2019 Music Goals Update

I tend to organize my life into six week segments. At least when I have some sort of goal in place, I look at a six week period, regardless of how the actual execution goes.

Looking at going for a while without reviewing any bands, I figure that will probably be for about six weeks, a bit longer than the do-over Black History month.

During that time period I am focusing on listening to the bands I wanted to listen to more after reading Nothing Feels Good. There were fewer bands than the last list I was going through, but because it is listening to the entire catalog - not just the top ten or so songs - it is taking longer. (Mogwai is taking forever!)

Some of these bands will be marked for eventual review, and some won't but will get a song of the day. That's okay. Other goals of going back through my reviewed bands, recording a week's worth of songs myself, and studying more about Christmas carols will still happen eventually.

Typically, I have thought of other things I want to do, but there is a theme to it that interests me.

For example, the daily songs from Martin Luther King Day through Valentine's Day were a Stevie Wonder tribute . That was great, but I could only do it because of the notes I'd taken. Otherwise there was too much to keep in memory. When I played each song again I realized why I liked it, and kind of remembered, but I could not bring them to mind before, and for the most part I still can't.

I want to go through his catalog again and create a playlist of my favorites. Then I can play it sometimes and remember. There's not a rush, but it needs to be done.

In addition, I realize that I want to return to two of my larger listening projects, and probably pull out some more bands for review.

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/08/greatest-guitar-songs-trouble-with.html

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2015/07/musical-black-girls.html

It is especially important with the listening from the comments on the Greatest Guitar songs list, because I wasn't reviewing yet then. There were a lot of artists and I don't remember them all. That isn't always bad, but maybe there are ones that I want to remember and don't. 

If I think now off the top of my head about whom I would want to go back to, I can think of maybe Gang of Four and Magazine... that's two out of what was roughly 179.

(Just for the record, without having gotten there yet on the Nothing Feels Good listening, I know I will want to do a full review of Social Distortion and Anti-Flag. Does that mean I can skip this review and just put them down on the review list? Maybe, if I didn't have so many hangups.)

With the list of Black women artists, well, I did pull a few of them out for review already: Melba Liston, Noname, Ledisi, Joan Armatrading, Sharon Jones, Leona Lewis, and Fefe Dobson. However, I did not realize from going through once how much I loved Mary J. Blige, and that first time around I completely missed Stephanie Mills. 

Those all have the same point, and it relates to wanting to go back through all of the previous musicians reviewed too (Emi Meyer was #628). I have previously written about feeling like I am in transition; the question becomes what will I take with me? I have learned and discovered a lot over these past few years; what am I keeping?

There is so much I don't know about what is coming. Remembering may also have a more desperate importance to me now. Maybe I will end up being a writer who writes nothing but different metaphors for dementia. There are potentially many.

For now I can only see a few steps ahead, but I will take them.

I can't even...

That title should probably be for an angrier or at least more astounded post. It's not, but saying "I can't" does give me some serious consternation, and I can't.

When I was planning on re-doing Black History month, of course that was going to include reviewing more Black artists. I easily had enough artists that I have been wanting to get to.

If you have been keeping track, you know that my posting is getting more irregular. The band reviews have been slightly more regular, but still falling behind. There were three more artists that I intended to do in May and there just wasn't time, for listening or for writing it up. Frankly, I have not been happy with the writing quality of my recent posts either.

At this point, the best I can do musically is come up with daily songs.

It is also not surprising for anyone that I am behind in reading, and that before really starting my Black History month reading I am still working on nine more books about gender and violence, four more on Native American Heritage, six on education that will be an important addition to the themes of this recent Native American Heritage reading, plus five more books on death and grief, and about twenty-three books for Asian-American and Pacific Islander heritage. And although I am not trying to finish my post-election reading before any of them because that is its whole own thing, it did feel very important to get to the Nazi segment because when I think people are saying the same things Hitler said I want to be sure, but that involves two long and factually dense books and two terrible books written by Hitler and it is not going fast!

(So sometimes when I am frustrated at how slowly I progress, I should probably stop and remember that I am overly ambitious.)


