Six months of emo songs

Of course, I was listening for much longer than six months.

Nonetheless, I have been using songs from artists mentioned in Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, and Emo by Andy Greenwald from April 2nd until today, just over six months.

One nice things about the daily songs is that they can help crystallize impressions. I have some thoughts when a I review an artist, but then going back a little later and choosing which song of theirs I want to share, it brings it back. I am better now at identifying ear worms, and I think the reviews and the daily songs are part of that.

Today I finished up with a final song from Saves The Day. That felt fitting because I used more songs from Save The Day than any other band, and some of that is liking them, but also some of that is they were mentioned multiple chapters and were previously unknown to me.

Each time I listened, more songs would stand out. My notes on the first two mentions are merely "okay" and "not bad", but I ended up feeling more positive on them. Familiarity doesn't always breed contempt; sometimes it allows a greater appreciation to grow.

The last time I wrote about this project, I mentioned one band that I had found really annoying, but I was going to listen again because they were on the Alternative Press list. I think they were less annoying. It's still not liking - for sure - but they did not seem as terrible.

It is wonderful when a song just seizes you and you are like "This is the band!" That has happened for me with "I Wanna Be Sedated", "Train In Vain", and "Welcome To The Black Parade". Sometimes it is magic. However, there is a good reason to look beyond the hooks and give some things a greater chance. When I review, I try and listen to everything at least three times, and I stand by that. If there is still nothing to say after three times, that review becomes very hard to write, but I tried.

The most interesting evolution for me was the one with The Starting Line. On the first listen, I thought they were so emo (I was starting to grasp the term) - especially "Bedroom Talk:" - that it was sadly funny, but heard some good intros and things. By the fourth time, I had started to like them. Then I looked at the lyrics. Yeah, it's emo all right; it's the worst part of emo. That will probably be its own post later.

I had originally given myself all of October to catch up on the Comixology cache, but I hurried it up as I saw that I was coming to the end of daily emo songs. I did that because I like putting updates together, and because some of the flaws you find in some comics are remarkably similar to the flaws that you find in some emo songs (which is why it becomes a bigger topic than comics or music), but also because of how those projects are for me.

I am good at diving into things, but that is because I really like knowing and understanding things. If it is about something I like, that's even better, but also, I am pretty good at liking things. I mean, I do like knowledge in general, but there are topics where it means more, and comics and music are up there.

When I first wanted to understand what people meant when they were calling things "emo" (or defending against being called "emo"), that's why I read Nothing Feels Good, and that's why the extent to which it didn't really help was very disappointing. But hey, I was able to pull a curriculum from it, and five years later here we are.

I feel very comfortable with the term now. That's fine on its own, but also - and this was a point yesterday too - there is so much left. There are 24 bands from the book that I want to spend more time on. I don't know if they will all get full reviews, but they will at least get more listening time.

There are also some groups that came after emo but who have some similar associations to check out. That will be interesting.

Those are going onto the back burner for a little bit, because I want to review UFO and their catalog is so big I am having to spread it out over several weeks. There is new music from Electric Century, The All-American Rejects, and Lindsay Buckingham and Christine McVie.

Plus I have about 70 bands reviewed over the last six months who are waiting for their shot at the daily song, along with all of the other bands in the review queue.

Because of all of this (and a lot of regular books I am reading) I will not be starting Guitar Heroes of the 70s until next year. Sometimes you need to know your limits.

But if you are curious, here are the bands that are slated for additional future listening, in the order of my deciding I was interested:

Current, Jawbreaker, Texas is the Reason, Jawbox, Mogwai, Rye Coalition, Superdrag, The Hives, Interpol, Atmosphere, Nelly, Social Distortion, Face to Face, Samiam, FenixTX, Allister, The Rocking Horse Winner, Something Corporate, The Insurgent, Frail, Rocket from the Crypt, Finch, Antiflag, and Engine Down

Related posts:

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2017/08/one-good-thing-about-emo.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2017/03/emo-daily-songs-and-james-dewees.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/07/going-emo.html

Comics Catch Up: My Comixology library

I finally made it through all of my Comixology comics, and am relieved. For comics I already own, there is only one that I haven't read, and I will get to it -- that is amazing progress. It is also a relief to be done, because this section wasn't nearly as fun as going through my Dark Horse cache.

(That is not a surprise in itself. My preference for Dark Horse declared itself early: http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2012/08/i-dont-mean-to-be-contrary-but-it.html)

If you'll recall, there were 61 different titles in the Dark Horse cache, with 14 where I will definitely read more, 13 that I might possibly want to read more, and 24 where I was unlikely to want to read more, plus ten that I had either read completely or that were compilations.

