Homework

I think I am going to try and blow through some of the books from the Long Reading List this week.

Behind the Mask: Adolescents in Hiding, by Dennis Rozema.

This book was not as good as some of them. It resonated because there are many quotes from teenagers that sounded like my teenagers. That's probably the issue right there; I knew it was for some people, but it was not for me.

If I had read it when I was in high school - when I had put up those walls and they hadn't started getting any cracks yet - well, I might not have accepted it anyway. As it was, I read it in 2013, after I had spent years of becoming more open, first in conversation and then via the blog. I don't have much left in the way of disguise. That's intentional, and it sounds scarier than it is, because maintaining the facade is no fun.

I did appreciate that the book had assignments. None of them ended up being particularly relevant for me - that happened with a different book - but for its target group they were probably good exercises.

I'm thinking about that now for two reasons. That starts with an awareness of the practical side of my progress. Yes, writing about everything so much has played a role, and the reading, and those have been assignments in themselves. Beyond that, the things that put it into practice make everything so much more concrete. Taking selfies, and trying to dress up, and forcing myself into social situations, and all of these tasks that I have given myself matter. They translate the cerebral into the tangible. The body doesn't automatically follow the mind but you can make it happen.

The other reason I am thinking about it is the question of what I would recommend. When I see people going through issues that I at least partially relate too, despite our differences, well, what would be a good map? If I were to write a book, what would be in the book? This has been a pretty messy process, and it's available on the blog, but that could take a lot of digging.

It could be fair to say "Think about the thing you would most like to change about yourself, and then think about a step you can take in that direction." People should be able to get some ideas from that, and surely some of the ideas would be good ones, but there are probably more effective paths.