Possibly
what I should really do is write something about the concept of shaming in
general, because there are some frequent similarities, regardless of what is
being attacked. It will probably happen sooner or later.
Today,
though, I am going to focus on something that happened around Christmas. I
posted the following article on Facebook:
Honestly, I
did not think it was a particularly controversial piece, but it started off a
pretty lengthy discussion about the family's options. Well, that may give the
wrong impression.
First of
all, let me say that I have decided that I am not going to delete anyone for
being ignorant and heartless. If they are willing to be exposed to my posts, I
am not going to terminate just because I find their political beliefs
repugnant.
The
discussion happened because he thought it was the family's own fault. They had
accepted low-paying jobs. They should have known better.
One of the
more interesting side notes is that he was saying that with the father having
gotten welding certification there were fly-in jobs he could take where he
could probably still come home on the weekends and there was no excuse.
However, another friend, who is familiar with some similar programs pointed out
that some of the family stress and safety concerns with that, as well as that
for a family already in financial distress, relocating to try and get a job he
had just finished his training on, therefore being completely inexperienced,
had some potential difficulties.
(Quimby
does not need a no-deleting policy.)
On the
original article you do have some suggestions that it was a waste for him to
study welding. They may have a point, but it's the wrong point. I remember
spending two weeks in class, and bus fare, and then a lot of time going in
studying and testing, to ultimately only get paid for a few hours of work doing
tax preparation. I also remember getting a one-day job that required clothes I
didn't own, so I think I spent $30 to make $60, and I missed a friend's
mother's funeral for that. Sometimes you may be too desperate to do the best
job of evaluating an opportunity.
I think one
really important point out of this is that there are not a lot of great
opportunities. If it takes capital that you don't have, for relocating or
start-up costs, it is not a great opportunity for you. A lot of these chances
to better yourself involve risks that someone living that close to the line
can't take. If you've got a buffer, great. If you've built up this buffer
because of your amazing hard work and frugality, good for you. Not everyone
gets the same chances.
Actually, I
have heard the line about choosing to take a low-paying job recently.
If they
choose to take a low-paying job; try finding a high-paying job! There is no
motivation for companies to pay decent wages when they can legally get away
with paying the minimum, messing around with hours so that the employees are
not considered full-time, and other labor abuses.
It used to
be that people had this image of lazy people lying around collecting paychecks
and living in the lap of luxury. That was based on a myth. There was a welfare
queen, but she had her hands in all kinds of pots, and she worked really hard
for it. Still, welfare reform happened, and the qualifications became more
stringent. More people had to work.
The family
in my original article is working, and they are not easy or pleasant jobs, and
it is still not enough. Well, they chose a bad job. He's trying to learn how to
do more. Well, he picked a bad field.
One of the
more fascinating things about that thread is that everyone who commented was
someone whom I knew through church. There should be some compassion there, but
for some people all they can see is blame.
I wonder
sometimes if it feels like a kind of talisman - if I can identify a way in
which all of your problems are your own fault, then clearly it is not something
that could ever happen to me. I worry about the reaction when the magical
thinking runs out.
We have a
world that breaks people. It is not only via the economy, but that one hits
hard. Over and over again, you have people working against their own
self-interests, and the interests of society, and the interests of human
decency, and apparently the way they can do it is feeling comfortable looking
down on someone else.
That's
where I have the hardest time. It infuriates me, and that's not great for my
own compassion. But that's why I don't delete him, or others like him. They
have good points with their flaws. They're still human, and I can't stop seeing
that. (But I may still blog mean things about them, and I did finally tell that
one how condescending he was after he offered to let me shadow his job so I
could see how I was wrong.)
Anyway, it
may be some of the frustration over this, and things like it, that leads to me
bringing back the celebrity hate extravaganza Monday, but then I will write two
very sweet and touching things, and this is how I get by.
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