The time when not swearing may have kept me from getting arrested

My sisters and I had once planned a jam-packed day, involving the Oregon Historical Society, Pioneer Place, and the Portland Art Museum. I believe this happened when we were on our way to the museum.

Now, one of my downsides is that I just don’t walk fast. I can go for a long time, but slowly. The only person who has ever complained about me walking too fast is under five feet, which not only gives her a smaller stride than mine, but also leads to her always wearing high heels, which I never do. So unless you are tiny and trying to compensate, you will probably take an early lead.

This matters because even though my sisters will often stop and wait for me, they do end up ahead, and they were ahead as we were approaching one corner where there was a panhandler. I was close enough to hear him ask them for eighty cents, but not close enough to make the light, and they went ahead because they were embarrassed that they could not help, and did not want to be standing around awkwardly waiting for the light to change. I also heard him say, after their refusal, that maybe they could skip that doughnut. I had some things I wanted to say.

The first one would be that we are living in an increasingly cashless society, which may make things inconvenient for panhandlers but that’s the way of the world. My sisters never have cash.

Secondly, eighty cents is useless; you’re just naming such a low amount in the hopes that people will feel guilty that you are asking so little and give you something bigger.

Thirdly, you’re not even homeless. You are way too clean, with far too little sign of exposure, to truly be living on the street, and honestly based on your dress and your physical condition you don’t seem to be suffering too much, making me think that you’re just lazy, which leads to my fourthly, and this one is huge, IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A LEECH ON SOCIETY YOU BETTER BE A LITTLE MORE DEFERENTIAL TO THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY MAKE IT WORK!

I did not say any of these things, and the primary reason was that I could not think of any other way to start than “Hey A**hole!” I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, but I don’t talk that way, and the fact that I could not think of any way to say it that did mesh with my accustomed manner of speaking made me wonder if I might not be a little too ready to hit him. I am very protective of my sisters, and prejudice against the heavy, bad attitudes of bad people, and injustice in general are all kind of touch points for me, so it is not hard to imagine that there would have been some escalation. I should have threatened to sit on him. Yes, it’s playing into his stereotyping, but seriously, I know I could hurt him.

And no, he did not ask me for any money, even though he had an entire light change to do so. I have noticed that people often seem to instinctively know that certain things will not fly with me, and while this saves me a lot of aggravation, sometimes they really deserve the results that other people will not give them. (I have some other stories on that, but too many people who read this would know the principle characters.)

Anyway, the jerk’s spiteful sloth went unchallenged by me, and perhaps it was for the best. It does make one wonder what might happen if I ever start cursing. Maybe I shouldn’t be listening to so much rock music.