Those first traces of memory loss were present as we were working out details with the knee surgery, but it was easy to brush them aside.
She was only not taking in details about the surgery, which was stressful and scary. She had not lost any past memories yet.
That was only the beginning.
The chronological order doesn't work as well here, because things become more disjointed.
1/24 “The Long Walk Home” by Glen Campbell*
1/25 “Won’t Give In” by The Finn Brothers
1/26 “Time To Say Goodbye” by Sarah Brightman and Andrea
Bocelli
1/27 “Torna a Surriento” by Luciano Pavarotti
1/28 “A Better Place” by Glen Campbell
Let's start with the two songs that use Italian, "Torno a Surriento" and "Time To Say Goodbye" (which is partially in English).
One of Mom's cleaning customers was always influencing her music tastes, which was how Mom ended up with The Phantom of the Opera with Sarah Brightman and with Andrea Bocelli. (Also Il Divo and Yanni Live at the Acropolis. I bought her the Three Tenors.)
When I hoped singing practice would be a good way to fend off the decline, these were both songs I tried. I had better luck with "O Sole Mio" but the journey aspect of these songs works for me for representing when I became her full-time caregiver in 2016 and when I took her to Italy one last time in 2017.
I am also using two songs by Glen Campbell; that doesn't sound like me.
On the other hand, reading about the Wrecking Crew and then watching the documentary -- including the documentary extras -- sounds a lot like me.
There were some interview segments with Campbell in the extras, and there was a familiarity to the way he was talking... I was not surprised later to find out that he had dementia too.
I later found a documentary about him and a memoir from his wife that dealt with the disease, as well as new music.
The first song I heard was "I'm Not Gonna Miss You." It resonated with me and I understood the approach, but it's a little too raw for my personal soundtrack. The other two songs work better, especially as they indicate a journey and something after.
Notice that asterisk with "The Long Walk Home"? Both of the songs are from the album I'll Be Me, which I appreciated a lot.
After he died (7 years after!) there was another release, Duets, where different artists sang "with" him. I am not sure that he had any input into it, but there are some really good musicians participating and I guess it's a nice idea.
However, the original version of "The Long Walk Home" with only Glen Campbell is not available on Youtube except to premium members. It looks like someone else had tried to post it and it was taken down. You can only get the version with Hope Sandoval.
Look, if I had any interest in that curiously flat and grating version of the song, I would hide better versions too. I listened to it, trying to see if I could bear to share it. I shared a link to Spotify instead.
I guess I am just lucky that he'd actually shot a music video for "A Better Place."
I have written about "Won't Give In" before, and a lot of those feelings still apply.
I'll link to that, adding the context that it was after I'd had one really hard time and couldn't write anymore, or really enjoy anything.
As things started to get better, new music sparked creativity and joy. I was writing a lot, and I needed that, but also there was a lot of death (and fighting against tyranny) in the work.
Ultimately, how it worked for me was helping me to be okay with death and loss, that there was still value, and it was really important to cherish people and the time you have with them.
Good thing I had worked that out already.
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