Updated – 309.5

I know I have let some time lapse. I had mentioned previously that I wanted to screenplay number four (Dark Secrets) to go quickly, because it was hard material and it was kind of brining me down. So, I concentrated really hard on writing that, and had some really long writing sessions, back-to-back, and in the process neglected journal writing, blogging, and things like that, and pretty much broke all of my new year’s resolutions except for the one about writing one screenplay a month.

It’s not as horrible as it sounds. I finished on the 21st, and have been catching other things up since then. I am planning on doing one rewrite on the 28th, and then a follow-up on the 31st, and then I should be fairly well done, with at least one aspect of my life on schedule. Ideally the next project will be lighter, and I can pace myself better.

Still, I love writing so much. It is so satisfying for me, and I feel myself getting better at it, in terms of being able to solve problems faster, and find the right words, and just give the time to it. I am really hitting my stride with it. Now all I need is a sale.

In other news, I have finished two levels of tax preparer certification. There is one test left, and it is a bear. I decided to try a quick run-through, and let myself fail if needed just to kind of scope it out, and I did not pass. Still, that is for higher-level returns, and I can do basic ones now and have actually completed my first one. Therefore, I have actually earned some money, for the first time since September. I’ll get that in February. I have no idea how much will be added to it. There is no guarantee of hours or returns, so there are a lot of factors, and I’m not sure how it’s going to go. Still, no one else is calling me, and most of the other people in the class have not done any returns yet, so I am lucky to have it.

In weight news, it looks like I have lost seven pounds over about two weeks after a plateau at 316. That is not how it went down at all. I had reached 311, and started going back up before the last time I posted, actually going all the way back up to 330. This was fluid retention related to me running out of my medicine. My blood sugar scores have been doing well, I was hoping I could manage without it, but I was wrong, and my scores were the least of the problem. Medco will not let you order without being part of a plan, but I learned that I could transfer the prescriptions to another pharmacy. I looked at Target and Costco, but Costco requires an application, and Target could turn things around in a day, so that is the way I went. Their pill prices are pretty good. The injectables are still too expensive, but they would be at Costco too.

I am grateful to be on them again, and to be back on track, but it is still pretty scary. Even if this tax thing does work out for income, it is seasonal and part-time, and there is no insurance. With my pre-existing conditions, purchasing a plan on my own would be horrendously expensive, even if I had money. So, that area is a real concern for me. If I sell a screenplay, I can join the Writers Guild of America, which functions like a union and there are health plans available, but it feels like such a long shot. To be fair, that still seems more probable than finding a regular job that I can live on.
Honestly, it’s just a tough time. The only reason the mortgage is not late and that I could get the medicine is because the church is helping me. I should be grateful for that. On one level I’m sure I am, but it is also killing my Sundays. I hate taking the bills in. I hate having to come back and get the checks. I hate feeling weird around Jeremy, and it is not his fault, but it is still there. I hate being a taker when I am used to being a giver. And I hate that the situation just keeps going on. To be fair, I know that a lot of my problem there is pride, which is exactly why I am even writing this. Doing so won’t necessarily turn me humble, but I can at least be actively working against the pride.

In other news, my birthday came and went. It was fairly disappointing. The only computer time I could get at the office was 9-12 on that day, so I was already getting up early and going into the office, which is not how I like either a Saturday or my birthday to start. Mom brought me a sausage mcmuffin, and those are normally delicious, but the egg on this one was all slippery, and the muffin had singed areas, which happened to include the part I ate last, so it left a charcoal flavor in my mouth for a few hours.

I got some errands done afterwards, but the part that was supposed to make everything better was that as my present, Mom had gotten me a ticket to go see the Bad Boys of Dance. I had seen the ad and not been particularly interested, but then I saw Jon Drake was with them, and he is great. When the ward talent show was announced for the same date, and I realized I would miss my yearly foray into stand-up comedy, that was kind of a bummer, but I was going to see a dance show, and it was going to be okay. Sadly, the show stunk.

I think I am going to post a full review of it, and write about dance in general. I should write about the inauguration too. I think I like writing about things better than updates like this, but maybe that is just context-dependent. I have committed to writing a Facebook note with tax tips, which I could post here, but that seems like overkill. If anyone reads the blog but is not on Facebook with me, and wants the tips, let me know. Mainly, I am trying to keep busy.

Anyway, that’s kind of where I’m at right now. It does not merely sound grim—it is grim—but I still know so many people who have been unemployed longer, or have sick kids or have lost parents, or something like that. In the collective sorrow bucket, mine is just a drop or two, but I could really use some good news.