Loser

That isn't quite as harsh as it sounds. I have discussed a lot with my sisters that we just don't win things. This is not that we have a bad life, but we don't win contests or have rich relatives or strokes of good fortune. My not winning on the show just seemed to cement that. Of course I didn't.

Now parts of those conversations have been that we still have gotten to do some pretty cool things. We have good friends, we have a lot of fun in our day to day life, and we get in a fair amount of travel, so it is not just us sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. Still, there is always stress about money, and things that we would like to do but can't swing, and a constantly unrequited wish for something to happen to make things easier.

What I have had to realize is that most people don't get windfalls. It happens sometimes, and it's a nice thing to happen, but for most people it's just never an issue.

Maybe it's for the best. I have written before about how most big events only increase happiness for a year, but in the case of winning the lottery, it often seems to attract a lot of unhappiness. Even on a smaller scale, such things could be unreliable. Our father did get kind of a windfall once with a lawsuit settlement, and he blew through it very quickly without really having anything to show for it.

So, basically, we are living fairly ordinary lives, just like everyone around us. If one setback does not completely destroy us, it is because we help each other, and also because of that we do get to have some extras. Maybe if the first disappointment for a girl who loves fairy tales is that there is no Prince Charming to come take her away, the second is that there is also no fairy godmother to turn your rags into a beautiful dress, or make a coach out of a pumpkin.

I guess the point of that is that you can't base your life on "some day", because it could easily never come. I'm still waiting to sell a screenplay, but we've already been to Italy, and to Australia and New Zealand. I did not win on the show, but we still went to Disneyland, and we're still going to Mexico, and we're still going to go to lots of other places.

Talking about the show someone had mentioned it as a "bucket list" item, and no, I don't have one. I kind of dislike the idea of one. I'm not making a list of things I want to do before I die. I think of things I want to do, and then I figure out ways to do them. And I don't do them because I am going to die some day. I do them because I am alive, and I like things to be enjoyable and interesting and educational. Obviously a lot of that for us is travel, but it is also doing things locally, and learning new skills (or trying to and finding out it's not your bag; there's no shame in that). Really, a lot of it is the relationships. Some of our best times are just laughing around the table, riffing off of each other which, lucky for us, is free.

At the risk of sounding too preachy, a good life doesn't happen by accident. There are so many times when my sisters and I could easily stay in front of the television, or in bed, but we get up anyway, and we go and usually we are glad we did. And we don't do it all the time, because stressing yourself out detracts from the quality of life in another way, but the point is we are thinking about it and making things happen. No one will do it for us. Or you.