When it took me too long to get to my 2014 Native American Heritage reading, I ending up deferring on the books, and watching a bunch of documentaries:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2015/09/native-american-heritage-month-2014.html

I am doing something similar here. Instead of trying to read any of the slated books, I am going to be watching several movies by Black directors, and catch up on some other media.

If I am not writing music reviews, maybe I can get to writing about some of these books that I have read, or that I am going through now. For one thing, I had read some of the slated books. For my children's literature I wanted to focus on the illustrations of Sean Qualls and I am currently on the last of those selections. It has not gone the way I intended, but what ever does?

I have also read one of the poetry books I had planned on, and maybe some other poetry will sneak in over this next month. That could be okay.

But always there is that frustration: I feel like I should be able to do more, and do it faster. I really hate that I can't.

Except I am learning more all of the time, and understanding more. I have better answers for complex questions when I get asked.

(So sometimes when I am frustrated at how slowly I progress, I should probably stop and remember what I have done, not just what remains undone.)

Anyway, I hope there will be posts about books and illustrations and movies.

I hope.

Juneteenth, Black Music Month, and Queen Sugar

February - regular Black History month - was unusually bad this year for the number of blackface photos surfacing. Maybe there can't be any great news for any marginalized group under this current administration, but there was a general feeling that it would be good to have a do-over.

Some people had suggested starting on Juneteenth and then going through for 31 days. June is Black Music month anyway, so it would take in part of that, and have some good cookout weather. Also, it can elevate the 4th of July, because Independence Day should mean more than it does, especially under this administration.

Anyway, I don't know what other people are doing, but from today through July 22nd, my daily songs will be from Black artists, and I will also be posting a daily article focusing on Black history. I will sum those up at the end of the month, but I think I am going to try and focus on individuals rather than events. We will see. I don't have all of the songs planned out other, but I am sure around Blues Fest time there will be some zydeco.

Musically I am kicking things off with a trio of songs from Mary J. Blige. You may remember from my review of her in February that there was a section off of Stronger With Each Tear that I thought was just perfect, so that seems like a nice kickoff to the month.

There are some other parts to how I will be commemorating the month, but those have to do more with my inadequacies so I will just push them off to a later post. Today is a celebration.

Therefore, let me say how happy I am that Queen Sugar is back.

There were some really nice touches in the season premiere, like Tevin Campbell as Cousin Junior, and a hearing-impaired woman and translator in the audience right before Charlie's award presentation went South. And boy, did that go South!

Nova is wrong with how she is doing things, but I get why she is being wrong in this way. I can feel sympathy for her, but more for the others.

However, most of all, before all of this happened I am glad for the sheer joy that we got to see before that. Yes, that is especially with the opening of Vi's Prized Pies, but also Vi and Hollywood shopping and happy, and Ra running and jumping for joy to have his parole completed. Dramas have to drama, but there needs to be balance and relief too, and this was glorious.

Tomorrow: the things that I can't do, and the things that I am doing instead.

Band Review: Emi Meyer

I meant to publish the Emi Meyer review a week ago, on the 7th, but an internet outage set me back. In this case it works out, because Meyer released a new album, Wings, on June 12th, and I have been able to listen to it.

I became aware of Meyer due to some collaboration with Shing02, so was not at all surprised to hear a strong jazz influence in her work.

It is there, but her music is not limited to jazz. Some songs have a more pop influence, perhaps most noticeable on her 2014 release, Seiichi Nagai. Galaxy's Skirt, from 2013, might fit more into adult contemporary.

I don't intend to get too hung up on genre, often not the most useful way of understanding music. I mention it only because I appreciate the way that you can hear different themes and threads, and yet within the catalog the artist always sounds like herself. Her identity appears to be firm, and liberating. It allows for a fair amount of playfulness, and contemplative seriousness, and heartbreak.

There is plenty to explore.

http://emimeyer.com/

https://www.facebook.com/EmiMeyerMusic/

https://www.youtube.com/user/PlanktonMusicVideo/

https://twitter.com/emimeyer

Band Review: Kosmic Renaissance

Last May I reviewed Shing02, and noticed two other associated acts, Emi Mayer and Kosmic Renaissance.


https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2018/05/band-review-shing02.html

I had not realized the time gap between them. Emi Meyer (tomorrow's review) has releases as far back as 2008, with her most recent album in 2017. (Her collaborations with Shing02 seem to be from 2010.)

