Homeless and hungry

No, not me. Foreclosure proceedings are halted for now.

If you are noticing how late the blog posts are going up, you might guess that things are kind of overwhelming now. Maybe that has made it easier to post about things that are overwhelming. If yesterday was about not being able to help enough cats, I am also not able to help enough people.

When I was coming back from the Ataris' concert, I caught the train at a stop where a lot of homeless people sleep. One man was coughing. About as soon as I wished that I could give him a cough drop, I remembered that I actually had one and gave it to him.

It felt very inadequate, though he did thank me.

I remembered that I was going to be down in that area for two more days the following week, and thought I should bring sandwiches. Both days I made three sandwiches and offered them to people who were around.

The first day I gave them all to the same person, who asked my name so he could pray for me.

The second day they went to different people. Maybe I should have given them all to the first woman, because she said she was starving. I had seen another person from the train, and that's why I took the other two sandwiches over there, but the way she said she was starving stayed with me. It's because it was so dead, like it wasn't something desperate anymore, but just accepted.

On both days, I walked away wanting to cry.

See, you think it's supposed to give you a good feeling. It's not that there are feelings of guilt or shame or anything like that, but there is such a sense of inadequacy and futility. But no! It's like throwing starfish back into the sea; it made a difference to that one! Yes, but I can't stop being helplessly aware of all the other dying starfish.

Today I saw a commercial for Shriner's Children's Hospital right after a commercial for Wounded Warriors, both wanting monthly donations. Sick kids or veterans? Better yet, I have seen similar commercials for St. Jude's Children's Hospital - sick kids versus sick kids would probably be more fair.

My point is just that this system doesn't work. I have said that before. I will say it again. I will add details. But on the most basic level, this doesn't work.