There is a Twitter
account whose spirit I kind of admire: https://twitter.com/AvoidComments
Don't Read Comments
is dedicated to reminding people that nothing good comes of reading internet
comments, which are overrun with ignorance, racism, and misogyny.
They are not wrong,
and yet I have a hard time resisting. Sure, you expect news stories about crime
and politics to bring out the worst in people, but just this weekend I was
fascinated by how much hate was being directed towards Jack White's soon-to-be
ex-wife. She was the shameless hussy who could clearly not be trusted, even
though he was the one who wanted to make his kids switch schools so he would
never have to sit next to Dan Auerbach.
So yes, internet
comments can make you hate people and weep for the fate of the world, but
sometimes they are also kind of funny and interesting and I am glutton for
punishment. And that's pretty much how we got here.
To review, at some
point after Valentine's Day 2012, I got really into My Chemical Romance, and
started remembering how great guitar can be. On April 5th 2012, Jim Marshall, the inventor of the
Marshall Stack and the "Father of Loud" died, and the 8 at 8 picked
songs from Rolling Stone's list of the 100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All Time in
his honor.
This was before I
read that issue of Rolling Stone on the cruise, so I was not disillusioned with
them yet, and the idea of such a list was very intriguing. I found a copy of it
on Stereogum, and started working through that:
Quite honestly, it
started out horribly. It did get me listening to different things, and a lot of
it made me think, but I disagreed with much of it strenuously. Naturally, so did
the commenters. Much of that was merely hate for what was included, especially
Nirvana, but there were also alternate suggestions.
There was so much
that I had never heard of, or where the name was familiar but I really didn't
know anything about them, that I decided to go through. Internet comments are
very disorganized. I am going to post the list I was working from below. Don't
be afraid, but it's a monster.
First of all, no
one reads anyone else's comments, so there were many duplicates, and it took a
while to weed all of those out and consolidate, but some duplicates stood,
because one person mentioned a specific song, but another put them as part of a
list, or put it in a quote that was worth capturing, or maybe I just didn't notice
the duplicate because monster! (I think I counted 179 line items, but I can't
vouch for it.)
Also, Rolling Stone
gave you all specific songs with titles and artists. Some people were much less
helpful. I thought I had a song title, but it was an album title, or they had
the title wrong or not specific enough, or the name of an artist but not his
band.
Magic Band: was
that the album by Howard Roberts? No, it was probably the Captain Beefheart
thing. Crimson Red could have been "Red" by King Crimson, or The
Crimson Red, or the song "Crimson Red" by Seikima?.It was probably
King Crimson. Similarly, did "Spacemen" mean The Spacemen, or
Spacemen 3?
In all of those
cases, I preferred the ones that were probably not the intended ones, so it may
have been in my favor that the comments were not clear, but still, it also made
things take longer.
(For
whether "Russolo" meant Luigi or Antonio, they probably meant Luigi,
but I care for neither.)
The worst,
though, was whoever put Bowie. Seriously. Do you realize how vast
his output is, and not particularly focused on guitar, and I am just supposed
to figure it out?
Plus some
things led to other things, which will be another post, but I did want to
clarify one thing. The first name on the list is Erik Rutan, and although he
does play guitar, he was listed not as a contender for a song, but as a
Stereogum rebuttal to Rolling Stone referring to Bruce Springsteen as the
angriest lead guitar on record.
I do think
it's fair to say that Erik Rutan, of Hate Eternal, Ripping Corpse, and Morbid
Angel, does come across as angrier, but actually, I think a lot of guitarists
do. James Hetfield might be angrier. I think of Ted Nugent more as crazy and
vile, but yeah, I guess he's angry too. Johnny Ramone is dead, but still
strikes me as angrier than Bruce.
I'm not
saying that Springsteen doesn't have any anger in him, but it seems like kind
of a stupid comment, and that one is by a professional!
