There’s this thing I’ve been doing lately

It’s a pretty common on Facebook that in November people will post daily on things they are grateful for. Some just go through Thanksgiving, but a lot of people will go through the whole month, especially this year when Thanksgiving came so early.

I did go through the whole month, and even though I am a pretty grateful person in general, making that extra effort and sharing it is special. Taking time with a higher than usual focus on gratitude is good. And, I kind of missed it when it was over.

I have been thinking a lot about how important it is to connect with people, and for them to know that they are remembered and that you care. It’s the Twitter thing still, with all the young people, and maybe other things too. 

Anyway, I decided to try focusing on that for December. I decided on December 2^nd, so I posted two that day.

It’s been much more poorly-defined than November was. Posting things I am thankful for on my own wall in November would have a clear pattern, even if no one else was doing it. This is more random. Sometimes it is a thank you or a compliment or just a hello, and it is on different walls, where not all of my friends know each other, so no one would be seeing all of them. Because of this, it is not as easy for others to figure out. That’s okay, I don’t really know what I’m doing either.

Still, the wall posting seems to be important. I would have thought that direct messages and email messages would count, but I found that whenever I did that, it did not feel complete unless I also posted on someone’s wall.

I think that may be due to one of the things that was surprising to me. I knew there was a good chance that the people I complimented or thanked or said “hi” to would reply or like the messages; that’s pretty standard. What I was not expecting was that other people – uninterested third parties—would like the messages also. 

It’s not that there was not any teasing questioning of the compliments, because there was, and I was called a suck-up once, though I believe it was good-natured, but in general, people seem to respond well to kindness even when it is directed at others. That is valuable.

I honestly don’t know where I am going with this. I will probably do it through the rest of the month. I have thought of sending affirming tweets to every teen on Twitter, or maybe everyone I follow, or everyone who follows me. I could go through my entire friends list on Facebook and say something nice to everyone. I worry that choosing any of those would end up perfunctory and artificial. 

However, I worried that just doing what I have done so far would end up being artificial, and it hasn’t been. I do have to force myself to find someone where I can say something, but a lot of it is just channeling the thoughts I already have. I like seeing people’s posts, and a lot of them make me smile on a regular basis. I am pretty good about “liking” posts and marking tweets as “favorites”, but it may not register as much as a comment or a reply, or something like that.

The important thing is that a few people have said I have made their day, and it appears to be really easy to do that, and so I feel like I should do that more often. It’s not that we’re stingy. At least, I don’t think we are. I think if we realized how much happiness we could bring, we would do it more. It’s not that we’re making a huge difference, because most people function pretty well, and get by. It is just that the extra remembrance means a lot. That’s what perks up the day. I want to do more of that. I’m not sure at all of the best way of doing it, or how I will be trying it, but I am sure it’s the right direction.

I’ll close with a bit from Anne of Avonlea (the book, not the movie):

Ann glowed.

”I’m so glad you spoke that thought, Priscilla, instead of just thinking it and keeping it to yourself. This world would be a much more interesting place…although it is very interesting anyhome…if people spoke out their real thoughts.”

“It would be too hot to hold some folks,” quoted Jane sagely.

“I suppose it might be, but that would be their own faults for thinking nasty things.”