I had 101 titles on Comixology. Most of them only had one issue, though, and I had many, many issues of Hellboy, so those numbers don't quite match up the way they look. (I see now that it was 172 Dark Horse issues and 196 issues on Comixology).

However, of the 101 titles, there were 53 that I am pretty sure that I won't ever want to pick back up. There were 11 mostly single-issue comics, but also a few limited runs that I had completed of my own volition for other, and 23 where I may want to read more, and only 14 where I definitely want to read more. That is a lot of good stuff, but not really liking more than half felt like a lot.

I am tempted now to promote one of the Unlikely comics to "Possibly" and make that number 52. That would be very fitting, because 5 of them were from DC's New 52, and boy do I ever hate that. Slick artwork, but so much noise and so little humanity -- kind of sadistic, really -- I could only hate it more if the art were bad.

It was good to read some other publishers and be better versed on their offerings. Publishing houses are still not as reliable an indicator as the writers. I will check out almost anything from Dark Horse and maybe also Top Shelf, but for most others it just depends. Still, if the exception proves the rule, I think I might hate Valiant. After a few of their titles I started wrinkling up my face whenever I saw their logo, and right through reading X-O Manowar yesterday, nothing redeemed them.

It did really validate my writer love. I would never hesitate to read Gail Simone. She can get pretty twisted (which she admits and revels in) but I just keep finding heart and meaning and good things in her work. I suppose that means that I could even try something New 52 with her name on it, but it wouldn't go at the top of the list.

I feel similarly about Terry Moore. I just keep liking his work and wanting to read more of it. I haven't read a lot of Mark Waid, but I will give him a chance because of how beautifully he handled Birthright. I may not read everything from Kelly Sue DeConnick and Matt Fraction, but I'll read a lot.

(And is the reason I don't like that one writer because he did so much on New 52? Or was he the perfect person to do so much on New 52 because that's just him? Because I feel guilty about not liking him.)

I also need to give credit to Christy Blanch of Ball State. I didn't love every comic that she assigned, but there were some really good things there. Many of my favorite titles in the Comixology group were because of her two classes.

That leads to something else I appreciate about this; going back and re-reading some of these titles allowed me to view them with more experienced eyes. Maybe there was something that I didn't like before, but I understood better this time why it had been done that way. It gave a greater appreciation. 

That isn't all merely having read more either. People I follow on Twitter - creators and critics - have shared their insights over time, and that has been good. I appreciate lettering now in a way I never could have on my own because of Nate Piekos (Blambot). Steve Lieber, Steve Morris, and Brett White have all been influences. I like having a deeper understanding.

I mean, I am not at the point where I will be writing academic papers to submit to the International Comic Arts Forum yet. I don't even think I will be able to attend this year (though I had been hoping). It is still pretty cool to look back and to have read so many great comics and good comics and to even have a sense of accomplishment getting through so many indifferent comics.

It's even better that there is still so much more waiting. It's not just the "Definitely" and "Possibly" comics, though that would be plenty. It's also the 33 books that I have down because I read a positive review, or that seem important to comic history, or for some other reason I have thought, "I should read that".

It is also the four studios and the fifteen creators that I want to check out because they are local or well-regarded or I went to college with them.

It is also the handful of comic characters where I may not know of specific arcs to check out, but where I do want to check something out. Maybe that is just because someone else is passionate about them (like Steve Morris about Dark Star). It's reason enough to read more comics.

Plus, soon I will be reading  Native Americans in Comic Books: A Critical Study by Michael A. Sheyahshe, and seeing where that takes me.

Finally, there are all the things that I don't know about yet, or even know how I am going to find out about them yet, there are books that haven't even been written yet, but that will still be awesome when I get there.

All of which is really just to say that I like comics.

But it should mainly be trades for a while, so if any of my Goodreads connections were irritated with the frequency of my updates while I was going through so many single issues, that should be better now.

Related posts:

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2017/08/comics-catch-up-dark-horse.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2017/01/a-year-for-comics.html

Band Review: Black Magic Beauty Pageant

Black Magic Beauty Pageant is an alternative band from Nashville.

With only a three track EP to go on, I like them quite a bit.

There's a fair amount of fuzz that reminds me of DIY recordings from my college days. Some hints of The Smiths and The Cure don't exactly hurt that impression, though this band is not nearly as melancholy.

