Language barrier

My Italian family is very direct. Everything they say is with love, and the first time you meet them they are just taking you in and getting to know you, but then after that opinions come out. There were two things I was told by multiple people: I had lost weight and my Italian was better.

With the weight, it was asking me if I had lost, and then saying my butt was smaller. Both Luciana and Olimpia said it, so it must be true. I'm not sure how I feel about elderly ladies checking out my butt, but obviously I'm relieved that it moved in the right direction.

For the language, I felt like I was doing worse, but I think I know why. What frustrated me was that my grammar was so simple. Everything that had happened was said in past perfect, and everything in the future was going plus infinitive. There were only two verbs that I could do anything more complicated with, and only because I had heard them recently. So I was feeling like I was speaking like a small child, but no, children pick up those things -- I was speaking like a first year language student.

However, I think the reason that my grammar was bugging me was that I was coming up with other words more easily, and phrasing more complex thoughts.

I like to do some preparation before I go. That has involved reading in Italian, or watching Italian movies, or doing something to get my brain into the groove. I had no time for that. I took some magazines in Italian and an old dictionary, and I would try and read a couple of articles in the morning and at night, but otherwise it was just talking, and I guess I did okay.

The real test was the last day, because I was translating for my brother and his wife, and sometimes just my brother without Mom around, so I had no backup.

I had been worried enough about switching back and forth that I did not take any English reading material, even though I was really behind in my reading. Well, I took Silent Spring, and I read it on the plane and in airports, put it away once we touched down, and did not open it back up until the trip back. I had to be focused! And there I was, going back and forth, and it went fine.

Actually, I did better than Mom, because she would forget to switch, so turn to them and speak Italian, and turn to the cousins and speak English. I think a lot of that is that I studied Italian formally. For Mom, her life was mostly Italian, and then it was mostly English. She can speak either one easily, but translating is a different process.

So that was encouraging. I want to be better, and I have some thoughts in mind for that, but for now I have successfully conversed about the legal system, boutique businesses, and Portland's Naked Bike Ride, which I actually knew all the words for. Now, if they had asked me to explain why it happens, for that I probably would have gotten stuck.

There were a few fun things that came up, so I am just going to throw those out now.

One is that there are certain phrases in every language that stick with me. The expression seems more satisfying, or there was some emotion attached where it made a stronger impression, or something like that.

For the most part I did well at speaking Italian and thinking Italian, but there was one Laotian expression that kept coming back. I can only kind of approximate the pronunciation, because it has its own alphabet and it's tonal, but it's "Eem leow!" And it means "I'm already full."

I know the Italian expression for it: "Gia aposto!" I could usually manage to say it, but first I would think it in Lao, because going back to a time when people were always trying to make you eat, and sure that you had not had enough, and really wanted you to eat more, I have just said that a lot more in Lao. And still the issue is not really language insufficiency, but they are just not going to believe you, or they don't want to believe you, but seriously, I've had enough! Really!

There weren't even any of the really big family meals like on other trips, but it still comes up. Sometimes you can get away with it, sometimes you can't. I thought I had successfully deflected several offers from my aunt one night, and suddenly she brought me crackers with marmalade. I'm not a fan of marmalade, and I don't think I would put it on saltine crackers anyway (though I have a certain fondness for jam on crackers from MREs back when my father was in the National Guard), but I ate them, because that's what you do.

That happened not at a meal, but when we were watching television and she was just worried I had not eaten enough. I think part of the problem was that the show wasn't very interesting, so it was not making enough of a distraction. She will cheer or yell. I remember her going "Bravo Walker" once for Chuck Norris, but we didn't really see any American shows this time. The news always paid off though, and I learned one new word, "Schifo!"

Every time Berlusconi was mentioned, or there was a picture shown, "Schifo!" I don't remember her hating him so much last time, but he has done a lot since then. I remembered that one of my cousins, Gianluigi, really liked him though, and I wondered if he had been disenchanted.

Well, he hasn't been, but he also thinks that one day we will all realize that Bush was a great president, and he specified that he meant W, not the father, so you may want to keep that in mind. The point is, I know because I asked, and my aunt was in the kitchen, so I was hoping she would not hear, but she came out. "Schifo!" And they were off.

Actually, that conversation, and another she had with Carlo about the missing luggage, showed me that I really am only half-Italian. Sure, I talk with my hands, and I was painfully aware of it at this conference that I will be writing about next week, because both times I asked a question, it was like I was kneading dough in the air. I see it, and know it is ridiculous, and I can't stop. But I am nothing compared to them.

They talk with their entire bodies! It is amazing to behold. This is one reason I can't really do phone conversations in Italian (I had a short call with Valeria). If I can't see their gestures, or make my own, how are we going to understand each other? And we were talking about that with Carlo, and he pointed out that also,  you only have one hand on the phone, and then he made a gesture to indicate unless you have a headset. And he is right.

I guess phone skills would be one thing to work on, but they said next time they want to get me speaking dialect. We'll see.