Anyway, the
next few posts come from working my way through the following. I did copy and
paste, which is why there are different orders, syntax, and punctuation.
Erik Rutan
Teenage Riot, Candle, Sonic Youth
Dinosaur Jr (freak scene) Living All Over Me album, Sludgefeast
Pavement (summer babe, grounded, watery domestic ep, frontwards, wowee, slanted, shady lane, carrot rope, rattled by the rush)
Television
Hell, Blank Generation
Gang of Four Love Like Anthrax
Tool, parabola
My Morning Jacket One Big Holiday, Mahgeetah
John Mayer No Such Thing, others that are not gravity
Pixies other than Debaser, Dig for Fire, holiday
Pearl Jam Yellow Ledbetter
Coheed and Cambria Welcome Home
Dragonforce Through the Fire and Flames
The Spill Canvas, Black Dresses
Pantera Walk
Dire Straits, So Far Away
Eric Clapton, Cocaine
Lindsey Buckingham
Springsteen Born in the USA
My Iron Lung but not Paranoid Android? Solo at the end of Just? Paranoid Android should be over My Iron Lung (Radiohead)
Gang of Four, and Link Wray should be higher
Stone Temple Pilots
Smoke on the Water, All Right Now, The Boys are Back in Town, Mississippi Queen
Stevie Ray Vaughn, Couldn’t Stand the Weather
Van Halen, Ain’t Talking about Love, Mean Street
Pink Floyd/Gilmour, Comfortably Numb, wish you were here, One of these Days instead of interstellar overdrive, Mother, Shine on you crazy diamond
Rush, Limelight
Robert Cray, Time Makes Two
Built to Spill (Doug Martsch)
Stooges, Search and Destroy
Bowie
Hawkwind
Magic Band maybe album by Howard Roberts? Captain Beefheart
Keiji Haino
Don Caballero
Mick Barr (Orthrelm)
Teenage Riot, Candle, Sonic Youth
Dinosaur Jr (freak scene) Living All Over Me album, Sludgefeast
Pavement (summer babe, grounded, watery domestic ep, frontwards, wowee, slanted, shady lane, carrot rope, rattled by the rush)
Television
Hell, Blank Generation
Gang of Four Love Like Anthrax
Tool, parabola
My Morning Jacket One Big Holiday, Mahgeetah
John Mayer No Such Thing, others that are not gravity
Pixies other than Debaser, Dig for Fire, holiday
Pearl Jam Yellow Ledbetter
Coheed and Cambria Welcome Home
Dragonforce Through the Fire and Flames
The Spill Canvas, Black Dresses
Pantera Walk
Dire Straits, So Far Away
Eric Clapton, Cocaine
Lindsey Buckingham
Springsteen Born in the USA
My Iron Lung but not Paranoid Android? Solo at the end of Just? Paranoid Android should be over My Iron Lung (Radiohead)
Gang of Four, and Link Wray should be higher
Stone Temple Pilots
Smoke on the Water, All Right Now, The Boys are Back in Town, Mississippi Queen
Stevie Ray Vaughn, Couldn’t Stand the Weather
Van Halen, Ain’t Talking about Love, Mean Street
Pink Floyd/Gilmour, Comfortably Numb, wish you were here, One of these Days instead of interstellar overdrive, Mother, Shine on you crazy diamond
Rush, Limelight
Robert Cray, Time Makes Two
Built to Spill (Doug Martsch)
