What are you doing?

The last post ended with a question: what are we going to do?

As I have been thinking over some of these topics, I have been thinking that "What are you doing?" is a reasonable question. It's an important question to ask yourself, and it's a reasonable question to ask me.

My hope is that as I answer the question for myself, it may help others in their own planning.

I really don't feel like I do much. I don't do any organizing. The last time I marched was 2017, but not that one. 

I don't do much in the way of volunteering.

I do try and keep up with direct giving. It is not that I am against 501(c)(3) charities; I have a regular payroll deduction to one to take advantage of employer matching. However, I also know that with organized charities there can be a lot of bureaucratic delays and attempts to weed out the undeserving that limit the ability to help. 

When I was trying to get my mother onto Medicaid and myself out of foreclosure, it seemed like every application that I went through needed to be completed three times due to poor instructions or pages being lost after being sent or something. It was an inordinate amount of stress and labor from someone already on the edge. If sometimes someone just says they need money and I send them some through Paypal, that seems better.

While I do periodically give to new or different people, I am also aware that I tend to keep giving to the same people over and over again, mainly because of health problems that incur repeated costs. Because of that, I am keenly aware that what I do is of limited usefulness. Having a better health care system and a more equitable economy would be vastly superior, but what is in my power is $40 via Paypal.

I had calculated how much I thought I could reasonably give, but I keep giving more as more needs pop up. It has become somewhat of an exercise in faith for me. When I got my tax refund, I was feeling good because I would have more to give and still be ahead, but still more needs popped up. After paying my bills I had $10.10 to last for a week, but it did last. 

I am not exactly recommending this, but it feels like my path and I rely on intuition a lot.

Otherwise, I am constantly reading and studying, trying to be better informed. I share that knowledge freely, through the blog and conversations. I am not sure if I really influence anyone beyond my sisters, but there is an influence there.

I have trained for other things. I became a Master Food Preserver about 23 years ago, and spent time teaching canning classes and answering questions at farmers' markets. About 15 years ago I trained for Community Emergency Response, and was ready to be called on, though it never happened.

I try and be aware of others and considerate of them.

I wear the mask. It is true that does more to protect others from me than me from others, which is frustrating, but if for no other reason than to signal to other immune-compromised people that I care about their safety and ability to participate in society, I will keep wearing it.

I used to do more. There were times when I had more money and could be more generous, and there were times when I had more energy. I used to see more people needing encouragement and respond to that more frequently. There are probably people I am missing now, and I hope other people are spotting them.

I used to do a lot of work on making dolls for a local children's hospital, but that program has gone away.

I mention those things because circumstances change, and continue to do so. I have been through three bad unemployment/underemployment times, and two periods of bad burnout. Even as some resources were depleted, others were recovered.

As much as caring for my mother depleted me emotionally and financially, there have been strains from the Trump presidency and the pandemic that have worn down many of us; that is not just me.

With so many people burned out, we are all going to have to be kind to each other and look out for each other. A lot of the best people do not have much to give right now, but don't count yourself out.

My resources are limited, but what I do is consistent with my values. That is important to me.

What I do will also not harm my cause. Even if I cannot help as much as I want, I do not harm. That is important to me.

(Refer back to Dunking.)

Can I do more? Can I do differently? That is something that is worth asking regularly. 

I am starting to think maybe I should try doing some sort of letter writing. Would it be effective? Worth the effort? Do I even have the capacity for that effort? Or would that require dropping something else?

It's worth asking.