Tidying as a matter of life or death

I was trying to make a point with someone and referenced Marie Kondo. She deflected and mentioned being drawn more to this new Swedish method. 

I knew in this case that it was just a deflection; there was no way that this person was actually adopting any new methods for any type of organization or tidying. I do like knowing what's what, so looked it up: Swedish Death Cleaning! 

For those irritated by Marie Kondo's pixie-like cuteness, Swedish death cleaning sounds way more metal.

The initial description that I read sounded worse: yes, it is thinking about the people who have to clean up after you. I have certainly known people left with mounds of things to go through after a parent's death. I get that. 

There also seemed to be an element of getting rid of things that would really hurt people, like the letters proving your affair, or the journal entries about how disappointed you are in your kid.

(I recently learned it is tradition to seal a royal will for 90 years after the death. I can only assume that's to continue the hiding of illegitimate children, but it seems relevant.)

Swedish death cleaning is not all dark, though the objections I have stand. This is from an article from before the book came out, Margareta Magnusson's The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.

https://www.countryliving.com/home-maintenance/cleaning/a45190/what-is-swedish-death-cleaning/

Apparently Magnusson was around 80 when she wrote her book, and it is targeted to people over 50. That can a different mindset.

They do mention thinking about wills and inheritances and things too, and I am totally in favor of that.

There are other articles calling it the opposite of Marie Kondo, but there are definite similarities. Magnusson also recommends starting with clothes. Readers talk about it taking a longer time, but may not realize that the period Kondo has in mind is six months. Those reading Magnusson's work say it will leave things more streamlined and allow for satisfying reflection on your life. I assume, then, that it could still lead to changing your life and feeling more joy. Maybe it's a little bit late, but if that's when you start, that's when you start.

Personally, I prefer the focus on life, and finding and living the life that is joyful for you. The Swedish method seems more negative. 

My main objection is the focus on others. 

I think about others a lot. I care about people. I put their needs above mine, probably too often, but the best thing I have learned over all of this time is that I matter too. I should have joy.

Sometimes there seems to be a terrible imbalance, where people can either only know that they matter or know that other people matter, when all of the time it is both. 

Without having read Magnusson's book, it seems to do everything thinking about others, and then if you benefit from that it's just a bonus. That does not sound joyful.

Figure out your ideal life for you! Get the things that drag you down out of your way for you!

My pet peeve from the article -- without knowing if it was extrapolation or actually in the book -- is that it seems to find gifting a solution and making your discards other peoples' problems: "These books are for you; I don't want them anymore!" Seriously, do not do that.

(The book definitely says to tell your friends so they hold you accountable, so making other people responsible for your problems may be a theme.)

If having 120 porcelain figures sparks joy for you, but you don't want your kids to have to deal with them later, maybe your final instructions can include hiring an estate service. You can budget it, put it in writing, and verbally let your next of kin know. It doesn't have to be all one way or the other.

And if you have evidence of unhappy family situations, maybe you should clear those out now, but by really clearing them, not merely destroying the evidence. Go to counseling. Have a heartfelt talk. Cut out a toxic person from your life (not something to be done lightly, but the only thing to do sometimes).

Even knowing that other people are important too, choose life and choose yourself.