Why are you even here?

There were circumstances that made our trip a little harder and sadder, but we were still doing okay, especially compared to some. 

We took a long ride on the Disneyland Railroad on our last day in the park.

This gave us more time that we would have chosen to spend listening to one woman tell her companion all about how Disneyland isn't that great.

Yes, I slip into eavesdropping easily, but they were right behind us and she was not trying to be at all discreet.

I hadn't really been paying attention, but then she started talking about how the food should be the best thing you've ever eaten and it isn't even cooked there.

That caught my interest. More restaurants (Cracker Barrel and Cheesecake Factory come to mind) have not been cooking on site -- only heating -- and it has affected quality. I have also noticed these carts being transported through the park that I believe is food for the restaurants. Given the space in some locations, I can totally believe that there is prep work that happens elsewhere. That doesn't necessarily mean that it is frozen and then shipped in the park, but okay, there may be a point.

I also think the food is pretty good. There will be a post on the travel blog about not chasing holiday menus, but still, even if the giant pretzel was not the best pretzel I have ever eaten, it wasn't bad, and the prime rib with creamy horseradish sauce was delicious!

She said how they have Dole Whip all year round so maybe they take it for granted but if you are from Kansas then it's impressive.  

That just sounded snobby. 

There were two other things that helped fill out my impression. One was that she started talking about EPCOT and how that's what she would find more interesting. Her companion asked about all of the flags, which sounded like a question about the World Showcase (I have never been to DisneyWorld).

The snooty one kind of ignored that question and started talking about the geodesic dome and EPCOT inspired Celebration... that's fine, but that's not what you were asked.

Then, as we were getting into Tomorrowland, the other woman asked what was there. Debbie Downer answered "The Monorail."

Yes, the Monorail is in Tomorrowland, but there is also Star Tours, Space Mountain, Autopia, the Finding Nemo submarine voyage, Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters and the Astro Orbiter. Her companion was apparently an older woman so maybe some of those rides seemed like too much for her, but still that is not an impressive answer.

I concede that the Monorail would be the experience most similar to riding the train, but it brought her expertise into question.

The impression that I got was that this is someone who -- by virtue of living nearby -- becomes the Disney guide for friends and family visiting. She does it, but she doesn't really enjoy it so she is overly dismissive of it.

I'd say "Whatever floats your boat," but what a drag for the people she guides. The advice is faulty and then maybe you feel bad and unsophisticated because you thought the pretzel was tasty and were excited to find Dole Whip.

The other part of that, though, is that there is such an attitude of superiority and expertise that is not being backed up. If you must take people to Disney and you want to sound smart, have at least some of the information be helpful in context, not merely about how other things are better. 

At the time it was annoying; in retrospect it was sad.

I have friends who are subject to motion sickness who don't particularly enjoy theme parks. They do other things.

There are also people who go there not for the rides but for the music and displays and to be around happy people. The last time I took my mother, we did not ride many rides but she was still happy and stimulated and I am glad that we went.  

Lady, all around you there are people having a good time. No, they are not having perfect times, and I am sure there are some other people dismissing it like you. For the most part, though, there are people enjoying themselves, maybe even feeling lucky to be there. 

If you tried that, you might even enjoy it. 

Chainsaws

In my review of Universal Studio's Halloween Horror Nights, I mention chainsaws a lot. Some characters had weapons specific to their movies, but the vast majority of the weapons were chainsaws.

(Also, when you were not in any specifically themed haunted house, the main threats -- so the main holders of the chainsaws -- were clowns.)

I was not scared, but I did not particularly enjoy this. That being said, I totally get the value of the chainsaws.

Besides evoking The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, they vibrated. Obviously they were fake and were not going to cut you, but there was real sound and vibration. When one hit my purse, I felt the vibration through that. (Touching things on you appears to be a loophole around not being able to touch you.)

For striking that important balance between real and not real, where people can enjoy suspending disbelief, those chainsaws were probably in the sweet spot.

My sweet spot is analyzing things like that.

