Songs of grief: February Daily Songs

Hey, my mother is still alive!

That's not bad news, but having a month of songs that were primarily about her and then a month of songs intended to be about grief, so whenever it happened I would be ready...

That didn't work out.

To be fair, grief songs didn't work out the way I thought either.

I love the collection of January songs and I know I will listen to that playlist again.

For February, there are some songs I really like, and some that are okay, but there is not the same level and connection. I did not create a playlist, whereas if I loved the way things fit together I definitely would have.

Part of the problem was that most sad songs are about romantic relationships. Also, if you get into songs about mothers, those can get weird pretty quickly.

I had a few songs in mind at the start. Some, like "Each Tear" and "The Greatest Love of All" were songs that I had thought about for January, but they got moved around. 

"Happy Birthday" I put on my sisters' birthday, with no disrespect to Martin Luther King Jr. It is a joyful song, even though it starts in a loss.

I felt like I didn't have enough songs, so I went looking and found this article:

https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/grief-loss/40-best-r-b-funeral-songs-saying-goodbye

I used a lot from there, many of which were new to me, but I rejected many too. 

I think that given recent revelations, Puff Daddy and "I'll Be Missing You" should fall out of favor.

I was using a lot of Marvin Gaye. Boyz II Men too, but especially Marvin Gaye.

That worked for me because I have a deep sadness over him. That's not just for his death, but also for Tammi Terrell's illness and death. I am glad to have them in here.

Still needing more songs, I remembered the time when I had songs by Black women and girls from February until late July, to see if I could find anything from there. 

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2015/07/musical-black-girls.html

That's why I know about Joan Armatrading and Abbey Lincoln and more about Minnie Riperton and Mary J. Blige.

I did find more songs, and some of them do mean a lot to me, but most of them are still not really about me or my losses. 

"Dance With My Father" is far from my experience, but I read about the writing in Stories to Tell by Richard Marx, and I found that touching. Then, as Vandross was hospitalized, the video contains various people writing a get well card to him while appearing with their fathers, or pictures of their fathers, or sometimes being the father (I love seeing Damon Wayans picking up his sons). There is a lot of love and grief in that video, for fathers and for Vandross. 

It's great when there are songs that are just right, but that just isn't always going to happen.

Sometimes you keep digging, sometimes you make do, and sometimes you may need to write your own song. 

2/1 "There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)" by Billy Ocean
2/2 “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday” by Boyz II Men
2/3 “Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart” by Alicia Keys
2/4 “I’ll Be Seeing You” by Billie Holiday
2/5 “These Three Words” by Stevie Wonder
2/6 “One Sweet Day” by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
2/7 “Walk Around Heaven” by Patti Labelle
2/8 “If Ever You’re In My Arms Again” by Peabo Bryson
2/9 “Throw It Away” by Abbey Lincoln
2/10 “God Is Love” by Marvin Gaye
2/11 “Easier” by Kandi with Faith Evans
2/12 “Missing You” by Brandy, Tamia, Gladys Knight, and Chaka Khan
2/13 “Happy Birthday” by Stevie Wonder
2/14 “More Than One Kind of Love” by Joan Armatrading
2/15 “Wholly Holy” by Marvin Gaye
2/16 “You’re All I Need To Get By” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
2/17 “Dance With My Father” by Luther Vandross
2/18 “A Song for Mama” by Boyz II Men
2/19 “A Mother’s Prayer” by K. Michelle
2/20 “Love Me Now” by John Legend
2/21 “Memory Lane” by Minnie Riperton
2/22 “Clouds” by Chaka Khan
2/23 "Jesus Love Is Like A River" by Gladys Knight
2/24 "Plant My Feet On Higher Ground" by The Davis Sisters
2/25 “Sparrow” by Emilo Sandé
2/26 “Each Tear” by Mary J. Blige feat. Jay Sean
2/27 "No Tears (In The End) by Roberta Flack
2/28 “The Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston