Give me mountains to climb

For the past few general conferences I have watched with a small notebook, and I note each speaker and a few keywords. Sometimes, if one really gets me, I star it. I do this because sometimes I remember that something was special to me, but not which one, and the notes help me figure it out.

“Give me mountains to climb” is all I have down for President Eyring’s talk. His talk was actually titled “Mountains to Climb”, but he refers to a talk from 1979 by President Kimball, “Give Me this Mountain”, and I guess I combined the two.

I don’t remember having a strong reaction to it while listening, but when I was reading the talks later it started working on me.

For President Eyring, when he listened to the original talk, it impressed him to seek out challenges, and to actually pray for them, so that he could grow. Reading it, my first thought was that I cannot do that. Yes, I have grown from my trials, I am grateful for those experiences and growth, but I cannot seek out more. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I had a friend who was the opposite. I remember saying something to her once about no one seeking out pain, and she said she did, and that made sense, actually, because she had a little bit of a masochist/martyr streak, and a lot of emotional issues, so I did not find her point of view persuasive. I will take the challenges as they come, but I‘m not asking for more.

The first insight came with an unexpected memory of an old Ensign article. It was about going the second mile. The article explained that Roman soldiers could order the Jews to carry their gear for a mile, but no longer. On that first mile, you are basically a servant, but the soldier can only compel you for one mile. So, if you choose to offer your service for another mile, you walk as a free person. It offered a different mental point of view, and a feeling of independence and influence.

It occurred to me then that perhaps the point in this for me was more for a different viewpoint. Instead of being frustrated with challenges and trying to power through them, to try and get an image of how it is going to be helpful before and during, rather than just coming to understand it afterwards. It would mean being more active than passive.

That was one thought, and it seemed like a good thought, and I did decide I was going to do a blog post on it. I read the talk again, and this time I noticed that President Eyring said that at the time that it was too soon for him to pray that prayer. So what had I been worrying about? Except that he still didn’t express regret for it, he still gave the talk, and he still was grateful for the growth.

This led to more thinking, and what I started thinking about was why the thought of new problems worried me so much, and I realized it was a time issue. There is always so much I want to do and read and write and learn, and problems tend to take away from my time for making that happen. That being said, a lot of that is me. I am the one who will get all broody, and then play mindless games or watch television or mope rather than reading or writing or spending time with people. There are times when there are things that you actually have to do, but reacting appropriately can help a lot with the time crunch.

This led back to the whole “powering through” concept. When things are really bad, I try and just keep my head down and ignore it, because it won’t last. There are things that last a while, though, and so there is a lot to be said for being able to keep on functioning through trials, because they don’t all require going into emergency mode.

Taking the long view is also helpful because I am getting better at seeing progress, and noticing that there are areas where I have gotten better. That feels good.

I have read the talk at least once more since then, and I also decided to read President Kimball’s talk. The interesting part about that is that it doesn’t even sound so much like he was asking for trials as he was asking for opportunities for growth and blessing. It was based on the story of Caleb, and the first part of that was that when he saw a good land, he was willing to take it and trust in the Lord, when others were stopped by fear.

Caleb still had to wait the forty years for that generation to die off, but he did not die and his strength was not diminished, and when he said “Give me this mountain”, he was asking for land for his inheritance, and he received it.

Well that touches on important points for me too. I feel like so much time has gone by that I haven’t capitalized on that I have really lowered my expectations for life. To some extent that has been fine, because life has been really gratifying. I am happy to be writing and travelling and enjoying friends and family, and if that comes with being an old maid with a day job until the day I die, it’s still a good life.

What this reminded me is that more is possible too, and the things that could stand in my way are not guaranteed to stand in my way. And that leaves me with one more scripture, which comforts me at times:

D&C 111:11 Therefore, be ye as wise as serpents and yet without sin; and I will order all things for your good, as fast as ye are able to receive them. Amen.