Giving thanks

I know, it’s feast or famine with me. Well, I wanted to get some things out of the way, because while I was doing journal writing I had things I wanted to blog about, and there is a whole new round of blogging that I want to start, but I am playing catch-up first. This particular post actually goes back to November.

Lately there have been a lot of status update memes going around Facebook, to the point where I won’t do any of them anymore, and it has nothing to do with whether I care or not—they’re starting to feel like those e-mail messages that promise good luck or bad luck based on whether you forward. (I always break the chain. Always.) Anyway, before it got so out of hand, some people had started posting something that they were thankful for every day through Thanksgiving. I thought that was a great idea. It’s still very individualized, and gratitude is important.

When I say that I know gratitude is important, it is not just that it is appropriate to be thankful for blessings, knowing that there are many blessings, but also that it improves your outlook. (For more on that, see http://preparedspork.blogspot.com/2009/03/october-2008-three-keys-to-happiness.html.)

That being said, I was still just amazed by how positive an experience it was. I can’t even say that I was more on the lookout for blessings that usual, because just hearing about the idea gave me lots of ideas for posts, and I never had to struggle to find something to post. In general, I think I am pretty aware of blessings. Maybe it was expressing things publicly that made the difference. I only know that I felt good doing it, and seeing other people’s posts on their own gratitude.

As the holiday approached, I ran out of days, so I did one final, long post with everything else, and it felt wonderful to be so blessed. It wasn’t enough, actually, so I went through my friends and pages and just posted different things. I couldn’t do it for everyone of course, but there ended up being about fifty different postings, thanking people for things they had done for me, or things we experienced together, and even thanking those who have served in the military or in the police for what they do.

Not all of the posts were serious—I thanked George Clooney for just being him, and I know he will not see that—but still, it lifted my heart. I felt practically exultant with gratitude. Those words don’t seem like they should go together, but I am not sure how to describe it. My heart was bursting with a hymn of praise.

Even then, that was not everything, because afterwards many of the people that I wrote to wrote back, and some of the posts were really touching, so I felt thankful some more.

Gratitude is a beautiful thing, and anyone can do it. It’s not that I don’t have problems in my life—actually I have quite a few. One of my posts was that I was grateful that my diabetes was under control and that I haven’t had a cellulitis outbreak for a while, even though I have been sick a few times, which is usually what triggers it. Well, that means that I have diabetes, and with it I have a compromised immune system, so the opportunistic infection that I picked up years ago can flare up at any time. That is not great.

And yet still, somehow, it has stayed dormant for a while, even though there were some really good opportunities, and that is because my blood sugar is behaving fairly well, and that is because after many doctors and experiments with different combinations, we did find a regime that works pretty well. Also, we did that experimenting while I was employed and insured, and even thought it was expensive then because it was not good insurance, it was better to do it then than it would be now where I am uninsured. And I am really grateful that there was a brief time when I had good insurance, and that when everything first came up, involving a hospital stay, IV antibiotics, and follow-up appointments and classes on learning to live with diabetes, it was when I had the good insurance and everything was covered.

There are horrible, horrible things in the world, and they hit everyone, but the world is also filled with beauty, friendship, and grace. Gratitude is really a choice to remember the good, and it changes everything.