Many years ago I wrote about a year where I went through a lot of haunted houses and really enjoyed it. I was wondering why they don't appeal to me now.

I suppose part of the issue is just that it's harder to be scary.

One reason we thought going to Universal for Halloween would be cool is that they were the home of the classic monsters and their movies: Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Creature From the Black Lagoon, and even King Kong. For the other side of it, the Munsters' house is still there, though it looks more like a regular house now.

None of that was featured. There is still a 3-D attraction with King Kong, but that stuff is corny and not scary. I get it.

If you ask me about my horror preferences, I may mention that scene where the playground is filling up with crows from The Birds for the growing dread. I am more likely to mention this old cable movie from 1988, Gotham or The Dead Can't Lie. It probably doesn't really count at horror.

It is listed as a "thriller", though I am not sure that is representative. It is a ghost story, just not in the way you expect.

I suppose what I like about it, besides some really beautiful moments, is that the people who are trying to do right end up being okay. Things aren't great for the people who are horrible.

I know happy endings aren't always realistic, but there is this flip side where people will get a kick of how twisted and ugly they can make things. I care about that for reality, and learning more about things to try and fix them, but I don't find it amusing.

I know there are people who love horror films and people who love haunted houses. I am sure there is some overlap between those groups, but I am not in them. 

I finally figured out that when I was enjoying haunted houses, it was because I was figuring them out. This is how they work, this is what would make an ideal group for going... things like that. I even toyed with the idea of designing one, maybe focusing on creepiness instead of fear, because fear can be so difficult to create in these cynical times.

Nonetheless, I got the hang of it, and once that was done it not really being to my taste became more insurmountable. Now it is just kind of annoying, especially because scaring you is their job, so if you don't seem into it they pay more attention to you and...

So another thing that I have tried and don't really care for is interactive theater.  

I do like speed and movement, so once I got over my fear of going upside down on roller coasters, I kept on riding them.  

I still sometimes worry about my glasses flying off. It's never happened, but sometimes I put a hand up to my glasses before the loop, and I think maybe I should just get an eyewear strap. 

I am glad for that year where I went through all the haunted houses; trying new things is valuable. 

Not everything sticks. 

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2006/10/spooky-spork.html  

Old bag with extra baggage

This was a hard vacation.

I still had a good time and I don't regret going, but it was hard.

Some of that was kind of expected. We were going at a time that would be more crowded and hotter -- not our favorite things -- because we wanted to try something new. Trying out new things is important to me. 

As I wrote about last week, there was also some recent bad news about Mom. That wasn't a big change, but it put a damper on things. 

Also, a really big part of it was that I fell my first day in Disneyland.

It happened really early, too. As usual, we started in Adventureland, going into the Enchanted Tiki Room and riding the Jungle Cruise. Indiana Jones was either down or had a long line -- we thought we'd get back to that later -- but there was still the original Swiss Family Robinson Tree House. It had became the much taller and steeper Tarzan Tree House. Now it was partially restored to the Swiss Family Robinson, but still pretty tall and steep. 

At the highest point, I missed a step and fell down. 

It could have been much worse. I was near a set of stairs and did not go down them or over the railings or... yeah, it could have been worse.

However, I did scrape my elbow and hit my knee and pulled between my neck and shoulder. 

There was some pain around my heel for a while, like maybe I bruised it, but that cleared up pretty quickly. 

I had a lot of muscle ache in my thighs too. They didn't really hit, but I think I was bracing myself tightly to not go down the stairs. I understand the philosophy of relaxing your body when you fall, but I don't seem to be capable of doing it.

That was Monday last week. Currently there is only a little bit of thigh pain, and (on a more graphic note) the scabbing on my elbow is being replaced with red new skin that will eventually turn into regular skin. My knee keeps popping, which is annoying but does not appreciably hold me back.

The neck and shoulder thing is still a problem; soft tissue injuries linger.

