The selfie-taking continues. There were some shots
in October where I looked really happy, and a friend asked if it was working.
My first thought was "no", because I do
not like my looks any better. Sometimes I feel like I am getting uglier every
day. The purpose of the challenge is more to feel comfortable with your
appearance than to make you rate the appearance as better, so if I care less
about being ugly, that might count as working, but I still suspect that
"ugly" should not be coming to mind.
We'll probably have a few other chances to ponder
that before I complete the year of selfies on March 1st. For now, I think the
real reason those photos looked happier was Inktober. I'm not even saying I did
it right, but it was good for me.
"Inktober" encourages you to do one
drawing in ink every day in October. For comic book artists who do so much on
computer now, it is a reminder to return to ink and paper and whatever
nitty-gritty, tactile differences that makes. I don't fall under that.
I had already been thinking I wanted to set some
goal. I had been thinking maybe drawing a different superhero each day or
something, and then just as September was almost over I saw some references to Inktober,
looked it up, and found this:
None of the artists I follow used this page. I don't
know that anyone else did, but it gave me a guideline, and a way to focus.
Those two happy selfies were two days in a row when I felt pretty good about my
drawings.
I am not good. I may be worse in ink because there
is no erasing, but there is smudging, and not on purpose. It still felt good.
And it was hard! "Worried" and "scared"
should not have been so close together. And it functioned as word association,
because there were things I could only picture one way. "Relax" is a
stupid hair joke, and I don't like that drawing, but I could not come up with
any other simulation of "relax" that felt true for me then.
It was still good, and it got me sketching daily. Sometimes
the images felt right, and I did them! This month I am back to a pencil, and I
am drawing faces, which I hope will eventually make the mini-bible for
"Powers" more interesting.
I remember a while back thinking that I needed to
draw more, because there is a special energy that comes with it. I didn't get
to it then. Oh, here it is!
Imagine if I start getting regular about learning
bass.
Burn
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