Field study

Right now I appear to be choosing the books that did not seem to relate to the key topic at the time I was reading them, but they have other purposes.

Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael G. Thompson, Lawrence J. Cohen, and Catherine O'Neill Grace

While there were some chapters on older children and peer pressure, a lot of the book focused more on early childhood development. I was not having much contact with children at the time.

That changed as I got called into nursery. I am in junior nursery. That is technically supposed to be 18 - 24 months, but because there were so many children in the senior nursery (2 years old to 3 years) I got to spend more time with many of the children.

This is such a rich developmental age. They are learning to play, and they can be at the stage where they start forming friendships, but they aren't necessarily. Sometimes this results in side-by-side play, and sometimes the preferred method of interaction is snatching toys from someone else. And sometimes it is selecting a toy, bringing it to me, and repeating.

Not everything that I observed came from this book. Sometimes there were things that people I know had mentioned about their children. That stage where little boys always have their hands down their pants? Psychology 101. (I am not a Freudian, but he did observe real things.)

There are personalities that emerge, but there are also phases that are not a part of the personality. This one will get over hitting people. That one may not stop being bossy any time soon.

One girl initially wanted to spend a lot of time cuddling, but it gradually became less and less as she would play more. She would still run back sometimes to recharge. She had cuddling relapse the day we had extra children and extra noise. I realized that I was providing a sense of security so that she could feel safe to go out into the world. If there was ever a time when I wondered if what I was doing was important, that settled it.

One thing that I knew and was reminded of was how much parents worry. Yes, some are worse, but worrying is still pretty normal. And one thing that was in the book, but that is also observable, is that a lot of the worry is unnecessary. A lot of these things are really very normal, and they end.

Of course, I never expected a year where there has been such sharp veering from normal; I may end up becoming more pessimistic. But if there are things where I can know that it is okay, and channel my energies elsewhere, I will take that.