One of my to-do items is almost done.
In January I started posting pictures on Twitter and
Facebook for Throwback Thursday. The goal was to do 43, one for each year of my
life. This Thursday will be the 43rd.
It has been important for multiple reasons. There
has been reviewing my past and seeing whom I have been and how I have gotten
here. There was getting used to seeing myself physically and looking at myself
physically when I had avoided it for so long. There was seeing that other
people don't hate my pictures nearly as much as I do.
That has been about perspective, but it has come in
other ways too. The picture I really hate is from when I was unemployed, and
that was an unhappy time in many ways, but then there were a lot of pictures
from that year where I was doing thing with friends. Having more time, I was
able to connect more, and that wasn't miserable. I had already remembered that
it was a very creative period, but it was a connected period too.
I am mostly sure that the Thursday picture will be
selfie that I took with a goat about a year ago. That is partly as a bridge to
the next project, but also, a lot of the more recent pictures have been posted
already.
That's something that has changed. I have been
making an effort to get more pictures taken, and I have been posting them more.
This has not killed me, but don't be too impressed with the transformation. My
current Facebook profile picture is painful for me.
Most of the photos have been my upper body, which is
fat, but I have been getting used to that. This current picture shows my legs,
and I have not gotten used to those. They're bad, but I saw that they were bad
and still left the picture up.
The reason it went up in the first place is that I
needed to replace the Halloween shot. It's a picture of me with Cookie Monster,
and since the songs of the day are Muppet-themed this month it made sense. I
took a picture in a Santa hat for December, though really only the white trim
shows, so it may not be obvious it's a Santa hat.
I have been updating my profile picture more as part
of this. I don't know that I will keep changing it monthly, but it's something
I can do to keep the knowledge and the acceptance and the conquering of my body
issues going until I can start the next thing: taking a selfie each day for a
year.
My camera broke in September. It wasn't going to be
ideal for selfies anyway, which seem to be more of a cell phone thing, but it
at least would have been a possibility. I have been borrowing my sister's
camera for these other shots, but I'm not going to borrow it once a day for a
year.
So I don't know when that will get started. I know
now that for it to be fully effective, I should probably make sure to get the
lower body in on a regular basis.
I also know that once I start posting selfies daily
some people will think I'm a narcissist. Well, maybe, but not because of that.
Thinking in terms of the 365 feminist selfie
project, I'll be starting it about two years late. That feels pretty typical for
me, but it's okay. I will get where I'm going, and I hope I'll bring others
along with me.
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