Self doubt and cardboard

My conclusion yesterday was about not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. That is somewhat of a theme in my life right now.

In my last week of training -- which is basically taking phone calls but with trainers on standby -- I probably am doing pretty well, but when I hit a snag I am so hard on myself: Why don't I remember this!?! And yet, I have been here for less than two months, and they told us many things.

I have had it confirmed that no one has heard me sounding flustered or panicked, but it still really bothers me that I feel flustered or panicked.

I know I have grown in many ways, but I still regularly have difficulty accepting being human.

There are two other areas where I really need to pull myself together. Well, two that I can think of right now.

I will write about the other tomorrow, but today is more about my effort to bring my yard into harmony with nature.

The last time I covered this (in the appropriately named "Garden stress") I mentioned some plans for cardboard and mulch in the fall, and that if that was all I did it would be enough. Then, due to some orders of large flat things, I had two great cardboard boxes to use; I was so thrilled.

I recently read a comment about how bad the cardboard chemicals are.

I am not sure I believe it. Lots of other people use cardboard and newspapers, and it seems to be okay, but...

WHAT IF I AM MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE?

Okay, the area where I was planning to use it was not going to be for human food, but the whole point of so much of what I want to do is for there to be food for insects and birds and all the small creatures. I don't want to poison them.

I had a lot of fun this Halloween, but the thing I hated most was that I hadn't grown any pumpkins. Some of that was weather issues, and I figured out what I would have done differently, but I want to try it again and get it right.

Could thinking about "getting it right" be setting me up for disappointment? Is there such a thing as getting it right?

If your brain does similar things to you, you have my sympathies. 

 Please don't mind if I am a little distracted by what to do with this cardboard.