Mormon girl

Faith and religion helped me through my hard times. The two can represent different things, and they are intertwined, but they were both important for me.

I want to communicate clearly about this. It's very important to me, and I have been seeing more anti-religious sentiment. I have thought about doing a series of posts on why religion is not the problem, and what the problem actually is, and that probably will happen eventually, but this is just my personal story.

One invaluable thing was the knowledge that there was something bigger than my own problems. My school and my home were tiny parts of a big world in an enormous universe, and that stage of my life was a small part of my existence. There is a limit to how much pain it can take away in the moment, but I maintain that it still helps.

My particular religion being one that abstains from alcohol and drugs was also very helpful. On an intellectual level I have this concept in mind that when people use substances to numb their feelings, it decreases the likelihood that they will productively deal with those feelings. Realistically I know there are still a lot of ways to avoid dealing with those feelings, but it can get you closer.

Also realistically, while the Italian side of my family handles drinking impressively, the other side has some alcoholism going on. I have seen what a strong effect prescription medication has on me, and I have seen how compulsive I can become with stupid things like computer games or food. It is really for the best that I have never been drunk, stoned, or high. Nothing good could come of it.

I have friends who went through some pretty wild times trying to find themselves, or lose themselves, too, depending. They have done things that were dangerous or degrading or that took out some brain cells. With my genetics, I don't like my odds, so that I never went there was good.

I do know other people with the same religious upbringing who did those things that I avoided, some with some pretty serious results. That would have been easy for me to do, because Dad wasn't going anymore, and my older siblings did rebel at times. I never really felt inclined that way.

I had my rebellious moments. I remember staying home one Sunday, because I had decided that I just didn't want to go. It didn't feel right, so I didn't do that again. I guess that's where I make the distinction between religion and faith. I was trained in a specific religion, and that mattered, but I think it mattered more that it got inside of me.

Having faith meant that I built a personal relationship with God. It meant that I was praying and reading the scriptures regularly, and going to church, and that I was building up strength there.

It meant that I was inviting the Holy Ghost into my life, so there could be comfort at times, and inspiration and guidance. Those things were important to me then, and they still are now.

Obviously it's not that it takes all of the trouble away, but it does make enduring easier, and that's worth a lot.

Even now, I feel myself being guided in the things that I am doing. I know the way I am doing Throwback Thursday is not how people normally do it, being overly methodical and all that, but I also see that it is helping me. Beyond that, I see that doing the songs of the day countdown by year prepared me for it by starting this review of my life. I believe "next steps" will continue to come to me as I am ready for them.

So that's something for which I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I was introduced to the gospel young, and I'm grateful that it stuck. Neither of those were guaranteed.