I am not yet ready to write a fat heroine. I have
started adding weight to them. What sort of cruel author am I? It's not exactly
like that.
I guess it started with Claudia:
This is someone who is led to her superpower by the
path of depression. She is a teenage girl. She was going to have body issues. I
started thinking about those specific body issues, and I imagined her having
wide hips and thighs. I may have been a little influenced by Nani in Lilo
& Stitch, but also it hasn't been that long since the big determinant
for girls to know they were too fat was the lack of a thigh gap. That the
actual presence of a thigh gap has more to do with how your frame is built than
how much flesh is hung on said frame is just one of those things.
That blog post also refers to another comic, with a
link to a 6 page screenplay I had written for it. That's Theme Park, and
I don't have any sketches for it, but with Claudia, and with Morgan (whom I
will get to in a moment) and with recently being at a concert where the lead
singer had a bit of a stomach, I think Joanna has one too.
Let me be clear that I am not calling the singer
fat. He was not, but he was not completely toned and devoid of body fat either.
He just happened to have a little collection at the stomach where you could
hardly even tell when he was wearing the sweatshirt, but then when he took it
off you could see it. Personally, I thought it was kind of cute. I liked it so
much that I am giving it to Joanna.
Here's the thing. Some time ago I remember reading
an article about Carrie (both the book and the movie but now also a
musical!). The writer was pointing out that no matter how socially maladjusted
Carrie was, or how weird her family, some guy would have displayed interest in
a Carrie who looked like Sissy Spacek. He said the Carrie in the novel was
overweight and pasty and acne-ridden.
Not having read the book, I will take his word for
that. It is pretty believable because that's how movies and television go. If
who gets to date is based on looks, the people we see on movies and television
are generally quite eligible for dating. There is an exception here and there,
but generally the "fat" ones are normal weight, and the
"ugly" ones are just wearing glasses and their bangs over their face.
So there was knowing that, but also thinking about
Claudia, and the singer, it reminded me that it is common to have trouble
spots. Maybe you are at basically a healthy weight, but there is a little more
on your butt, or your upper arms, or your gut. I have friends with rounded
faces, and it frustrates them because they always feel like their face looks
fat, but it isn't fat. Those bodies aren't perfect, but there's not really anything
wrong with them. They are human. They keep us from being a bunch of clones.
They're beautiful.
I have been carrying around Morgan's story for
probably about 17 years. I knew she wasn't popular, but I hadn't spent a lot of
time thinking about why until it came time to write it out. Once I got there,
it was sad how much of it had to do with her early socialization and what other
people happened to be around, but it was easy for her to think there was
something wrong with her. Keeping it easy, I did this:
"She usually felt clumsy too. Morgan had a short waist,
and when her chest started developing it felt like it was always in the way,
especially for throwing or catching. She had liked playing softball before, but
it got too embarrassing.
The boys started paying attention then. Morgan knew that
boys were supposed to like breasts, and part of the fascination was probably
that. It always translated into them teasing her about being fat.
Morgan was mostly sure that the boys were just being jerks,
and that she was really okay, but that part of her that was left unsure
suffered. Adults always said if a boy teases you it means he likes you; that
didn't seem like it could be right."
I know
girls with that issue. Maybe that's more than one issue, but I know girls with
the rest of it too. Anyway, the book is out. Please buy my book:
I don't consider Morgan, Claudia, or Joanna fat, but
they are all vulnerable to having their weight shamed. That is not just a
physical thing. All three are isolated and have some emotional scars because of
other things that have happened. With a different confidence level they might
have ended up making friends with social power, or even wielding social power
themselves.
It's not only physical, but the physical is there
too. Fat has a stigma. You may have noticed I didn't specify which singer had
the stomach, even though I was saying it wasn't a big deal. It feels like an
insult that I even noticed. I think this
makes us not really see it clearly - almost like a fat derangement. I'm going
to try and write about that tomorrow.
For now, one more article that may have influenced
me:
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