On the other hand, Kosmic Renaissance's main period of activity seems to have been back in 2005. With a focus on improv, there are some recordings of live performances, but there do not appear to be any studio albums.

This has also meant a lack of information. Their most solid source of individual information is a MySpace page, with some entries on Youtube and Soundcloud under Tabla Jazz. Anything I could find, I am linking to down below.

From the live recordings, it is very much a feeling of jazz improv, except that there is very little swing influence. Instead, it is more of a techno focus. That impression could be driven by the accompanying light show, but I also think working with the lights gives a different mindset to the performance. That has a concrete influence on how the music comes out.

With Shing02 on keyboards, Sameer Gupta on percussion, and David Boyce on saxophone, the trio is musically strong, and the collaboration is interesting. It isn't catchy where I want to listen to it again and again, but I don't think it's supposed to be. If they wanted to be that kind of band, they wouldn't have done improv.

Remembering Shing02 from my previous listening, there was always an exploration of boundaries, and what could be crossed and combined. Based on that, Kosmic Renaissance makes sense and fills a role.

And you can find a few recordings if you try.

https://myspace.com/kosmicrenaissancemusic

https://soundcloud.com/tablajazz/kosmic-renaissance-shing02-david-boyce-sameer-gupta-sendai-japan-2005

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8tkrR0DPz5UDVDT_MJZRcw

https://www.amazon.com/Kosmic-Renaissance/e/B002E3VETW

A month of food selfies

I have now completed my second month of themed selfies.

In many ways it was like March, the month of book selfies. Mainly, it started to feel tedious long before it was over, but also I did start thinking about content more, and I found ways to have fun with it.

It also showed me how much the theme makes me more aware, because on June 1st, freedom from that constraint meant not taking any photos and then remembering after I was already getting ready for bed.

(And May and March were specifically chosen as months with 31 days so I really had to commit.)

May was also more profound than March, because I was going up against taboo. There are no secrets about me reading a lot, or that including children's books and non-fiction and all sorts of things. There can be some serious stigma for a fat woman admitting that she eats.

I mean, surely it could be figured out, but still, it feels like I am not supposed to admit it. Perhaps I should be ashamed. 

I may have even thought of it as a chance to show that I do not exclusively eat "bad" foods. I do try and create nutritious and balanced meals (though money and stress haven't been doing me any favors lately).

Like any series of selfies, at first there was hesitation and then it ended up being just that this is me. Take me or leave me.

Sometimes I look better, other times worse, but that is all my life and I don't owe attractiveness to anyone. I do some things well; others not so much.

And sometimes I am in a rut, but there is still variety and I try to get the pictures to show it.

This is a hard year, with I suspect some really hard things coming up, and it was a concern; do I want to take a picture when things are absolutely terrible? No, but the purpose of this isn't about wanting to take pictures.

Looking ahead to what might really hurt, I have decided that I might take pictures daily but wait a week to catch up on posting them. As minor as it is, it feels better to have a plan for how to deal with that.

Regardless, it is all just me, and I can live with her.

In the kitchen

I have really been wanting to blog.

I mean, I have successfully gotten some band reviews and travel reviews up, so it hasn't been a total void, but actually writing about me and sharing that has felt important and also impossible.

The last time I tried, I was also trying to get a lot of baking done. I was not specifically doing it because I was depressed, though there were ways in which it felt pretty appropriate.

I had gotten the ingredients for another batch of Kodiak cookies, which had been really popular the last time I made them. Then a family that we love lost a mother and grandmother (and great-grandmother - just one person, but different roles) and I wanted to do something.

It started that I was going to make a large batch of pumpkin bread and a double batch of cookies, working on them right before making dinner. Then someone unexpectedly came by, meaning I needed to change dinner plans. No baking happened that day.

The next day I got started again, but I didn't have as much time to soften the butter. I decided to just give it a tiny bit of microwaving, which I miscalculated.

I was worried that it was too soft looking at it, but it was still holding it shape. Well, that became less and less true the more I mixed. This was not going to be ideal for baking.

