Crystal Ball

Recently I was thinking about a certain relationship and wondering about its future. The impression came to me that nothing was going to happen for another five years.

I do not think that five years is an exact prediction, but more an indicator that it is not the immediate future.

Though initially discouraging, it was also freeing: don't worry about it for now.

There are two connected ideas that I will share.

I think the reason that the time period I felt was "five years" is because I have some other five year plan things going on. That partially comes from job interview questions. 

I have some 5 year goals related to study and things. One is that in 2027 I want to take the MCAT, LSAT and GMAT.

Yes, that is a vanity thing, and to the tune of about $900, but I want to know how I would do. I have in mind that part of that will be a major aptitude test, where perhaps it gives the next phase of my life some direction.

Sure, when I had that ten year plan it was shot to pieces, but you can't stop having plans just because life doesn't obey them.

(I cannot imagine any GMAT score that would motivate me to get an MBA, but the other two potential courses of study do have some appeal.)

The other thought is more about a change in mindset.

In the past, whenever I had something in the future the goal was always to lose weight by then, that being the magic bullet.

That is not actually a good goal, in terms of feasibility or mental health or even physical health, which raises the question of what is a good goal? 

How do I want to be different in five years?

I do have some thoughts there.

Certainly the way I annoy myself the most now is procrastination. I can also see that sometimes when I do that, I have hangups that I am avoiding dealing with. I would like to see improvement there. I do better sometimes, but there is room for more consistency.

In addition, I can see that one frequent obstacle is that sometimes I really need to ask for help but I do not want to. I have made some progress here, but there is room for more.

Which I guess means that my real goal is to continue in the direction I am headed, but maybe faster since there is more clarity.

Finally, in terms of goals that are good for health... as impossible as it seems to have really good health while I am working in a call center, for the next five weeks I will be in training, and I have a vacation a week after that.

This is as good a time as any to try and take better care of myself. The stress will come back, but maybe I can rearrange some things before it does, and maybe that will help.

That's where I'm at.