Out with a fizzle; back in with a bang.

You know, "bang" does not look right in lower case letters, but I don’t think I can justify capitals and grammatically you should only use an exclamation point with dialogue. Just pretend this is exciting.

Obviously, I did not finish my plan of writing twelve days in a row. Mainly I was overbooked with a big project at home that took a lot of my time, but also the next topic on the schedule was political and kind of dark, and it didn’t feel very Christmas-y. I will get to all of the topics on that list, but I really needed to take a break, and then come back.

I do love Christmas a lot, but the New Year is also very special to me. On a family level it is Mom’s birthday and it starts the round of other birthdays. Mainly, for me, it is about fresh starts, and getting another chance. Usually even when I have really rough years (or at least rough Decembers), as I approach New Year’s Eve hope starts seeping in again and I feel optimistic for the future.

This year I feel like the optimism is pretty well grounded. Having finished my rigorous self-evaluation and mental processing, I feel like I am more emotionally healthy than ever, and more ready to move forward. That I have been writing regularly helps a lot, because that has just not been true in previous years even though it has always been desired.

Obviously, I hope to do a lot more writing in 2008, eventually followed by some selling. I don’t think I will be actively selling until after the writer’s strike is resolved. I have not checked the official WGA policy yet, but I believe their demands are fair, and I do expect to be a member some day, so it seems right to wait. Also obvious is that the sooner it ends the better, but it is worth holding out for a fair deal. Kudos to Worldwide Pants, and may they be an example to the others out there.

There are some other major goals that I have, and I hope they are not too ambitious, but that everything can actually be accomplished. My next few entries will be about these issues, how they came about, and what I will be doing about them.

Some time ago I realized that shame is kind of a useless thing. If you are doing something wrong, you should change it, and if it is right, don’t worry about it. That’s a little simplistic, because change can be very hard, and not worrying about the appearance of things can be hard as well.

Based on my experience, I think it is more common that the things that really bug us and hold us back are the wrong things. Sometimes they aren’t even real, like when you are embarrassed because of what other people will think, when they would not think about it at all. A lot of my therapeutic writing was knocking down false perceptions, and getting rid of fear.

I don’t feel like I am expressing the concept really well, but it will make more sense over the next few entries. Get ready to explore the dark side of the spork.