. I'm not even sure that it's comforting, but it touched me, and I think that as I grow to understand that better it will be more beautiful.
Then there was Submerged, by Vita Ayala.
I do not think this has to lessen the reading experience, but I am going to spoil it here, so keep that in mind if you keep reading.
With a storm system heading in, Elysia goes in search of her brother in the subway system as sections of it become flooded. The callbacks to the Greek underworld were pretty clear, but I don't think I was specifically thinking of Orpheus and Eurydice until the end.
Having successfully conquered obstacles and found her brother, as they begin to find their way out and emerge back into daylight, Angel keeps asking Elysia to look at him, and she does not want to.
If you will recall, to reclaim his wife from death Orpheus had to get out of the underworld, back into daylight, without looking back to see Eurydice following him. They made it all the way, but he looked back just a little too soon - like he was out, but she was only mostly out - and Eurydice vanished, remaining among the dead. Orpheus never really rejoined life, mourning until he was torn apart by Maenads.
It feels like Elysia sees the resemblance too, in her determination to avoid looking back. Angel keeps begging, though, because he is in fact dead. This time they have had together is grace for both of them, but it is ending and she needs to face it.
But Elysia is able to live. She can't change the death, but she can face it and then move on. Denial wouldn't allow that.
I do not feel like I have done a good job of conveying these works. I felt them emotionally, and trying to explain them intellectually is inadequate. I have also given names and authors, though, so you don't need to rely on my accounts. Both are available through the Washington County Library system.
For me, maybe I have written this before, but I think that saying about the teacher appearing when the student is ready is wrong-headed in that it implies this one opportunity that has to be waited upon. There are teachers all around, which is good when the student is finally ready to start noticing.
They're all around. Being open, you find a handful of solace here, and a spark of inspiration there. It can add up, if you let it.
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