Putting it all out there

This morning I uploaded a new screenplay to Amazon Studios. It can be viewed, along with other screenplays, at http://studios.amazon.com/users/70821.

That could be significant on its own, but that is not all that is going to happen this week. Tomorrow I am going to put a novel up for sale. I will explain more about that in tomorrow's blog post.

Wednesday I will link to more comics I have drawn, and blog about things I am trying to do differently in terms of making them more accessible. I will also be updating my LinkedIn profile, and checking out the submission guidelines for a couple of places, and trying to find a publisher for The Bear in the Net and Karate Kat, both of which I think could do well as children's books.

Also, as I said I would Wednesday, I am publishing one 6 page script per day this month, viewable here:

http://www.wattpad.com/user/GinaHarris827

That will become progressively more impressive as the month progresses.

It's a lot of stuff, and it does relate to the long reading list, and to being restless, and the other things I have mentioned.

Part of it is that I just have a desire to share. As much as it is try that I write for myself, I then still want other people to read it.

A lot of it is that I just want to be a professional writer.

Everything I have ever said about needing to write anyway, whether I am paid for it or not, is still true, but I want to be paid for it. I want to have the freedom to focus on my writing rather than it having to be the thing I fit in with my other responsibilities. I have always wanted that. I have tried for it before, but I haven't been as aggressive as I could.

It's hard to really believe in yourself, at least it has been for me. Putting yourself out there is one thing, and then actively promoting yourself is even worse. I still have to figure out how far I want to go with that. There are some people who encourage others to buy their book several times a day, and that seems not only annoying but probably also not effective.

I don't know what will be effective, but I need to try and figure that out. I need to believe in me and take a chance on me.

To some extent I do. I like my writing. As I stretch myself and try new things, I know I can do it. The hard part is trusting other people to see it, and having the confidence to ask them to look.

I have to manage it though, because it is the only way to get the life I want, and also, it is for those people I care about. If I tell them to believe that good things can happen and to be brave, and I won't do it, how can they trust me?

As I blog about the reading over the next few months (that's my estimate; I'm not really sure), that will be something I keep coming back to. How do you believe in yourself? Why don't we?

Maybe sometimes the only answer is to throw yourself in.