While I am on my way to healing now and will survive, it did affect my time in the park. Getting up and down is a big part of riding rides, and I was not doing it so well. I use my thighs a lot for that. Since they were hurting I would normally do some extra bracing with my arm (where touching down the elbow stung) or shoulders (which hurt worse than the sting). 

One thing I had also looked forward to there was trying the Boo-nuelito from La Tiendita in Downtown Disney. We went there, and as I pulled it out of the bag to take a picture, it crumbled onto the ground. 

My sisters paid for most of the trip, but that was one of the things I bought for myself.

I had been having more moments of sadness welling up in me since the phone call about Mom. Now there were more and they were mixed with some physical pain and even more emotional pain about being stupid and clumsy and not able to do very simple things right.

I did not at any point actually burst into tears, but it was an option. I did have a judgmental old white man looking at me in the tree house, I think debating about whether he would have to help pick up the fat clod. There were lots of people passing by and looking at the Boo-nuelito. Really? You've never seen someone drop food before?

I'm just saying the trip had some lows.

There are things that won't be replicated. We aren't likely to go at such a hot and crowded time again. I'd like to think that I won't fall again, but I will only get older, and probably more tired.

I can hope that there won't be another trip where I start out that sad, but there is going to be more sadness accumulated, even if there is also more cumulative joy and the sadness won't always be that fresh.

That gave me a few thoughts.

I am glad for all of the other trips. I am grateful that I have been to Disneyland on trips where I rode every single ride and for that one time where I rode the Matterhorn three times in a row and it was easy to do it.

Even though there was sadness and frustration with it, I am glad for that trip with Mom a few years ago where she could still enjoy some of it. I'm glad for that trip in 1996 that we needed so badly. 

Disneyland is pretty great on its own, but we have an emotional attachment to it built around lots of memories. 

I am grateful that as beat up as I was this time around, I did get to go on both of the new rides. Anything I missed this trip, I have done before and I hope will do again.

I am grateful that my sisters do bring me along, even though I don't have much to contribute financially right now. 

It makes me sad how there is a prevailing thought, especially for poorer people, to put all of that off for retirement. Even assuming that they actually do have some savings and are still alive at that point -- which is not guaranteed -- they will not have the energy and strength of youth. 

I mean, I have hated economic inequality for a long time, but the things that we keep feel comfortable telling people that they have to do, when the only reason it's that way is so some people have more than they could possibly even use... that's just sick. 

Doing that for food and health care and education is wrong, but you know, vacations are important too. 

We all need downtime and happy memories sometimes, even with their imperfections. 

Hispanic Heritage Month 2025 articles

This month of articles was beset by many complications; perhaps that was inevitable.

First of all, I have never really loved the name "Hispanic Heritage", but it has been hard finding a good alternative.

It is a month that stretches over two months, going from September 15th to October 15th, starting with a date important to the Mexican War of Independence and going up against Columbus Day turned Indigenous Peoples Day, which gets into some of the complication with the name... that this is a different month from Native American Heritage month is because it comes from a different flavor of colonialism.

Then, does celebrating the heritage include those who were in the countries before they came, or focus on those who have been in the US? 

Also, there were going to be two different trips interrupting the flow. I had hoped I would be able to post from the road, but that didn't work out, so four of these articles haven't been posted yet.

It was always going to be complicated. 

Since I was putting off getting to reading authors who influenced Sandra Cisneros again, I thought I would at least find information about those authors. About half of my names come from that reading list, a few from other things that I have read, and then there was another significant source of names:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/politics/government/sim%C3%B3n-bol%C3%ADvar-dead-nearly-200-years-rallies-venezuelans-against-u-s/ar-AA1M6srU?ocid=BingNewsSerp

It was great to learn about some other historical figures.

Some of them would have been harder to learn about without this article getting me started, because when I looked for information on two of them, all I could find in English was the Wikipedia articles.

You can argue about whether it is appropriate to have various people who were peaceful calling for arms, and I actively criticize the use of AI.

It is a little disturbing that this is happening because Venezuela is being threatened by the US. While I am not sure their responses are great, I am sure US actions are not good.

