Love stings – 308

One of my Facebook friends is in love. By Facebook friend, I mean someone whom I already knew, but am really only in touch with due to Facebook. This mainly covers people from high school, a few from church who are no longer in my ward, and a handful from work and college. I like them, I care about them, but we would not be in touch on a regular basis without social networking.

In the past, I would only see these people if we happened to run into each other, and then we would exchange pleasantries and catch up, but it would only be general. Now, because we can all update each other quickly and simultaneously, I know what lots of them are doing for jobs and relationships and children, and have viewed current pictures. This is interesting, and a lot of fun.

There is also some heartache with it. Two of my old classmates have children with really fragile health, and there have been divorces and deaths of parents, and unemployment. We offer each other support, which tends to feel inadequate, but it is something real. Actually, I had a dream the other night where I was discouraged with my efforts to make it as a screenwriter. I was with Becky, one friend whom I had not been in touch with until recently. She handed me a card, and it was signed by at least thirty people. The names that I could see (reading in dreams is really hard) were also Facebook friends. It reflects real life. People have been very supportive about my job and my writing and pretty much everything I put out there. It does give us some community.

So, the point of that is, without Facebook, I would never know that he was in love. It was interesting, because I have been observing him for a while, and I could tell he was lonely. It was usually hidden in self-deprecating humor, but it was still there. I could also see by other things that he wrote, about himself and to others, that he was a very good guy (we weren’t close in high school, and there was some awkwardness, so I hadn’t seen this side of him).

What was a revelation then, as he started to share the relationship, was how much of a romantic he is. It is kind of fun to see, and touching, but it also left me with one fervent wish: Please don’t hurt him.

Now that both parties have come out of the closet, and admitted they are dating each other, I feel much better about it, but it was an interesting reaction, and probably also influenced by other Facebook activity.

Remember E, from July? At that time I wrote that it was probably just as well he did not seem to be interested in me, because along with other complications, he had just gotten out of a long-term, stifling relationship, and could probably use some time on his own. Well, he had some time, and then recently he started dating someone again, and it became evident through posts and pictures. It seemed good, they looked happy, and then suddenly, it was over (by her instigation if I understood correctly). He’s a nice guy—
cute and funny and talented—I don’t want him hurt.
Then, another two friends are getting divorced (not from each other—I don’t know the spouses), and it hurts. So, for them, and for the lonely romantic who just find someone, I just keep wishing, don’t hurt them.

I am not being completely realistic. If a relationship is not working, that doesn’t always mean there is a villain there, and at least in E’s case, probably better now than ten years later, but still, it makes me sad.

This may involve some over-functioning on my part. Realistically, any single one of them has more relationship experience than I do, and should be able to successfully navigate the latest setbacks. They don’t need me to care. At the same time, it is nice that other people care that I am unemployed, and struggling (and that now I have muscle aches that I think are from stress, and a cyst growing out of my back that I guess could be stress, but it’s a little less typical). I do mentally think that all of us caring for each other is a good idea, but it’s a moot point anyway because it’s not really voluntary. If I decided it was stupid, and to stop, I probably couldn’t.

So we go on, writing cheerful notes and wishing each other well. I will pray for various people. I’m not sure how widespread that is, but a lot of people seem more religious now than they were then.

Ultimately, there is not a single one of them that I don’t think will survive the temporary heartbreak, and move on. Of the new couple, both of them had previous relationships that ended, and yet here they are starting a new one, fairly blissfully. Hope springs eternal.

Other than that, I did not win the first round of the Co-write contest (and frankly, I don’t think the winner is that great), I have eliminated about ten more agencies from the list I need to call, and I think my February screenplay will be the one where a first date that seemed promising quickly goes bad as the pair runs afoul of the powerful corn lobby.

For taxes, I should be getting a more regular schedule next week, and now I just need lots of customers. Anyone want your taxes done?