Fortunately, even though melting does completely alter butter, apparently you can do a reasonable facsimile of undoing the damage if you put the too-liquid cookie dough into the fridge and let it firm up a bit. The next day I baked them and they were fine.

It feels like there was one more thing that went wrong and delayed things, but maybe that was just all the time spent indecisive and unsure. (Is pumpkin bread really the right thing to take for mourning?)

I eventually ended up with three loaves of pumpkin bread (two from scratch, one from a mix), one of banana bread, two of regular bread, and the double batch of cookies.

Uncertain ideas, indecisiveness, and false starts - but always good intentions - sounds  a lot like my blog right now.

Mom is getting worse. She requires more attention and takes more patience, and there is less gratification. I don't blame her for that, but I still feel it. I am often overwhelmed and sometimes angry, but mainly I am just sad. Oh, and also tired.

But sometimes things still get done, whether that is a fresh blog post or fresh bread.

Life goes on.

Concert Review: Gogol Bordello

I saw Gogol Bordello at the Crystal Ballroom Saturday night.

This was my second time seeing them. The last time I had never heard of them, and had no idea what it was going to be like. It ended up reminding me a lot of a circus.

(I think this may have been a 2010 appearance at the Roseland, but am not positive. I wasn't doing reviews yet.)

Part of the circus atmosphere came from two backup singers that did some dancing too. Although it was not at that level of contortion, there were some things about them that reminded me of Cirque du Soleil.

They were not there this time, but there is so much dancing and energy and jumping around from everyone else that it is still pretty much the party that it was. It may feel like everyone on the stage is more musically necessary, but they are also dancing as they play.

The energy from everyone is amazing, but especially notable from singer and guitarist Eugene Hütz. He reminded both me and my friend of Iggy Pop (another show we have seen together). They have a similar wiry intensity, though I think they convey different moods.

The mood at the Crystal was euphoria. I had no idea that Gogol Bordello was so popular in Portland. The place was packed and the crowd jumped and raised their fists and sang along, even if they only really knew the "Hey"'s.

I'm glad I got a chance to write them up.

http://www.gogolbordello.com

https://www.facebook.com/gogolbordello/

https://www.youtube.com/user/GogolBordello

https://twitter.com/gogolbordello

Concert Review: Nu-Folk Rebel Alliance

I saw Nu-Folk Rebel Alliance open for Gogol Bordello Saturday night at the Crystal Ballroom. There was a great deal of confusion.

Their sign just said NuFolk. Searching on that brings up more information about the term as a genre, and not this particular band. Searching on NuFolk in conjunction with Gogol Bordello brought up the Rebel Alliance. It is probably best to use the full name when searching for more information.

(Sometimes there is no dash, but the F is still capitalized. Also, if you search only on Rebel Alliance you get Star Wars-based results.)

In addition, early in the show I thought I recognized one of the members of the opening band on stage with Gogol Bordello. Headliners do invite supporting acts on stage sometimes, but then I kept seeing him and wondering if maybe there were just two people who looked alike. In fact, Pedro "El Criollito" Erazo is in both bands. I have seen that happen too, but not as often.

One of NuFolk's releases is a tribute to The Clash. They covered a few Clash songs, and I was sort of thinking of them as the world music Clash. That is not terrible, but I prefer punk Clash. Because of that, I preferred their original music (which I am assuming is original but could involve covers of bands I do not know).

Information is hard to track down. I found two links, for Youtube and Bandcamp, but neither one is exclusively for Nu-Folk Rebel Alliance. This is why I cannot confirm whether the other guy is in Gogol Bordello as well. I thought it was possible, but now I think he is from Escarioka, one of the other bands from the Bandcamp site, and one that I liked.

(If so, I believe he goes by Leo Minimum Tek.)

All I can really say for sure that has not already been said is that they do have a non-Clash song called "Alicia", for which there is a video, and I liked it.

Remember bands, it doesn't hurt to have at least one clearly searchable landing page with accurate information.

https://maximumcollabo.bandcamp.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnBswRcWR55jKyHN3MLGifg

Band Review: MILCK

I really loved MILCK, more than I was hoping.