"Mission Hills" is probably my favorite, but one can easily check out the entire EP on Soundcloud or Bandcamp, and should be better off for it.

https://www.facebook.com/blackmagicbeautypageant/

https://soundcloud.com/user-597719282

https://blackmagicbeautypageant.bandcamp.com/releases

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCe9F5TqMmcEqVz8arkXujiA

https://twitter.com/BMBPMusic

Band Review: Nick Ray

If you like electronic embellishment but think that full on trap is too much, Nick Ray is probably a good compromise. An alternative electronic rock musician from New Orleans, Ray's tracks have more form and rock elements than straight EDM.

There is nothing terrible about his music, and I would have been much more annoyed reviewing a straight EDM band. I realize this is damning with faint praise, but sometimes even when I don't particularly like the music things stand out that are interesting. Or sometimes things stand out that I hate, but at least writing about what makes me hate it can be interesting.

This is a boring, lukewarm review that feels like a failure on my part, but it also kind of feels appropriate based on my listening experience.

Your mileage may vary.

https://www.facebook.com/nickraymusic/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHl1E9beO6Am6L1fOodg4IA

https://twitter.com/NickRayNola

The optimistic future

In recent synchronicity, I find I am not the only one recently watching older science fiction films and I am not the only one looking for hope in the future:

https://www.tor.com/2017/10/03/this-future-looks-familiar-watching-blade-runner-in-2017/

https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/10/3/16409194/ta-nehisi-coates-stephen-colbert

In some of the conversation about the second article, the necessity and usefulness of hope was questioned a little ("evidence of an immature mind", in one tweet), which led me to feel that my own writings might be hopelessly naive and juvenile.

I'm still going to finish this sequence.

There are two things that make me hopeful for the future of the Citadel in Fury Road. They are both radical in their own right. First, they decide to repair the place that they have, and make it a good home, rather than keep running to find something new. People of Earth, this is our best option. Take note.

Also, I think they have a chance because of the example brought to them by the Vuvulini. Small things show them to be a caring and cooperative society, like the way they greet Furiosa, and the bike for Max whether he accompanies them or not. Beyond that, when the escaped brides are fighting off Nux they are also attempting to educate him and acknowledging his own lack of choice. I don't know if they got that from Furiosa, or it came naturally to them, but here are women who choose to uplift instead of put down. They want freedom for themselves, but they have not defined that as sovereignty over others. If they can impart that to the others, this can work.

Science fiction is not my primary interest - for viewing or reading - but I do know of at least one property that imagines a non-dystopian future: Star Trek.

(One bit of parenthetical pedantry: I think Star Wars belongs in the realm of fantasy. Even the opening lines - "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away" - make it sound like a fairy tale. It may have been trying to get there with the late addition of midichlorians, but the presence of space ships does not make it science fiction.)

I would not have thought about the optimism of Star Trek on my own. That came from Paul Krugman, though he was largely influenced by Manu Saadia, the author of Trekonomics: The Economics of Star Trek.

https://www.marketplace.org/2016/09/07/world/economist-paul-krugman-ponders-sci-fi-economics-star-trek

The part that was most fascinating to me was the parallel drawn between Star Trek's creation and The Great Society. In a culture that (however flawed) was actively working on strengthening civil rights and eliminating poverty, of course they could imagine a hopeful future. They could see a future that was not defined by oppression and misery because they were trying to build it.

Instead of going full throttle on that, we have ended up in the second Gilded Age. We even had the collapse of 2008 to show us how dangerous the growing economic inequality was, but any measures against that were fought tooth and nail. They promoted inequality via racism until they finally elected someone who literally owns a golden toilet. Things look very grim.

If there is any hope, it will come from love, and cooperation. It will not come without equality. There's a lot to dissect about how things happened and how things can work and even if they can work now. They're pretty entrenched. But I long for equality and I long for better days so I won't give up.

I nonetheless whole-heartedly agree that people of color do not owe consolation to anyone, and especially that Coates does not owe it to Colbert, who has made his own contributions to the problem.

Related posts:

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2014/03/canceling-colbert.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/09/stephen-colberts-writing-staff-17-men-2-women/404944/

The pessimistic future

I don't have enough desire to be sure that I'm right to make me watch all the Gibson Mad Max movies, but I have seen quite of bit of Beyond Thunder Dome on television. The ending reminded me of something that I read in a review.

It focused on Max being the loner hero, always left behind. In the third movie he sacrificed himself to let the others get away, and it sounds like that was the case in the second film as well. That made some things really interesting about Fury Road that we will explore today and tomorrow.

This also brings us back to Elysium.

(Since Matt Damon's character was also named Max, we are just going to refer to him as Matt Damon.)

Matt Damon did not need to die because of the radiation poisoning - the capabilities of their healing technologies were more than adequate. When he stole the brain data from Carlyle, there was a protection mode that meant retrieving the data would kill him.

The way the machines repaired a blown apart Kruger strained credulity far more than the idea that DNA level repairs could restore a damaged brain. The protection itself wasn't very logical; wouldn't it make more sense to kill the person while they are mining your brain, rather than after they have done so?

Instead, I think his death satisfies a belief that you can't have this great good - healing a dystopian future - without a sacrifice from someone else. Someone won't be able to enjoy it.

It could be a religious in nature, with messianic symbolism, though Christ's death wasn't permanent. Still, Matt Damon was raised by nuns, one of whom told him he would do something wonderful. That could have been a way they were going. That Matt Damon could go from only wanting this for selfish reasons to choosing to sacrifice was important character growth; he just wasn't going to have the opportunity to see what life was like as a person who cares about others.

I think more to the point is that science fiction reflects the time period in which it is written. If writers keep inventing dystopia, and even imagining a way to overcome that dystopia means that the hero does not get to enjoy it, what does that say about our times?

The things that can allow us to be optimistic will take up more of tomorrow's post, but one of the most fascinating things about Fury Road  for me was that Max was not left behind, though he did still choose to walk away.

At first it made me wonder whether he was just too damaged to be able to deal with a tranquil life. There were signs of him having PTSD before. While he seemed to make some progress, it can be very hard to make the transition from a life of violence to one of peace.

I think The Hurt Locker explores that as well, but I don't know that it has answers. Dave Grossman comes close to some answers, but seems to have become too enamored with war to help anymore. Therefore, the best hope I have seen comes from Navajo ceremonies that were used to help Chester Nez deal with his WWII experiences. We should be looking more into that.

In addition, the trope wasn't entirely abandoned because Nux essentially took Max's place - sacrificing himself so that the others could get through. There's a part of me that wonders if the only purpose for his character was so that someone could still be that loner hero who doesn't get to see the happy ending.

There are many things that I don't know how to solve. I still believe solutions are possible, but it will require not only belief, but desire. If we can want good things for everyone - happiness, satisfaction, actualization - we can find ways.

If we stay mired only seeing others as people we need to get ahead of, then no, there is no reason to believe we can do better.

I watch science fiction, part 2

There are going to be some spoilers here too, and this time the movie is only from 2015.

I'd heard many good things about Mad Max: Fury Road. I was interested in it from a feminist point of view, but what actually got me to watch was this, about the women who released the water:

http://www.shakesville.com/2015/05/an-observation_22.html

It is easy to miss because it is passed over so quickly. And, even though I am a fat woman, it wasn't so much that aspect as the thought of water suddenly being released and available for everyone. What would that look like? And that was also passed over pretty quickly, though it was still moving.

The villain of the piece, Immortan Joe, controlled the water. That meant that he controlled the people. For those fat women - the milking mothers - that meant that he could hook their breasts up to machines and leave them immobilized. It meant that he could control the warlords and destine them for death with a mythology of the glory it would lead to. It meant that captives could be imprisoned and  used as blood and organ donors. It meant that selected women could be kept in a harem for his breeding, hence their attempt at escape that set off the main plot.

Most of all, for people who were not useful for their beauty or lactation abilities or physical strength, it meant that they lived meager, wretched lives. At times Immortan Joe would set the water flowing, inspiring an ecstasy. It would be quickly shut off, and he would warn against them getting addicted to water. Cute. He must think he's funny.

I suppose we could learn some things from how fleeting his popularity is; when news (with proof) of his death reaches the Citadel, everyone is really happy, even before the water starts flowing. I think it's more to my purpose to talk about the hierarchy, but maybe it all goes together.

Immortan Joe exploits and abuses and is cheered to his face. There are privileged positions under him, which may inspire some additional loyalty. Both Furiosa and Nux still turn against him, perhaps at least partially motivated by the needs of others. For those ranked even lower, getting rid of him is pure joy.

I read something recently about the tradition of asking Cui bono (who benefits), because so many people have been supporting systems and candidates that don't benefit them. I'll grant that it is not the only question to ask, but it is worth asking. It can be part of a good analysis.