Stooges, Search and Destroy
Bowie
Hawkwind
Magic Band maybe album by Howard Roberts? Captain Beefheart
Keiji Haino
Don Caballero
Mick Barr (Orthrelm)
Mark Ribot
Kings of Leon Four Kicks
Black
Keyes, All Hands Against His Own
Karate Ice
or Ground
Les Savy
Fav The Sweat Descends
Magazine,
Shot by Both Sides
Elvis,
Mystery Train
Dale Hawkins
– Suzy Q;
Duane Eddy
– Rebel Rouser
Beatles
Taxman
Husker Du’s
“New Day Rising”
Sonic
Youth, but not the ones they picked, Sonic Youth covering “Touch Me I’m Sick”
by Mudhoney., Cross the Breeze
Search and
Destroy
Velvet
Underground
Who, My
Generation
Boz Scaggs, Loan me a Dime
Boz Scaggs, Loan me a Dime
Soundgarden,
Outshined
Jeff Beck,
Bolero
Crimson Red
Amboy
Dukes, Journey to the Center of the Mind
Santo &
Jonny
REM, Begin
the Begin
Rapeman,
Steak and Black Onions
Jesus
Lizards Monkey Trick
Modest
Mouse, Never Ending Math Equation
Guided by
Voices, Everywhere with Helicopter
Chavez,
Break Up Your Band
run dmc:
“rockbox”
dinosaur jr.: “start choppin’
p.i.l. : “fff”
dinosaur jr.: “start choppin’
p.i.l. : “fff”
Berry, Roll Over Beethoven
Iron
Butterfly, Innagaddadavida
Black
Sabbath, Iron Man
Jethro
Tull, Aqualung
Beck Stewart
People get Ready
Hendrix,
Still Raining Still Dreaming
The Faces,
Sweet Little Rock and Roller
Santana,
Soul Sacrifice
Procul
Harum, Whiskey Train
The
Outlaws, Green Grass and High Tides
Ozzy, No
More Tears
Yardbirds,
Heart Full of Soul
Kinks, All
Day and all of the night
Black
Sabbath, Sweet Leaf
Steely Dan,
My Old School
Chicago
Transit Authority, I’m a man
21st
Century Schizoid Man, King Crimson
Jefferson
Airplane, We can be Together
Foghat,
Driving Wheel
Humble Pie,
I don’t need no doctor
Van Halen “Unchained
Iron Maiden “Alexander The Great”
Aerosmith “Love In An Elevator”
Whitesnake “Still Of The Night”
Van Halen “Unchained
Iron Maiden “Alexander The Great”
Aerosmith “Love In An Elevator”
Whitesnake “Still Of The Night”
Slayer
Iron
Maiden, Number of the Beast
Spacemen
Nine Inch
Nails
Jane’s
Addiction, janes’s addiction: “ocean size”, Stop
by Jane's Addiction (would've been Mountain Song if it weren't for the damn
Coors Light ad! Maybe I'll get over it one day)
Cocteau
Twins
Instead of
Only Shallow by MBV To Here Knows When or Soon
The
Chameleons
Cream
Cat Power’s
“He War,”
Archers of
Loaf’s “Last Word,”
Slint’s
“Breadcrumb Trail,” or
Big Black’s
“Kerosene.
Albini
Von LMO
John Fahey
Russolo
John Fahey
Russolo
Rachel and
the Lawn Grower
MXPX “Chick
Magnet”
George Lynch (Dokken)
1. Smoke on the Water
2. Iron Man
3. Sunshine of Your Love
4. Welcome to the Jungle
5. Enter Sandman
Robin Trower. Bridge of Sighs, Too Rolling Stoned, Day of the Eagle.
George Lynch (Dokken)
1. Smoke on the Water
2. Iron Man
3. Sunshine of Your Love
4. Welcome to the Jungle
5. Enter Sandman
Robin Trower. Bridge of Sighs, Too Rolling Stoned, Day of the Eagle.
