In many ways it was like March, the month of book selfies. Mainly, it started to feel tedious long before it was over, but also I did start thinking about content more, and I found ways to have fun with it.
It also showed me how much the theme makes me more aware, because on June 1st, freedom from that constraint meant not taking any photos and then remembering after I was already getting ready for bed.
(And May and March were specifically chosen as months with 31 days so I really had to commit.)
May was also more profound than March, because I was going up against taboo. There are no secrets about me reading a lot, or that including children's books and non-fiction and all sorts of things. There can be some serious stigma for a fat woman admitting that she eats.
I mean, surely it could be figured out, but still, it feels like I am not supposed to admit it. Perhaps I should be ashamed.
I may have even thought of it as a chance to show that I do not exclusively eat "bad" foods. I do try and create nutritious and balanced meals (though money and stress haven't been doing me any favors lately).
Like any series of selfies, at first there was hesitation and then it ended up being just that this is me. Take me or leave me.
Sometimes I look better, other times worse, but that is all my life and I don't owe attractiveness to anyone. I do some things well; others not so much.
And sometimes I am in a rut, but there is still variety and I try to get the pictures to show it.
This is a hard year, with I suspect some really hard things coming up, and it was a concern; do I want to take a picture when things are absolutely terrible? No, but the purpose of this isn't about wanting to take pictures.
Looking ahead to what might really hurt, I have decided that I might take pictures daily but wait a week to catch up on posting them. As minor as it is, it feels better to have a plan for how to deal with that.
Regardless, it is all just me, and I can live with her.
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