Under Immortan Joe, people could live, somewhat. There was still a lot of death, but there was at least some access to necessities, with possibly even luxuries depending on your rank. However, it is all in service to Joe. The brides are the cleanest, and probably get the best care in a lot of ways, but the price for that is degradation and objectification. Among their departing messages as they left, the central one was "We are not things!"

For Joe, they are all things. He might feel more partial to some of the things - mourn some, indulge some - but no one is as real as him.

That monopoly on the water benefits Joe. Does he deserve the adulation and choice? He was the one who secured the water, which may have involved some skill or ingenuity or something. The number of hostile elements in their surroundings may even require giving him some credit for building a strong military; does that justify his rule?

More science fiction for the next two posts.

Concert Review: Angélique Kidjo with the Oregon Symphony

Angélique Kidjo has an amazing voice.

Its resonance filled the hall, expressive and warm. I know that she is famous for the length of time she can hold a note. That is impressive, but it may not be useful, depending on the quality of the note. That is not a problem here. She achieved this volume without sounding hoarse or bombastic, and at first it was hard to focus on anything but my awe.

As you get used to the power, it begins to feel appropriate. The warmth of her voice and delivery coincides with the warmth of her personality. She is funny and nurturing, and it would come through in her stories and explanations even without being aware of her activism and advocacy.

Kidjo's strength and vitality would be obvious in her dancing and teasing of the audience and playfulness with the conductor. After many songs her energy only grew, sending her out into the audience.

It starts to make a certain sense that all of these qualities would manifest themselves vocally. And yet, that isn't necessarily right either, because many wonderful people cannot sing a note. Somehow in this person it works out, a voice and a heart to inspire, matched up perfectly in one gift to music.

I have been listening to some of Kidjo's recordings, and I recognize many of the songs from the performance: "Kelele", "Afirika", "Fifa". They are good, and then there were fun surprises. I was especially glad to hear her version of Boléro, "Lonlon".

But I know now that you do not get the full affect of her greatness through a recording. If you have an opportunity to hear her in person, you should grab for it.

I am grateful to my friend Karen for taking me.

http://www.kidjo.com/

https://www.facebook.com/angeliquekidjo/

https://www.youtube.com/user/angeliquekidjo

https://twitter.com/angeliquekidjo

Band Review: Young Lungs

Young Lungs is a breath of fresh air.

The indie rock band from Pittsburgh is fortunate in their lead singer. Meg Willis has an appealing voice, sounding light and young and clear. The subject matter of the songs is frequently serious, but the delivery is often upbeat, interesting, and again, fresh.

I appreciated that through their Bandcamp you can listen to acoustic versions of many of the songs, as well as the regular versions. On listening, I believe Young Lungs would be able to easily scale up or down for different venues and provide a good show.

Songs I especially enjoyed include "Fix Me" and "Battle Cry".

https://www.younglungs.net/

https://www.facebook.com/YoungLungs/

https://www.youtube.com/user/younglungsofficial

https://soundcloud.com/younglungsband

https://twitter.com/YoungLungsBAND

In case you don't see me posting for a while...

This is two really late blog posts in a row. Some of that pertains to other commitments interfering, but I can't deny that stress is a part. Also, I spent a lot of time writing the second part of me watching science fiction, but that's not what I need to say right now.

I don't know how much longer I'll have internet.

That's one of the bills that is late. I can't dial out on my cell phone anymore (sales calls still seem to come in just fine), and the mortgage is certainly the worst concern, and the calls on credit cards suck, but this has been a new level of stress.

I do worry about entertaining my mother with no cable. I try not to have her watch too much television anyway, but some is still entertaining and can give me a break. For a lack of communication by phone, well, my sisters still have cell phone and work phones, and the creditors send snail mail too, so I can work with that.

Internet, though, it would really hurt to lose that.

Even if there are things I need to submit via mail, the research to find that is generally via internet. Most submissions are via internet. Job searches and applications happen through the internet. Then they usually want to talk on the phone, which is a problem, but even getting to that point essentially requires internet.

Those are very practical concerns, but there are other pangs that are more personal.

Every day I wish people a happy birthday as appropriate, I do a song of the day, and I do a blog post. The birthdays are really just as dictated by Facebook, but I care about it. For the songs, I am starting to get close to the end of the songs from Nothing Feels Good. I want to finish that, and there are so many reviewed artists piling up while I have been doing that. There are songs for a long time.

For the blog, well, I was going to hit 500 bands reviewed earlier than I meant to, and a little break would change that, but that isn't the only option; there are some previously reviewed bands with new material.

