I tried thinking of the best path to say the most important things to say. I am not sure this one is perfect, but for this post I am going to go over the memoirs in the order of least-liked to most, always keeping in mind that tastes vary.
Fairest by Meredith Talusan
One thing that I would like to read more about, and I don't really see it discussed much, is how much gender conditioning affects people. For example, does someone assigned female at birth still -- even after transitioning -- feel that compulsion to apologize and play nice that is hounded into women.
While the influences are strongly cultural, Talusan was born in the Philippines as an oldest (for several years only) son, and was also albino, causing her to look white. There was a lot of doting on and spoiling by the grandmother. While there were definite sources of pain beyond gender identity, there is an extent to which Talusan is often really selfish and inconsiderate, and not a great child or friend. There are things I really sympathize with, and things that are not her fault, but this is ultimately why I didn't really enjoy the time spent in her book. Still interesting.
This was the only one I really didn't like, and the next two were pretty equal, where I am not sure about the rank.
Believe Me: A Memoir of Love, Death, and Jazz Chickens by Eddie Izzard (now going by Suzy Izzard)
If you enjoy Izzard's humor, with a lot of tangents and circling back, you should enjoy this book. I didn't mind that part so much, except it seems to require more repetition.
A bigger factor for me was the certainty of rightness, which kept getting repeated, especially for Izzard's certainty that there is no God. I mean, I disagree, but over and over and over again. I appreciate that she still believes in kindness, and there are some amazing goals achieved, but at the same time it just gets a little tiresome.
She tells a story about a class where they had to impersonate each other, with the imitation of her being something like "blah blah blah theater, blah blah blah design" so perhaps she is at peace with it.
Because this book was written before Izzard clarified her name and pronouns, I also can't help wondering what difference that time has made, and if there might be some more relaxation, and less need to demonstrate authority. Perhaps we'll see.
Pageboy by Elliot Page
The thing that made this book hard for me -- and this is not a reason not to read it -- is that there was so much exploitation and victimization of a young actor. That includes sexual exploitation, but there is some racism and dangerous stunts on the set of the Flatliners remake that were very frustrating. I read Maureen Ryan's Burn It Down earlier this year, so I shouldn't even be surprised at the Flatliners stuff, but the amount of creepy adults preying on minors and very young adults... it was just hard, and the knowledge that it can be and has been worse does not make it better.
Love That Story: Observations From A Gorgeously Queer Life by Jonathan Van Ness
This one is kind of not really a memoir, but a collection of stories after a memoir. Actually, I am not sure the other book is a full memoir, but being on reality shows may also make someone feel like there is more known, and less that needs to be explained.
Regardless, the things Van Ness does write about are laid out with honestly and emotion, and it does make me want to read the first book. Lots of enthusiasm and tangents, often with gymnastics references, so Van Ness might be kind of tiring too, like Izzard, but differently.
Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More by Janet Mock
This is again one where I want to read the other book, but this book does cover the journey; I am just interested in what else she has to say.
I think compared to the others mentioned so far, Mock may have a greater analysis and understanding of her entire process.
Christine Jorgensen: A Personal Autobiography by Christine Jorgensen
I think I like Christine's personality most, but there are two other things that I believe make her story very valuable.
One is that with her transition happening so early, there is a lot about the processes various doctors went through to try and make sure that it was reasonable to do the hormone supplements and then the surgery and that all of this could be good for her. It was interesting to see how much more energy she had after starting estrogen. I am not sure whether there was a hormonal imbalance for her as she was born that it corrected, or it as the relief in being able to become herself, but this was good for her.
The other factor is that often in the other cases there is some tragedy or abuse or disconnect or something where transphobes are likely to point at that as an explanation for their being trans. That's not how it works, but those factors aren't present in Christine's life. She had a very happy childhood and a supportive family, but she was also always a girl.
Welcome to St. Hell: My Trans Teen Misadventure by Lewis Hancox
This one is separate from the normal ranking because it is a graphic novel, though in many ways it can function as a memoir. The focus really is on the gender disconnect, and then on being able to connect. This may be one of the better ones for showing the value of the blockers, because puberty is rough.
More next Friday.
There is so much to say about being aware of how terrible and dangerous trans people are to the very fabric of society and all that is good and proper about the world, and plenty of it is being said and repeated.
ReplyDeleteThe greatest counter to that, in my opinion and experience, is actually getting to know or at least talking to, a real trans person. And as you find that the people you're talking to are human beings doing their best to make their way in this world, with the added layers of undeserved weight of struggling against a challenge to find their identity and how to be true to their genuine selves, but also doing so in a world that seems determined to stop them from simply living their lives at every turn.
But I guess that works kind of like that with all kinds of prejudices.
I hope, as more trans people find their voices and their stories heard by a wider audience, and people give an honest try to just understand their fellow humans instead of dismissing them out of hand as "too other", that we can see a transition away from hate and prejudice and toward empathy and caring for one another.