But it's not the time to quit celebrating heritage and awareness months. 

While I had determined that -- whatever complications and interruptions there were -- I would not post fewer than 30 articles, the final number ends up being 36. 

(Fortunately, they will still all be posted before November starts.) 

9/15 ASCO: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/chicano-art-asco-garcia-bernal-diego-luna-documentary-rcna198356

9/16 https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-indigenous-woman-behind-south-america-s-biggest-male-chefs

9/17 Maria Firmina dos Rais: https://artsandculture.google.com/story/2wXh3XP8yVszXg

9/18 Victoria Santa Cruz: https://www.aaihs.org/remembering-victoria-santa-cruz-a-global-life/

9/19 Rebelde https://www.nylon.com/entertainment/rebelde-rbd-tour-2023-mexico-pop-legacy

9/20 Pura Belpré: https://www.nypl.org/blog/2019/09/20/pura-belpre

9/21 Tomás Rivera: https://www.texasstandard.org/stories/tomas-rivera-legacy-uc-riverside-utsa/

9/22 Sor Juana Inez De La Cruz: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/sor-juana

9/23 Norma Alarcon: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norma_Alarc%C3%B3n

https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-norma-alarcon-a-writer-and-professor-in-need

9/24 Gloria Anzaldúa: https://www.byarcadia.org/post/embodied-activism-gloria-anzaldua-s-journey-through-racial-discrimination

-- vacation --

9/29 Luis Valdez and El Teatro Campesino: https://www.americantheatre.org/2016/11/21/el-teatros-living-legacy/

9/30 Cherrie Moraga: https://www.kqed.org/news/11946371/writer-and-activist-cherrie-moraga-on-her-mixed-blood-chicana-heritage-skin-privilege-and-embracing-discomfort

10/1 Maya Gonzalez: https://quietlightning.org/columns/the-write-stuff/maya-gonzalez/

10/2 Humberto Fernández-Morán: https://thecostaricanews.com/humberto-fernandez-moran-memorable-latin-american-scientific-citizen-world/

10/3 Elena Poniatowska: https://blogs.loc.gov/international-collections/2023/10/writing-until-her-last-day-mexican-writer-elena-poniatowska-at-91-loclr-blogint/

10/4 Marjorie Agosin: https://magazine.wellesley.edu/issues/summer-2025/in-memoriam-marjorie-agos%C3%ADn

10/5 Francisco de Miranda: https://culturacolectiva.com/en/history/francisco-de-miranda-brief-biography/

10/6 Ana María Campos: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ana_Mar%C3%ADa_Campos

10/7 Cesar Chavez: https://www.npr.org/2016/08/02/488428577/cesar-chavez-the-life-behind-a-legacy-of-farm-labor-rights

10/8 Aquiles Nazoa: https://globalvoices.org/2008/05/27/venezuela-the-poet-who-enjoyed-the-simple-things-in-life/

10/9 Alí Primera: https://ourmindonmusic.wordpress.com/2025/01/11/ali-primera-the-peoples-singer-of-venezuela/

10/10 José Gregorio Hernández: https://aleteia.org/2025/02/25/doctor-of-science-faith-alliance-to-be-canonized/

10/11 Elena Garro: https://www.themodernnovel.org/americas/latin-america/mexico/garro/

10/12 Rosario Castellanos: https://www.literaryladiesguide.com/classic-women-authors-poetry/8-poems-by-rosario-castellanos/

10/13 Carla Trujillo: https://minds.wisconsin.edu/handle/1793/83980

10/14 Diana Solis: https://www.3arts.org/projects/luz/

10/15 Sandra Maria Esteves: https://en.enciclopediapr.org/content/sandra-maria-esteves/

10/16 Simon Bolivar: https://www.history.com/articles/simon-bolivar-liberator-south-america-venezuela

10/17 Diane Gomez: https://windycitytimes.com/2023/05/18/passages-chicago-cultural-and-music-advocate-poet-educator-diane-gomez/