For me, there is a sense of accomplishment there. No matter what else I do wrong or badly or can't solve, I consistently produce content that combines mind and heart. That means something to me. The songs and blog posts are often connected to something I am learning or studying, and that matters to me.

Speaking of learning, I had a mild panic about using the library site to request books, so requested five. I was going to spread them out more, some of them being quite lengthy. That would make more sense, but panic.

Speaking of libraries, I know that many people access the internet there. That would require two bus fares and bringing my mother with me. It's not practical for daily use.

I know the sense of connection that comes through internet contact can be somewhat illusory, but it has been meaningful for me. It would be isolating. I would be very sad.

And for all of that, I still can't deny that other people have it much worse. I guess that might be one comfort; if we lose internet and television I won't be seeing any news. That would remove one source of stress. It would just take away a lot of the good things too.

So, that's my venting for now. Things remain difficult. I don't believe we will end up homeless or starve, but there is a lot of room between here and there for much to go wrong, and much suffering. Here you have my cri de coeur, and also my explanation if I suddenly stop posting.

I have said before that if I quit with these posts, then I've given up - that my continuing to do these little things no matter what calamity is happening that day is my way of not having my life dictated by calamity. Someone might remember that in the event of a lack of posts, and think I have finally surrendered to the darkness, and am fighting no more.

That's not completely impossible either, but it's not the only possibility. Just so you know.

I watch science fiction, part 1

It looks like the immediate danger for Graham-Cassidy is over. I suspect that's temporary, so some of the other things I wanted to say about it can keep. For now, let's talk about movies.

In the fairly recent past I have watched Elysium and Mad Max: Fury Road. There were some similarities.

Both came from the library. They were both rated R, which made me a little less likely to see them. I decided to watch both of them anyway based on things that were said regarding them on Twitter.

With Elysium, what I saw was a question of why they wouldn't just share the medical technology. The answer seemed pretty obvious, but I like to be thorough. That's why I decided to watch the movie.

A brief synopsis follows. While you might think that movies from 2013 should be past spoiler alerts, I nonetheless affirm that there will be spoilers.

In a dusty miserable Earth jobs are scarce, crime is high, and there appear to be plenty of orphans. But that's just below; above is a beautiful space station where everything is clean and high-tech and there are scanners all over the place that repair damage to your body on a DNA level. Everything can be cured. However, they don't work if you are not a citizen of Elysium. None of the people living in terrible conditions on Earth are citizens.

There is a black market for cars, but even more there is a black market for getting your citizenship hacked and getting up to Elysium for healing. Elysium is very against these huddled masses, so much so that a ship full of them is shot down early in the film.

Matt Damon is Max, a grown-up orphan who gets an arm injury that makes losing his job a risk. That could mean going back to jail. Instead he works injured, but the lack of full abilities leads to a jam, and the evil mid-level manager insists on Max going in to clear the jam. (The future is terrible.) This results in Max getting a blast of deadly radiation where he only has a few days to live. He could get healed on Elysium. He works with some black market contacts and they get a hack that makes everyone citizens, and medical ships immediately begin transport to Earth to let the healing begin. (But not for Max, who died a hero.)

Obviously I oversimplified that. I believe the main criticism of the film was that it was predictable. It did stick to some tropes, especially tiresome in the case of Sharlto Copley's character. Still, there was some great casting, a nice contract with the sleekness of Elysium and the opposite on Earth, and I found the ending genuinely moving.

The big surprise for me was when they dispatched the medical ships. It was beautiful, and beautiful to see the excited masses approaching for treatment, but if you don't even need to let everybody on the ship, why not share?

And that part still felt like the truest thing about the movie.

We don't have medical technology quite that good, but we can still do some pretty good things, and we still have a bunch of people trying their hardest to cut off access. Why?

Greetings from the dystopian present.

Mormons should be fighting Graham-Cassidy

Bold title, I know. After all, we're not supposed to be political.

Except that's bull. For every time that they remind us over the pulpit that the church does not endorse any political candidate or party, we still end up with a lot of members who are sure that their political and religious beliefs are inextricably linked. Making a connection is not unreasonable.

So, if your faith in eternal families leads you to value children, and want to have children, you should be against Graham-Cassidy.

Under Graham-Cassidy, insurers can charge an additional $17000 in annual premiums. That's if they cover it, because they would not be required to offer pregnancy, maternity, and newborn care. The Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) was the first time insurers were required to cover maternity care. Insurers may cover more than required, but the balking at fairly basic requirements isn't assuring.

