Charity

I have written about the toy drive we do at work before, but this was the first year that I ended up doing a volunteer shift with it.

I was a little surprised at how it went. We got to the place and found two mountains of bags. We were opening the bags from one mountain, which were the donations as they had come in. We emptied those, and then put them into new bags in groups of 15, because the toys hadn't been counted yet. And we did some sorting. Sometimes there were clothes or school supplies, and those went into separate places, and sometimes we would find things that were broken or not new, and those did not go in the new bags, but mainly it was open, empty, count while loading into new bag, tie, and toss it onto the other mountain.

Agencies would later come and take a specific number of bags, based on (I assume) how many children they were serving and also how many bags there were. I know there have been years when we were under goal. I don't know how things came out this year, but I know it was a lot of toys.

Bikes are handled a little differently, and some of the larger toys, but ultimately there is a certain element of randomness to which agencies get which bags and what is inside. Previously when I had thought about kids getting what they really want, I thought in terms of whether what they wanted happened to be donated, but there's a lot more involved.

That's not to say that there is no value in getting any presents, or that this drive is their only shot. I know at different malls you will see requests for specific items on their giving trees, and some of the agencies may work with multiple collection sources, but there is still this thought that there could be some special wishes that don't get fulfilled only because the right connections are not made.

The work of official charities and agencies is important. I don't want to take anything away from what they do, because it is valuable and it is hard, and they put in a lot of effort. (And I imagine I will never stop thinking about the importance of an equitable society.) However, there are some things that only work out when it is individual to individual.

There are food banks to keep people from starving, but that favorite, homemade food usually requires a person. There are also a lot of times when our basic needs are met, so we aren't on any charity's radar, but there may be wants that seem hopeless. When someone who knows makes that happen, that is magic. Actually, it's better than magic; it's love.

In the Tuohy's book, In a Heartbeat: Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving, they do focus on the cheerful part, but also they talk about "popcorn giving" - responding to things as they pop up.

There are chances all around when you pay attention. Sometimes you just realize, I can do that. I could get that shirt for her. I can send cookies. These are rarely life and death things, but they provide little bursts of joy, because they show that you have been seen. Someone noticed. Someone cares.

I read Howard's End because of the phrase "Only connect." I thought it would be about connecting to each other. It is actually about connecting the animal and the angel, the poetic and the prosaic. It is about connecting all of the forces that seem to be in opposition but that actually require cooperation. It still worked though, because to fully connect to each other, we need to deal with the contradictions of each other.

We need to love each other despite the nuisances and the flaws. The general feeling of goodwill to men is important, but it is even better to love specifically. I see you. I care about you. I can do this for you.

Charity is only something that we do until it is something we become.