10/18 Salima Rivera: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/articles/162018/i-am-a-contradiction-on-the-poetry-of-salima-rivera

-- vacation --

10/23 Margarita Lopez: https://outhistory.org/exhibits/show/out-and-elected/1995/margarita-lopez

10/24 Beatriz Badikian: https://latinamericanliteraturetoday.org/2020/02/a-necessary-evil-my-lovehate-relationship-translation-beatriz-badikiangartler/

*10/25 Maria Carmen Abrego: https://mabregowordpress.wordpress.com/

*10/26 Denise Chavez: https://www.lascrucesbulletin.com/stories/author-and-bookstore-owner-denise-chvez-declared-to-the-universe-she-would-write,119843

*10/27 Helena Viramontes: https://asterixjournal.com/conversation-helena-maria-viramontes/

*10/28 Guaicaipuro: https://godsandmonsters.info/guaicaipuro/

This is sadness

Generally, when we get calls about our mother -- whether from the care facility or her medical providers -- they call the landline. They all have my cell, but I don't always hear that. When I am home, I definitely hear the landline, and my heart jumps.

As often as it is reminders about prescriptions, live people trying to interest me in solar, or recordings about updating my Google business page (I do not have one), it could be something about Mom. If my sisters are also home, our hearts jump together.

The last two calls were telling us that she appears to have entered end of life and asking about admitting her to hospice.

The heart jump was right that time.

And then it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

Entering "end of life" is not at all precise.

I have known that part, I guess since my aunt died. 

That is one of the hard absurdities of life: someone can appear fine and then be gone in an instant, and someone can seem to be at death's door and spend weeks without going inside.

Mom does not seem to be at death's door.

There were indicators that she is losing her ability to swallow, which is the end stage of Alzheimer's disease. A lot of people don't get there because something else takes them first, but not being able to swallow does get you there.

She can still swallow for now. She is on oxygen and they have her head raised when she is in bed, which seems like a good precaution.

She is less alert than she has been, but that has been progressing for a while.

If you will recall, I wrote in August that I did not expect her to survive this holiday season, because of the annual COVID outbreaks between Thanksgiving and New Year's. Then the facility had its first outbreak in September. That was a heart-stopping e-mail.

We've been dealing with this a long time, but it never gets better. 

This hurts. Even though we still aren't there, and nothing that much has changed, it hurts.

Even though there is a level at which we believe it will be better for her, and we don't really have her with us, we don't want her to go. 

It's not that we are despondent, but we do feel it.

Something we do to make each other laugh is quote lines from movies and television shows; we were doing it more aggressively after that call. We were laughing a lot, but we still knew.

We are going about our lives and getting things done, including fun things, but we know.

I see it most in my selfies. It is harder to smile now. I don't want to frown and I don't think that accurately conveys how I am feeling, but the smile that usually springs up really easily isn't now. 

That's happened before, so I know it's temporary, and it will probably happen temporarily again before we are done. 

Shortly after the call I sent out a message to my siblings. There was a reply with a typo. I know it was meant to say "This is sad news," but the "w" was missing. 

Add another "s" and that sounds about right. 

1953 through 1946 -- Daily Songs

This section went a little longer than most, but I really wanted to be done with it.

I'd said that before the advent of rock songs were a lot cornier and it was harder to find ones I liked. I had also mentioned there being more repetition.

For 1946, the first year of the Billboard Hot 35, there were two versions each of "Symphony" and "Rumors Are Flying", three versions of "The Gypsy", four versions of "Oh What It Seemed To Be", five versions of "To Each His Own". "The Old Lamplighter" was less obvious, but that's because it spread its charting across 1946 and 1947.

There was one point in my understanding of music where I was beginning to realize that a lot of the old "standards" were from musicals. That's not untrue, but it was not the whole truth.

Anyway, it's kind of a relief to be done with that and move on to other things.

This does not mean that I will not go musically back in time anymore, but it can't be through the same methods.