Maybe you can decide that following the Word of Wisdom will protect you from a lot of things. If you are not only not smoking but also eating lots of grains and fruits in season, that should decrease your risk of cancer, making you unlikely to be affected by $142650 premium increase for those with metastatic cancer.

It does help, but off the top of my head I'm remembering some really good members whose cancer did metastasize. Eventually it killed them, so I guess they didn't need coverage after that, but it took a while.

Maybe you can consider many afflictions to be God's will, and best borne patiently. Maybe you put a lot of stock in essential oils. Maybe you find it completely possible to ignore any problem that is not affecting you specifically, though that's a strange thing to pull from the scriptures.

Regardless, even if you can manage to not care about any other health issue, there is a good chance that you are going to have kids, or you have already and someday they will have kids, or that someone you care about will have kids; how many of them can afford an extra $17000 per year for the privilege?

Maybe you think that can be gotten around with midwives. That can work out, but a lot of these pregnancies are older, too. Isn't it better to have medical care available and affordable? Doesn't that make sense?

And if you are living in some of the more densely populated LDS areas, your calling now will mean more than anything I can do. My hippie-liberal senators and representative would not support Graham-Cassidy if I called them up and asked them too. Orrin Hatch, on the other hand, could benefit from having constituents call and ask him to vote against it.

https://callyourrep.co/

https://5calls.org/

For that segment of members who don't like that the ACA covers vaccinations, I'm sorry, please do this for the greater good.

For any who feel left out because you are not a Mormon, also sorry -- it just felt like something that needed to be said. For what it's worth, I believe similar reasoning should apply to many fundamentalist Christians as well.

Band Review: Mayhem & Me

Without at all intending it, for the second day in a row we have a band from Hobart, Tasmania.

Mayhem & Me self-describes as alternative/ dark folk.

There is a definite sense of unease working itself through the songs, especially on "Ribs". This darkness does not present as evil or aggressive, but more an acknowledgment of being besieged by a hostile world.

Music made in reaction to that can become elevating, almost purifying, like "Holy Moses". The guitar strongly forces its way forward, rising above. That same guitar can be a menacing current moving underneath on "Look Before You Leap", perhaps underscoring the importance of that look.

All of that is strongly accentuated by the eerie inflection given to the vocals. I think fans of Siouxsie Sioux could appreciate Mayhem & Me. Also, maybe fans of The Cult.

https://mayhemme.bandcamp.com/album/mayhem-me

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_zHaV84DZuAelzWNHvMG8A

https://twitter.com/mayhem_and_me

Band Review: The Silverbeets

The Silverbeets are a band from Hobart, Tasmania.

Working mainly in the genre of indie/alternative rock, I get a strong sense of nostalgia in listening. The title of "We've Got a Groovy Thing Goin' " indicates that it may be intentional.

I can't swear that there's a Theremin in the accompaniment for "Does Not Equal Ten"; it's more likely that there isn't. There is still a rather experimental sound to it, summoning up how we looked to the future in the past. I think The Byrds would like what The Silverbeets are doing.

I am interested in the kind of New Age elements of "Passenger Side". About half of the songs are more that way, with the other half being more groovy. There are some thoughtful lyrics.

The Silverbeets do not appear to have their own Youtube channel at this time, but you can find a couple of performances by searching on their name.

http://thesilverbeets.com/

https://thesilverbeets.bandcamp.com/

https://www.facebook.com/TheSilverbeets/

https://twitter.com/TheSilverbeets

Farther along, but there are others

There was one other thing that helped me be okay with myself, body and spirit combined.

It was a gathering of people from high school. While there were multiple good interactions, the most important one was someone I was in love with through most of high school and my first year of college. I hadn't seen him for about twenty years. He was so happy to see me.

I was just hoping he wouldn't be unhappy to see me. I have been this way with everyone, torn between thinking they wouldn't remember me, they would remember me being annoying, or they would find me annoying now. I have gotten through that many times, but because of my feelings for this one person, it was a lot more pressure. He was so happy to see me.

When people enjoy my company now I can sometimes think it's due to some of the growth and maturation that came over time. The last time he saw me, I was still that immature girl, fat and believing that it ruled out boys ever liking me, disowned by my father and in denial about how badly that was affecting me, sometimes prickly as I tried to shield myself emotionally from all of that, and rather socially awkward. Yes, I was also a kind and smart and supportive back then, but still a bit of a wreck, you know? That's the girl he knew, and he was delighted to see her. A lot of other work has gone into this level of self-acceptance, but that was a huge boost.

I am also pretty sure that it was having this positive experience with the first boy I loved that led me to look up the second.