She ended up on the review list because of reading about "Quiet", and its performance at the Women's March. Those things are important to me.  That being said, I was not expecting a song called "Quiet" and about not being able to stay quiet to nonetheless have such a quiet energy.

MILCK uses the phrase "gentle rebel" on her web site. Yes, the music is affirming, and encourages strength in resistance, but it is done with great kindness and gentleness.

For me, that means feeling understood by "Undercover" and "Black Sheep", soothed by "A Little Peace" and hopeful that some day "Oh My My (What A Life)" will come true for me too.

https://milckmusic.com/

https://www.facebook.com/MILCKMUSIC/

https://www.youtube.com/milckmusic

https://twitter.com/milckmusic

Band Review: Katherine Ho

I wanted to review Katherine Ho after Will Yu mentioned her rendition of "Yellow" as featured in the movie Crazy Rich Asians.

On my first search, I didn't find a lot of information. An actress with the same name slightly complicates things. Then I saw that she was from The Voice too. That should have meant a lot more information, but I mainly found tweets about montages and ghosting that don't seem to bode well.

That's a shame. Katherine has a wonderful voice and a sweet personality comes through the videos. Much of what is available are covers, but I love her cover of The Cardigans' "Love Fool" and her cover of "Yellow" is infinitely better than the Coldplay version.

A little organization would probably be helpful. While Ho does have her own Youtube channel, there are other scattered performances that can only be found by searching. It does not include this lovely team-up with other musicians, "What's Wrong?":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAsh2QC0o4s&feature=youtu.be

There should be more coming, and I hope there is. For now, what is here is worth checking out.

https://www.facebook.com/iamkatherineho

https://www.instagram.com/katho.de/?hl=en

https://www.youtube.com/user/singerkho

https://twitter.com/iamkatherineho

Band Review: Don't Believe in Ghosts

Continuing with this week's theme of new bands featuring people from previously reviewed bands, Dan DelVecchio - formerly of Face the King - is now in Don't Believe in Ghosts, an alternative band from New York.

Don't Believe in Ghosts has a nice balance of jam and poignancy.

From the wistful "Don't Wake Me Up" to the frustrated "Everyone I Know is Going Crazy", the content is often quite downbeat. The most on the nose song title is "Nothing I Could Do Is Ever Good Enough for You", practically emo in its fatalism.

Musically, though, the songs are fun. There is a mood lifting energy with good instrumentation. The intro on "Slow Down" is downright pretty.

The band currently has just a few hometown dates scheduled, but with "Don't Wake Me Up" having just been released in February, it seems probable that more music is on the way.

It's worth spending some time exploring.

https://www.facebook.com/DBIGhosts/

https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCv2jcBKWs_HeYitKL5U317A

https://twitter.com/DBIGhosts

Band Review: Call of All

I recently noticed Cody Webb listed a second band in his profile. Ages Apart was reviewed in August 2015, but Call of All released War & Illusion in 2017, and now that I know that I thought I should check that out.

Call of All is an alt-rock band that doesn't give a location but seems to have Southern rock ties. There are some definite similarities, like an affinity for Daughtry, but my strongest impression comes from their track "All For You".

Lyrically it reminds me of "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" by Bryan Adams. Musically, it has been through the '90s where grunge added grit and grime. It doesn't really change the sentiment, but it does update.

(Of course, love and music are both essentially timeless, or should be.)

The album's title track is probably a better song overall, with deeper themes and more demonstrated technical proficiency, but it is the emotional connection that opens the door.

Either song would be a good starting point, but with just seven tracks for a total of 25 minutes, listening in its entirety is not a terrible way to get to know the band.

http://callofall.com/

https://www.facebook.com/callofall

https://www.youtube.com/callofall

https://twitter.com/callofall

Band Review: Jon Magnusson

Jon Magnusson's tunes were often very catchy, but I also didn't love them. That led to some frustration.

The music has a folk feel, but enhanced with additional instruments.The vocals are sometimes a bit flat, which could be due to an accent; I noticed it less when the songs were in Swedish.

My favorite of all of the tracks was "Det Stoltaste Av Lag" which had a compelling energy. Otherwise, many of the songs were kind of downers -  a common issue with folk - and at least one was anti-religious enough to irritate me.

