Goals and resolutions

Yesterday I wrote that seeing other people's Thanksgiving posts set me against doing it myself; seeing resolutions had a different effect. While I have never been big about setting official resolutions for the new year, those posts reaffirmed me being that way. I realized that I have had a lot of growth over the year, I have a lot of good things in my life, and I will just keep doing what I am doing. I did post that, and it felt good, but I was wrong. I realizes that something was missing, and while it was set into motion before New Year's Eve, I didn't know what to do with it until later.

December 27th I went to karaoke. A friend from school organized it, and another school friend came, as well as several nice people I had not previously met. I caught a ride home with Chantelle, the friend who was not the organizer.

We were talking about her children and school and picking courses, and I ended up reviewing my own academic shortcomings again. It was sort of logical, because a lot of my friends have gifted children. Worrying about them getting bored or lazy is a valid concern, and I know a lot about this one. However, then I ventured into talking about my math/science issues again, which I feel like I have done too much. So I am just going to blog about it now, because maybe that will get it out of my system, and also, it is germane to this post.

In sixth grade I took Intro to Algebra. We didn't call it that, but that's the class that was its equivalent at the junior high where I was going to go the next year. I was going to a different junior high than most of my class due to boundary changes. When I took the form to my math teacher, she did not see Algebra, so she said she guessed I would have to do Intro to Algebra since that was the highest offering for 7th graders. That didn't sound quite right, but I was not especially assertive.

(Actually, Chantelle, though she went to a different elementary school, had the same issue, but her teacher pursued it further and she ended up in Algebra. Also being in Orchestra threw off her schedule for other regular 7th year classes, so she ended up skipping a grade. )

I retook Intro to Algebra, and did very well. I did have bad study habits, and did not do homework in Algebra the next year. Although I passed the class with a C, my teacher still had me retake it, because she hated people not doing their homework. She did not count the homework in the grade, which was a big factor in my not doing it, but she thought people should do it anyway, and she was the type to hold grudges. I took Algebra a second time, and did very well. That year I did do homework, and I was better off with a different teacher, because seriously, the other one hated me. Anyway, that was two math years wasted.

Geometry was fine, I managed Algebra/Trig okay, but was starting to feel that it was hard, and then in Pre-Calculus it felt like I was just barely squeaking by. Later on I learned that with advanced mathematics the point is persistence; you have to keep trying and making mistakes before comprehension comes in. That would have been good to know.

The only other math class my high school offered beyond that was Calculus, and if I remember correctly, you had to bus to another school to do it. So, not having wasted two years wouldn't have gotten me too much farther along, except that I thought Statistics sounded interesting in college, but since it sounded very hard, and I had been struggling, and I did not need to take any math, I let it go. It shouldn't be important, except that it messed up my science. It did not have to be that way.

In junior high, it was Biology in 7th Grade, Earth Science in 8th Grade, and you could choose in 9th grade but I went with Field and Marine Biology. I ended up in Chemistry in 10th grade, and so it seemed reasonable to me to take AP Biology in 11th, and then take Physics my senior year. Since I favored Biology, I was always spacing out the other things.

I came in with this plan to my counselor, and really, I think she just wanted to feel like she was contributing something, because she suggested I switch Physics and AP Biology so that all my AP classes were together. It sounds insane loading AP classes together when you have the option to spread them out, and AP History was still going to be my junior year, but yes, I folded.

I could not keep up in Physics because of the math, and so I switched to Intro to Physics which was just concepts without the equations. A little bit later on, in Algebra/Trig we started doing the math that I didn't know how to do in Physics. Being further along in math, or sticking to my original plan, would have fixed it. As it was, by the time I got to AP Biology I was so overloaded with other AP classes and work that I dropped it.

Honestly, it was not terrible. I earned 51 college credits, though having both Writing 121 and the AP English test canceled out three of them. At University of Oregon the standard then was to take about 15 credits per term for three terms a year. So, I saved about a year of college tuition, which was huge. I would not have done a more science or math-oriented major in college regardless, so it should be fine, but it still bothers me, and I still find myself explaining it to people who do not need to know, now including readers of my blog.

I was thinking about this, and why I felt compelled to go over it all with Chantelle, and why it bothers me so much. One thing that bothers me is that I was such a pushover. I let people hold me back or give me bad advice when I knew better. There may be some value in that, for students and for their parents. With my parents, my father's family was always moving, and they were poor, and Mom went to school in Italy, so they didn't really know the ins and outs of being college-track. I figured out a lot of things later than was useful. If you can help your students lay out a good plan, and stick to their guns, that is great.

But the biggest thing, and this is where I think the actual peace-making comes in, is that I am just going to learn them now. There are books for this. I knew I could find books for the different math levels and physics, but I was worried about covering the right aspects of biology, because I don't remember what the class covered at this point. It turns out there is a For Dummies book specifically preparing for the AP Biology test. That will work.

I hate missing out on stuff, and I have felt shortchanged with this lack of knowledge, so I'm just going to go for it. Maybe I will review the AP Government and Economics materials too - I didn't score very high on those.

I know that I will still be more right-brained, and that in the future I will still read a lot more about history and literature than I will ever read about physics, but I do want more than I have, and what I want is attainable. That feels good.

I am not sure when this will start. Currently on deck for reading are five Native American Heritage month books, six Black History Month books, seven books for girls' issues, nine books about comics, and three miscellaneous, and I try not to be reading from more than two lists at a time. Still, it's coming and it's exciting, and it makes me feel better.

It also reminds me that deficiencies can be corrected, which leads to another thing: I am going to be keeping my eyes open for a pizza-making class. My family likes my pizza as is, but I know it would be better if I were not scared to toss the dough. I believe I could benefit with some instruction in technique, so that's on the radar too.

Driving gets re-evaluated after the next round of soul-searching. I would like it to be this year, but no guarantees. I have come up with a fake dating plan that right when I turn 50 I will sign up for Our Time, and then I will be the hot young thing. It's not a great fake plan, but I have no real dating plans at this time. It leaves more time for reading.