These Dreams

I have had a few conversations lately about recurring dreams, and some of the non-recurring ones.

Now, I don’t buy a lot of the common symbolism of dreams, where different animals and colors mean specific things, because I think they tend to be more individualized than that, and there isn’t always deep meaning. I have had dreams that told me things I needed to know, but sometimes it is very clear that my brain is just sorting data out as all of the images of the day blend in weird ways.

That being said, there definitely are times when they provide a window into your mental or emotional or even physical state, and there are some common themes that tend to mean the same things for most people, and dreams that we have all had.

I actually got a new interpretation for the one where your teeth are falling out of your mouth, which is that you’re feeling not in control. That makes sense. I hate that dream, incidentally.

Actually, most of the recurring dreams aren’t really that great. Like that one where you’re back in school, and you don’t know where you’re class is, or you’re supposed to take a test and you are not prepared? The funny thing is, that tended not to happen in school—it’s adult life that leaves you feeling unprepared all the time.

You know what dream I used to have when I was younger that I never seem to get now? Flying. I could physically feel the sensation of soaring, but apparently it’s been a long time since I have been feeling free and unfettered.

One common motif for me, but I have not had it for a while, is that I will need to get somewhere and my way is blocked. Usually it is that the staircase is either blocked or upside down, but sometimes it’s both.

Another one has changed. McDonald’s was my first regular job, and working so many hours while going to school full-time and participating in a lot of activities led to me being sleep-deprived a lot, and I started having this dream where I knew on one level that I needed to wake up, but I had a line of customers and I had to help them first, and the line kept getting longer. Where the line was changed as my job changed, so I know that I have had it with both the McDonald’s drive-through, and the regular K-Mart checkout, and probably I have had it at Burlington Coat Factory too, but any time that my body was fighting to get me to sleep longer, there would be some set of tasks that I would need to complete. (This is smart strategy on my body’s part, because I hate leaving anything undone.)

Anyway, something interesting happened with that recently. I was pretty sleep-deprived, and I actually did wake up on time, but I fell asleep praying, so got out of that about half an hour later with sore knees. That was not cool (if you have to sleep late, stay in bed).

Anyway, the first task was that I was babysitting, and I needed to change a diaper, but the baby kept shrinking. Yes, I realize that sounds like I am having some issues with my biological clock ticking, which is odd, because I thought I had given up on that, but okay, it was not a completely blithe decision, so fine, we have some residual emotion. What was interesting though was that I was able, through sheer force of will, to get that baby diapered, and all it did was change the task, where I was also trying to complete a shower, and get things straightened up, and chase a toddler. So apparently getting things done is difficult with kids around. I have heard this. I can live with the ever-expanding task list, because I do, but it’s bad enough during the day—I don’t want to have to deal with that at night too. I guess I better avoid the sleep deprivation.

During one of these conversations, I complained because the annoying dreams are fine, but I used to also have interesting dreams with plots, and it had been a while. Actually, the last one I remembered had occurred in Mexico. I blame the Bimbi snack cake. We picked some up, mainly going by the cuteness of the pictures, and my sisters commented on the cute duckling, but no, it was a Gansino, which meant it was a gosling. I believe it was that which caused me to dream of Ryan Gosling that night. He saved me from going over a waterfall in a raft, and I since I had been kind of dismissive of him as a thoughtless womanizer earlier in the dream, I felt really guilty. I’m not even sure my comments were completely wrong, but still, he saved my life.

Anyway, oddly, the night after I made that complaint, I had a dream with a plot. It was clearly heavily inspired by Once Upon a Time, as I had gotten on the wrong side of the Evil Queen, apparently by helping Snow White get away. Because of this, I was going to have to eat the apple, but it was going to be worse because I did not have a true love to come save me, but she was gloating so much I was ready to just eat the apple anyway. Yes, clearly I do have some issues. And, it may be time for a little more delving. It can’t be rock and roll all the time.

So, there is one more recurring dream bit that makes me a bit optimistic. You know that other dream everyone hates, where you are naked pretty much anywhere you should not be naked? The common interpretation of this is that you are feeling vulnerable, which works for me, and I am getting better with that one. When it has come up lately, I have either been able to find some clothes and pull them on, or just be casual about it and keep functioning.

Technically I believe the ones where I function naked is healthier, because pulling clothes back on would seem to indicate covering the insecurities back up, rather than simply accepting one’s vulnerability, but I’ve got to tell you, being clothed is just always going to be more comfortable. However, it is nice to be okay with being open. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s not nearly the torture chamber that I once feared.