Back up!

I yelled at someone Saturday.

As I was heading from the theater to Fred Meyer, I had to cross TV Highway. It is a pretty busy road with some pretty long lights. I was waiting for my signal when the previous direction's turn signal ended with a woman in a large vehicle (a Blazer, probably) blocking the entire crosswalk.

I had some time to observe and feel irritated while the traffic continuing on the highway went through.

It is pretty common for cars to be partway in the crosswalk. I don't like that, and I think about things like hitting their hood or something, but I don't really do anything because that would be escalating and that is not my general way.

In this case, there was not going to be any safe way to get past her. Going in front of her would be out in traffic, but going behind her would also be in traffic and not easily visible, and crawling underneath would be the most dangerous of all. If her doors were unlocked, going through the back seat might be an option (I think that happened in a Mentos commercial), but really, she had not left me any safe way across.

She had plenty of space to back up. The length of the signals actually did lead the car behind her to start creeping into that space, but then they backed up again. Perhaps that driver noticed me. Perhaps they noticed me glaring, I can't say. As it was, while that was better for safety purposes, the driver behind her had no impact on the driver blocking the crosswalk.

I really wanted to yell something at her like "Get back, you moron!", or maybe "you idiot" - something to indicate my lack of admiration - but mainly I was hoping she would do the right thing. No dice.

Then the light changed and I had my signal. I also noticed that her window was down a crack, meaning she should be able to hear me.

I barked out my order: "Back up!"

She gave me a look of surprise and annoyance (mostly annoyance), but she backed up. In fact, there is no way that she was as annoyed me with as I was with her.

When I wrote earlier that I effectively yelled at someone, I didn't mean that in effect I did so; I meant that it was effective. It worked.

I realized I had not added an epithet, and thought that was probably for the best. I don't actually think her problem was a lack of intelligence so much as an issue of self-absorption anyway.

You are forgiven for thinking I am over-analyzing this, and I may be, but I saw her face - that there was annoyance at having to move and no contrition. There were teens waiting at a bus stop snicking, and I heard them. I know my shout was ugly and unfeminine, and I am fat, poor, aging, and sans vehicle. I know there are a lot of vectors on which I don't count, and anything drawing attention to that is subject to being looked down on.

That is a rotten system. The least I can do is buck it.

My other option seemed to be waiting through another full cycle of the signal, which would not only be a pain, but what if you get some other road hog? (Seriously, drivers, crosswalks exist for a reason.) I have a voice. I can sometimes make it loud.

Maybe I'm still mad that I didn't punch that guy in the nuts at the Alkaline Trio concert. (I still think I was right to not do more, but that doesn't mean it feels good.)

Maybe having just watched back to back superhero movies was a factor.

I just know it would have been easy to be quiet, and it felt good being loud.

The standard response to me asserting myself (with rude people) is that they get surprised and annoyed.

The least I can do is make it less surprising.