The
Fall of Troy
Deep Purple, Highway Star
All Right Now – Free
Born To Be Wild ? Steppenwolf
The Boys Are Back In Town ? Thin Lizzy
Kashmir ? Led Zeppelin
More Than A Feeling ? Boston
Rockin? In The Free World ? Neil Young
School?s Out ? Alice Cooper
Smoke On The Water ? Deep Purple
Wild Thing ? The Troggs
Won?t Get Fooled Again ? The Who
Deep Purple, Highway Star
All Right Now – Free
Born To Be Wild ? Steppenwolf
The Boys Are Back In Town ? Thin Lizzy
Kashmir ? Led Zeppelin
More Than A Feeling ? Boston
Rockin? In The Free World ? Neil Young
School?s Out ? Alice Cooper
Smoke On The Water ? Deep Purple
Wild Thing ? The Troggs
Won?t Get Fooled Again ? The Who
Boston More
than a feeling
Wolfmother
Wolfmother
Queensryche
Guns N’ Roses – Since I Don’t Have You, Ain’t It Fun, November Rain
AC/DC – Highway To Hell
Aerosmith – Cryin’
Rainbow – Black Masquerade
Guns N’ Roses – Since I Don’t Have You, Ain’t It Fun, November Rain
AC/DC – Highway To Hell
Aerosmith – Cryin’
Rainbow – Black Masquerade
Muse,
Hysteria, Plug in Baby
Mott the Hoople, All the Young Dudes
Mott the Hoople, All the Young Dudes
Paul
Mccartney, Band on the Run
Rush, La Villa Strangiato
Daytripper
Satriani, Surfing with the Alien
More BB King, Lucille, 3 o clock blues
Rush, La Villa Strangiato
Daytripper
Satriani, Surfing with the Alien
More BB King, Lucille, 3 o clock blues
Megadeath,
Tornado of Souls
Yngwie Malmsteen, Cacophony (consists of Becker and Friedman), Racer X (well executed, but did not grab me), Judas Priest
Michael Angelo Batio, Jason Becker, Marty Friedman, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani
Yngwie Malmsteen, Cacophony (consists of Becker and Friedman), Racer X (well executed, but did not grab me), Judas Priest
Michael Angelo Batio, Jason Becker, Marty Friedman, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani
Ted Nugent,
Stranglehold, Cat Scratch Fever
Led
Zeppelin
Golden
Earring, Radar Love
Buckethead,
Sea of Expanding Shapes, Padmasana, The way to Heaven
Lou Reed,
Intro/Sweet Jane from Rock n Roll Animal
Eagles -
they really have their own sound.
Santana,
Hope you’re feeling better
Peter Green
(Fleetwood Mac) Oh Well
Stones,
Satisfaction, Start Me Up, Gimme Shelter, Beast
of Burden, All Down the Line
YaYas
Sympathy for the Devil, Bitch
Mick
Taylor, Slow Blues
Bo Diddley
For what it's
worth, the hastily-thrown-together FtY Top Ten Guitar Songs:
10) Badge by Cream
9) The Plan by Built to Spill
8) The Only Moment We Were Alone by Explosions in the Sky
7) Silverfuck by Smashing Pumpkins (this was nearly Siva)
6) Alone by Dinosaur Jr. (that no Dino was on RS's list is yet another travesty)
5) Supernaut by Black Sabbath (really, this whole list could be all Sabbath now that I think about it)
4) Stop by Jane's Addiction (would've been Mountain Song if it weren't for the damn Coors Light ad! Maybe I'll get over it one day.)
3) Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry
2) Maggot Brain by Funkadelic
1) Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) by Jimi Hendrix
10) Badge by Cream
9) The Plan by Built to Spill
8) The Only Moment We Were Alone by Explosions in the Sky
7) Silverfuck by Smashing Pumpkins (this was nearly Siva)
6) Alone by Dinosaur Jr. (that no Dino was on RS's list is yet another travesty)
5) Supernaut by Black Sabbath (really, this whole list could be all Sabbath now that I think about it)
4) Stop by Jane's Addiction (would've been Mountain Song if it weren't for the damn Coors Light ad! Maybe I'll get over it one day.)
3) Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry
2) Maggot Brain by Funkadelic
1) Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) by Jimi Hendrix
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