At the same time, there are intricate guitar melodies and a pleasant disposition coming through the music. I can imagine many people enjoying it. I didn't hate it; I just didn't like it enough to enjoy the resulting earworms.

https://www.jonmagnusson.se/

https://www.youtube.com/c/jonmagnusson

https://twitter.com/jonmagnussonof

Blast from the past

There has been some chatter lately about the current guy winning on Jeopardy!, who is catching some attention with his large winnings, a result not just of his domination of the board but also his large wagers.

I don't like him, mainly for his mannerisms and jumping around. I eventually grew somewhat fond of Arthur Chu after he stopped playing, so anything is possible, but right now I really do not like him.

Anyway, that led to some discussions on Jeopardy! and questions, and I realized that for all of the photos that were lost in my hard drive crash, I had my photo with Alex Trebek saved in e-mail. I posted it for Throwback Thursday, and got a big response.

The most surprising thing was I kind of thought of it as old news. I did it, let people know I was doing it, and had ten blog posts about it after it aired. (The blog series starts at https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-lost-on-jeopardy-baby.html.) Lots of people told me they watched. I hadn't realized that there were people I wasn't in touch with yet then, and even some people I didn't know then. It becomes interesting looking back at what has changed.

First of all, it's much easier to catch your friends on game shows now. I mean, I don't know how easy it is for your friends to get on different game shows, but with Facebook and DVRs, it is a lot easier to see any appearances. I have friends from college where both the husband and wife were on Jeopardy!, but I didn't know because it happened before both of those developments. (Obviously we are excited for when their child gets old enough to try out.) My junior high locker partner plugged her phone into her DVR and grabbed the saved recording of the show and put it on Youtube. There are ways in which social media has made the world smaller, DVRs have totally made entertainment more convenient, and phones and other internet-connected devices do a lot more. All of those technologies have potential drawback, but there are good possibilities.

Also, it's weird to look back at me then. Yes, I was employed (almost gainfully employed, even), but I had not been out of my first round of unemployment for that long. When I got the call to come on the show, we were celebrating one year at the new job, both of Mom's knees had been replaced, the house had been refinanced, and I had given up on working with that one writing partner. Several things that had been a huge source of stress were finally resolved. All the creativity had been wrung out of me, but I was at least able to breathe again.

Of course I'd had high hopes for a big win, and that didn't work out. It was a letdown, but it was still an adventure, and I still remember it fondly.

I was blogging, but that was before daily songs and band reviews and finding it in me to write again. It wasn't that far away. I taped my show in September 2011, it aired October 31st, and my creative resurgence happened shortly after Valentine's Day 2012. That next year was really magical.

And it was followed by hard times too. I am unemployed again, and even with some signs of my mother's memory problems then, there was so much that we could never have predicted. I got the writing kicked out of me again, though I think it's starting to build back up. Currently a lot of things are just wait and see.

With all of the ups and downs, it has been a ride. I suspect it will remain bumpy, and I will ride that out too.

Band Review: Nawias

Nawias is a rapper and producer based in Poland.

While many of the mixes are good, there is an overabundance of information with little guidance for how to find what you need.

This especially seemed like a lost opportunity on the Youtube channel, where a little organization could have worked well for advertising beats and services.

Even knowing that there were some tracks that I liked, going back and finding them would be difficult.

https://soundcloud.com/nawias

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAdiHiEKCasqqkQKsFb-FLw

https://twitter.com/prodbynawias

Facebooked

I really meant to have a Wednesday post.

I thought that even if I am not blogging daily, I could still maybe do one sometime between Monday through Wednesday for non-music topics, then do a review on a Thursday or Friday. It would still have some correlation with my old system.

Then Wednesday was a shockingly terrible day.

I am not writing about that now. I am just glad it appears to have been an aberration, and not a plunge into a bad new normal. It did really throw things off, reminding me that I can plan all I want, but there are strong elements of unpredictability in my life.

I suppose it is a good lesson, because I have been frustrated with some entities that are reactive when they should be proactive, and whoops! Sometimes reactive is the best you can do.

Also, it is a reminder that I have limited time, especially in the way I use Facebook. That's what I want to write about.