I might try looking up Hit Parade or other things -- there are books about music too -- but the immediate future is some Halloween-themed music that will segue into an early start to Native American Heritage month.

For these oldies, some of my thoughts were more with songs that I did not use. For example, one of the songs that came up was "I Believe", with multiple versions including by Frankie Laine in 1953. This and "High Hopes" was sometimes referenced on Laverne & Shirley. 

We watched it in the 70s, but it was set... well, there was an episode of Happy Days that was about Hawai'ian statehood, so around 1959. Okay, I guess that's about right. ("Jamaica Farewell" was in one of the Schott's talent show episodes, and that was from 1956.)

Another song that came up was "Oh My Papa", an old song but with a version by Eddie Fisher in 1954. It would have been completely unfamiliar, except that Krusty the Clown sang it to has rabbi father when they were reconciled on The Simpsons. It was unfamiliar to me, someone born in the 70s, but Matt Groening and James L. Brooks and even Conan O'Brien are older (by various amounts of years). That means they have memories of different things from what was contemporary for them, but also for what their parents hung on to from their own youths. 

What is familiar to us, and what a "standard" is and if that still exists and if someday people are going to have great nostalgia for Taylor Swift... those are all things that interest me.   

Again, I don't regret any of this. It is still a relief to do something else for a while. 

For now, put another dime in the jukebox, baby. 

1953

9/1 “The Song from Moulin Rouge” by Percy Faith feat. Felicia Sanders
9/2 “April In Portugal” by Les Baxter
9/3 “Dragnet” by Ray Anthony
9/4 “Rags to Riches” by Tony Bennett with Percy Faith
9/5 “C’est si bon” by Eartha Kitt

1952

9/6 “You Belong To Me” by Jo Stafford with Paul Weston
9/7 “The Glo-worm” by The Mills Brothers and Hal McIntyre
9/8 “Meet Mister Callaghan” by Les Paul
9/9 “I’m Yours” by Don Cornell with Norman Leyden
9/10 “Tell Me Why” by The Four Aces feat. Al Alberts

1951

9/11 “Undecided” by The Ames Brothers with The Les Brown Orchestra
9/12 “Down Yonder” by Del Wood
9/13 “Too Young” by Nat King Cole with Les Baxter
9/14 “Would I Love You (Love You, Love You)” by Patti Page
9/15 “I Get Ideas” by Tony Martin with Henri René

1950

9/16 “Third Man Theme” by Anton Karas
9/17 “I Can Dream, Can’t I” by The Andrews Sisters & Gordon Jenkins
9/18 “Rag Mop” by The Ames Brothers
9/19 “If I Knew You Were Coming I’d Have Baked a Cake” by Eileen Barton with Morty Craft
9/20 “My Foolish Heart” by Billy Eckstine

1949

9/21 “You’re Breaking My Heart” by Vic Damone
9/22 “Cruising Down the River” by Russ Morgan Orchestra
9/23 “So Tired” by Russ Morgan
9/24 “The Hucklebuck” by Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra

-- vacation --

9/29 “Careless Hands” by Sammy Kaye Orchestra

1948

9/30 “Twelfth Street Rag” by Peewee Hunt
10/1 “Little White Lies” by Dick Haymes and Gordon Jenkins
10/2 “My Happiness” by Ella Fitzgerald with The Song Spinners
10/3 “St. Louis Blues March” by Tex Beneke
10/5“Beg Your Pardon” by Francis Craig

1947

10/4 “Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)” by Tex Williams
10/6 “Mam’selle” by Dick Haymes
10/7 “The Anniversary Song” by Guy Lombardo
10/8 “You Do” by Margaret Whiting with Frank De Vol
10/9 “(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons” by Eddy Howard

1946

10/10 “Personality” by Johnny Mercer & The Pied Pipers
10/11 “To Each His Own” by The Ink Spots
10/12 “Hey! Ba-Ba-Re-Bop” by Tex Beneke with the Glenn Miller Orchestra
10/13 “Surrender” by Perry Como
10/14 “Symphony” by Freddy Martin