Selfie-aware

I am hating my pictures this time around.

The first time I did it, it took me about three months to start feeling good about my photos, but the second time it only took about three weeks. It appears that I have lost ground.

On the most shallow level, my unhappiness focuses on the roundness of my face and the total lack of cooperation from my hair, which has been sadly neglected.

I am thinking about going back to cutting my own hair, because if it comes to a choice between that and Supercuts (or something like them), I do a better job. I can only manage short hair, though, and that won't be flattering to this round face.

On a somewhat less shallow level, I suppose part of the dissatisfaction is how out of control everything feels. Trying to track down issues from my mother's hospitalization - which is now eight months ago - has led to a lot of appointments. That means bills - copays add up really quickly - but in a way the appointments are worse just for the time. Arranging the transportation is one stress, but going to appointments is something that gets in her mind. Even when the news is good, or at least not bad, it unsettles her. I am pretty patient with answering the same questions over and over again, but for medical things it doesn't allay the worry. So there's that.

Some of my stress right now is book-related. I try to pace myself appropriately with book checkouts, but there are things that can throw you. One of them is that sometimes my brain just won't accept any new information. Another is inter-library loan.

It is impossible to predict when the ILL books will come through. This is a common problem with the local library books that have multiple holds. Beyond that, it is also impossible to predict how long you will have to read them. One book that was picked up Friday is due Sunday. In general the program has broadened my book access a lot, but right now I have two books due Friday (I finished one of them today), one Sunday, and one next Thursday, and it may not be impossible to renew them, but it is not easy. (There are other books, but I am mainly stressing over those four.)

Obviously that is one reason for all the book selfies.

That leads to another thing that I am thinking about, is that maybe my selfies need to be more interesting. This is largely a reaction to a series of shots very close together where every single one was taken after I had gotten ready for bed and then remembered.

I have been thinking about doing monthly themes. Different concepts I have considered have included a month of book selfies, a month where every shot is outdoors, a month with shots of food, a month with products I like, and maybe selfies round the clock. That would probably not be a full 24 hours, but I could do 16. (I can't imagine being committed enough to wake myself up after I have gone to sleep.)

I had also thought about a month of selfies with other people, but that would probably just be a month of shots with my mother, and maybe a few other people if I try really hard. I could do more variety with animal selfies, because I only have one mother, but there are six pets, Still, that would probably annoy them a lot. Five of them are cats.

As pointless as this is, then I get interested and kind of excited, because it is something that I can do. Any (or all) of those months would take some effort and remembering, but they are doable, and easy compared to other things.

But the inter-library loan books have a special sleeve, so they all look the same in the book selfies,