I can't sit at my computer all day, which has a lot of good things about it. Even if I joined the 21st century and got internet on my phone, it would not be helpful to have my face glued to the phone all day.

In addition, I recently created a Facebook profile for my mother. Literally, I did it three days ago.

I did it to try and help her feel more connected. Once a day we log in and I show her things and we look down her feed. I'm not sure how much it will help, but it was something to try. So far she has found it kind of interesting.

It also means that even part of my time on Facebook is not for me. Since it is time that I am spending on her, I probably would not be on the computer then anyway. Her profile is not taking away from my personal time or computer time; that's just the disease.

(Although her profile has attracted some new people to me, which does relate to the next bit.)

It is hard keeping up with the news, though it is still important to me and I make it happen. It is still important to share.

It also remains important to me to not let uninformed replies stand. Some of you may be familiar with my bulldog-like tenacity in holding to points. It just may be hours before I see something now.

I know people are used to instantaneous response in this day and age. I cannot currently provide it.

There are some frustrations with that. I think the primary thing that may be noticeable is that I am going to be somewhat harsher. I used to work really hard to avoid the word "stupid". It can be incendiary, and it is hard to appeal to a person's better nature by insulting them. I know that, and I am nonetheless going to be holding back less.

You might think that I am putting so much patience into care-giving that I don't have any left for Fox News watchers, but that's not really it. It's more of a combination of seeing that they tend not to change their minds anyway. If the point of taking the long way around is to get them on your side, it's not a great point. If I can make them think, great. If I can only be frustrating, I will take that.

A friend of my sisters recently posted something that ultimately was saying that the votes of rural people should count more (it was electoral college-related). I don't think she really meant that; but all of these counties can't be wrong! The thing is, the data was also wildly inaccurate, and she specifically said she had checked the numbers.

Now, accurate numbers would still have given her the majority she intended, and I think it's worse that she didn't check the logic than that she didn't check the numbers, but still, she was lazy and lying and then got mad that every time she even tries to post something on Facebook people jump all over her. Except that most of her corrections were being pretty gentle. I get that it's not fun being called wrong, but surely it's better to learn from it than to stay wrong.

But they don't! That's why I'm not going to spend a lot of time coddling. I remember one long thread where one person finally accepted - after screen shots of federal regulations - that undocumented immigrants don't collect welfare. I don't think it changed her political mindset at all, and I would not be surprised if she ended up "forgetting" the one little fact she stopped fighting.

Here's the thing: "fake news" is an old strategy borrowed from the Russians, and the point isn't to discredit any one story, but to discredit all stories. When you are skeptical about everything and nothing can be known to be true, then nothing matters and no one is good. Well, some people get elevated to a weird kind of savior-status that I don't get at all, but most people are bad.

It's a lie. It's a bunch of lies, actually, and it all matters. There is real suffering going on, and there are people trying to do good things, and it all matters.

I care about it so much I should be arriving in a cloud car from Care-A-Lot. This is neither fun nor relaxing, but it's how I am and I don't regret that.

Unfortunately, stupid stuff may sit on my page for a few hours before I have a chance to get to it, but that leads to another really good thing. I have smart and caring friends that will sometimes school you when I don't have the time.

Thank you especially Kristen and Pauli. You know why.

Band Review: Patient Zero

Patient Zero calls her music cyberpunk, so I am going to go with that.

I was thinking of it more as dance/club music, but the computer influence is strong, in both music and video. Computers sometimes also affect the vocals, lending growls and distortion to the grittiness. It is easy to imagine the music as a soundtrack for some slick dystopian movie. (And since you could argue that we are now living in a not-so-slick one...)

That catalog is impressively large, with the downside of that being that the music tends to blend together. However, one of the singles, "Dwarf Hole", while seemingly less to the point lyrically does give a pretty good idea of the potential funk.

For a starting place with albums, Paracide is the most recent, released in 2018, but I think for me 2013's Artifice and 2015's Transgressor stood out more.

Another approach would be to start out via Youtube playlists, with 31 videos that can give you an overview.

