A gift of song

Some time ago -- years ago in fact -- I mentioned the possibility of at some point making some songs of the day that were my songs.

I have written several songs, though "written" is a strong word.

There is a way in which it fits. I have written books and screenplays and blog posts and poems and scripts for graphic novels. Writing comes naturally to me and some concepts belong to certain forms. Sometimes there is music.

The way calling it writing doesn't fit is that I don't have a very good ear for figuring out the right notes. Even when I have an instrument to try picking it out on, I can never make it sound right. So I write lyrics and remember the melody. 

(I do have a surprisingly good memories for tunes.)

I also love music passionately. I am much better at appreciating music than performing it.

I do not doubt that I could get better with practice, but there are just other things that I need to do, especially including reading and writing. That's my thing. There are other people where music is their thing. That's okay; I can be happy appreciating them.

There was still always this idea that I should do something with one song that was very much a Christmas song, and also a realization that I have a few other Christmas songs. Well, one is really more of a solstice song, but close enough.

So while I have not generally thought of doing so with the other, not Christmas-related songs, the idea of at some point recording those few and putting them out there has been pretty consistent. 

As December rolled around I would wonder whether this is the year, except...

1. I am not a good singer. Sometimes I can sound okay, but it is not reliable.
2. I would not have the ability to have any instruments accompanying, which makes it even worse than my occasional karaoke participation.
3. I am not even sure how I would get it recorded. I haven't recorded a sound file for at least six years.

I would then think that maybe if I prepared a little earlier I could ask some friends to help. I do know a lot of people who are good at music, and own instruments and even record on a regular basis.

I did not do that this year, but doing it this year still feels imperative.

I suspect the reason is that I need to be okay with doing some things badly.

This is something that I care about, and feel is important, but where I also feel inadequate and unprepared, and where I know other people could do better. I am afraid that is going to be a very apt analogy for me for the next four years or so.

Before this year is over, expect some daily songs written and performed by me.

That is pretty vague. There are a few questions that I still need to resolve.

There are two songs that are definitely ready to be sung, and two that need a little work. 

Of those two, I need to locate the lyric sheet for one of them. I think I know where it is.

For the other two, I really only have the chorus for each. I kind of know how the verses would go, and working on them might be a nice creative way to finish the year, but I am not sure.

In addition, while I was able to update my Soundcloud login, the three files that I did for this class I took on music therapy -- which I believe published correctly at the time -- now show as the upload not having been completed. Would that work? Should I try Youtube?

As you can see, with this level of readiness, trying to rope in other people was never more than a pipe dream.

I remain much as I have ever been, but I will keep trying things. 

Maybe next year I will dance for you!