I have searched at random times before, but this was the first time I had found anything recent; he had made some videos and posted them on Youtube. This was not surprising because he was always a creative person. It was disappointing.

The videos were poorly thought out and executed. That could have worked if they were playful. There was an underlying bitterness, and antipathy toward the audience. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. My heart used to leap when I saw him; here it just sunk.

If he were a stranger and I stumbled across the videos, I would have thought they were stupid and weird and moved on, but I remember when he was different. I remember him as someone goal-oriented and focused who would have put more thought into something he was filming. I remember that focus as also applying to people, where when you were talking to him you felt like there was no one else in the world, but he did that for everyone because he did care about people. I don't remember him ever being very funny, but he was definitely more pleasant. I remember him being charismatic.

It has been a long time for us too, but there were some signs of a growing bitterness back then. I guess the bitterness won, but I think it came from losing. It came from setbacks and trying to make things happen and them not working out. I'm really sorry about that. There is some relief in being sure I am over him, but it shouldn't be because of this.

Society tells women they have to be beautiful, and part of the insidiousness is that the standards keep moving, changing to something less attainable. There is a different pressure on men, but it is still destructive. That is more true as their targets keep moving, and at a time when even the old targets are becoming harder to meet.

We are going to spend more time on toxic masculinity. I don't know if it will be next week. I might have to spend some time on health care.

Bucking the system

A recurrent theme has been how different books interact with my learning and thinking. We're going to have some more of that today.

I read The Zookeeper's Wife (by Diane Ackerman) because we went to see the movie. That happened because we saw a trailer for it before A United Kingdom and thought it looked good. We then heard nothing about the film until we remembered to look and found it was playing at the second-run theater, so saw it a bit later than we might have otherwise. Seeing there was a book, we requested it from the library, where there were many holds. This happens with books that inspire movies even when they seem to be flying under the radar. That is why I did not read it until the end of August.

I read it a month after reading The Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt, which meant that when I read that Antonina was orphaned during the early days of the Russian Revolution, I was familiar with the Bolsheviks killing the Poles resident in Russia. I can't tell you now whether that was actually in the book, or if it was something I encountered when trying to sort out the Intelligenzaktion when Nazis were killing the Polish elites and the Katyn massacre, when Soviets were killing Polish officers and intelligentsia. Nationalists and Communists are supposed to be opposite, but then when you are reading about them there are so many mass killings that it can be hard to keep them straight.

I read The Zookeeper's Wife not long before Hunger and not really that long after Beauty Sick, which may have made the part about the rations stand out more.

During the German occupation of Poland, there were daily calorie allotments. In 1941, that was 2613 for a German, 699 for a Pole, and 184 for Jews. That was in the book, but in other sources too. Ackerman phrased it as something like "The only thing required of you is to disappear."

As much worse as it was for the Jews, you can see the Poles weren't highly valued either. They would have eventually been intended for extermination too, but I suppose the difficulty is that you can't gas everyone at once or shoot everyone at once. Logistically you can't bury everyone that quickly, but if you transport some, and crowd some into bad conditions where some will die on their own until there is room in the camps for the rest, and then once all the Jews are gone you start on the Poles, and hey, there is a logic behind it. Incidentally, this is why it is reasonable to assume someone identifying with Nazis is a bad person.

But that's not what I'm writing about today.

Today I writing about how many girls have put themselves on rations like the Nazis put on the Jews.

I know there is a sickness involved in taking on the level of self-infliction, but that sickness is in keeping with the demands of a society that doesn't value women. When the standard of beauty is always smaller -- more delicate, easier to look around, easier to push aside -- that is not a society that values women.

I tried to imagine a society where the beauty standards favored greater health and heartiness, and it just wouldn't happen. As long as we have a society where someone has to be on top and power is important and classifications like gender and color affect the balance of power, then having a beauty standard that is literally diminishing is completely logical.

Not everyone gets a diagnosable psychological disorder from it, but it creates a lot of unhappiness for the well, too. Frankly, under this kind of order the diagnostics become harder. That is how you end up with a diagnosis like EDNOS - eating disorder not otherwise specified - not specifically adhering to previously understood disorders, but still seriously ill. But that compulsion to be less would not run nearly so deep if there weren't already so many reminders, and so many people invested in maintaining that a woman is already less.

That is why our feminism needs to be intersectional. We will not resolve any of the bigotries until we quit needing to push down someone else to feel good about ourselves. There are probably going to be many, many posts revolving around that.

For today, just know that if a system requires you to be less, you need to buck that system.