The obvious upside of a large catalog is that if any of these starting points tell you that this is your thing, you will have a lot to explore.

https://patientzero.bandcamp.com/

https://www.youtube.com/user/artistK

https://twitter.com/DoctorKraft

A month of book selfies

About two months ago I wrote about not being satisfied with my selfies, especially due to a sense of repetition. I had some thoughts for shaking things up:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2019/02/selfie-aware.html

Having now completed the first idea - a month of book selfies -  I once again have great concerns about how repetitious they are.

In an effort to shake things up I tried different poses and locations. One book had "jump back" in the title, so I tried jumping back while taking the photo. The first time I didn't time it right, the second time I did but the picture was quite blurry. I have never been an award-winning photographer.

That doesn't make it a waste. It has gotten me thinking more about shot composition, and there is the sheer value of setting a goal and making it.

I do feel that the ways in which my life is most interesting are now largely internal, which is hard to photograph. And yet, I don't take the selfies to be interesting; I do it to assert my own worth and to remember who I am and that I matter as that person. Posting is an important part of that, though, and since I am posting I feel like they should be interesting. It creates a pressure that may not be necessary but then makes me think more deeply.

Anyway, I probably will go through other themes, but I will not do themes every month.

The other thing you have probably noticed is that I have not been posting regularly.

I have written enough about current time constraints and concerns that I suspect any regular readers can figure out that days without posting just mean that I am busy, which is always true.

It is also true that right now I am in the middle of learning so much that I kind of worry that anything big I write about, I won't do a good enough job on yet. That may not be a reason to avoid all topics, but then the time constraints come up again. My mother is starting to need more time, and it has to come from somewhere.

One blogging concern has been some musicians for review with huge catalogs, where I don't know if I can even give enough listening time. Giving up reviewing music does not feel like an acceptable loss. However, I can get through some of them this month, only reviewing one a week instead of two, and then see how it goes. Mom likes music; I may just need to find a way to include her, at least if the bands are any good.

The leads to one more concern, with a sub-concern. It occurred to me that all of the blogging gaps will probably lead to reader loss. The days where I didn't end up posting until around midnight were already not great for page hits.

I could almost shrug that off, because my blogging is still primarily for me. However, the band reviews can kind of be helpful for the bands, and having a smaller audience could make my reviews less helpful.

I'm going to not worry about that one too much, because it seems that the music reviews and the other posts have somewhat different audiences. I don't think I'm getting anyone signed, and recording contracts don't mean what they used to anyway.

There was still this nagging feeling that if I do have important things to say, should I try and cultivate an audience? Applying for a one-time live-tweeting thing, it occurred to me that there are some advantages to increasing follower counts. I do know things I could do to increase that, except that I like that my social media is built on relationships.

Weighing this conflict of whether I should try and keep readers led to this kind of bitter thought that with everything else I am losing, why wouldn't I lose that? Most of the losses that have already hit have been financial in some way, but there are these pieces of loss that are going to culminate in one really big loss. I don't know if a reader base even counts against that.

Except, it could be something that matters in the future, that part that is unknown. Which brings me back to another earlier post:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2019/02/in-between-some-things-but-not-zombie.html

It goes back to the liminality. I am in between things. I might have an idea about what is on the other side, but they are only guesses. Anything I shed off now, I might not even need then. If there are other things I will need, then I believe I will somehow manage to hold on to them, or to find them again later.

What though the sea with waves continuall   
Doe eate the earth? it is no more at all:          
Ne is the earth the lesse, or loseth ought:   
For whatsoever from one place doth fall   
Is with the tide unto another brought:   
For there is nothing lost, that may be found if sought.   

-- Edmund Spenser

Band Review: Koppige

Koppige makes and mixes dance music in the Netherlands.

Okay, I am assuming it is supposed to be dance music based on the beat; there is very little artist information available. It pulsates with a beat you could dance to.

There is a deeper tone to it than I find with a lot of dance music. On one level it reminds me of the growls that frequently came with post-core. I think it allows the music to pair well with sci-fi. Like maybe when the angst gets filtered through techno, it references a sleek dystopia.

I don't know if that's what he was going for, but that's what I got.

https://www.facebook.com/k0ppige/

https://www.youtube.com/user/wendell16

https://twitter.com/k0ppige