I can't even...

That title should probably be for an angrier or at least more astounded post. It's not, but saying "I can't" does give me some serious consternation, and I can't.

When I was planning on re-doing Black History month, of course that was going to include reviewing more Black artists. I easily had enough artists that I have been wanting to get to.

If you have been keeping track, you know that my posting is getting more irregular. The band reviews have been slightly more regular, but still falling behind. There were three more artists that I intended to do in May and there just wasn't time, for listening or for writing it up. Frankly, I have not been happy with the writing quality of my recent posts either.

At this point, the best I can do musically is come up with daily songs.

It is also not surprising for anyone that I am behind in reading, and that before really starting my Black History month reading I am still working on nine more books about gender and violence, four more on Native American Heritage, six on education that will be an important addition to the themes of this recent Native American Heritage reading, plus five more books on death and grief, and about twenty-three books for Asian-American and Pacific Islander heritage. And although I am not trying to finish my post-election reading before any of them because that is its whole own thing, it did feel very important to get to the Nazi segment because when I think people are saying the same things Hitler said I want to be sure, but that involves two long and factually dense books and two terrible books written by Hitler and it is not going fast!

(So sometimes when I am frustrated at how slowly I progress, I should probably stop and remember that I am overly ambitious.)


When it took me too long to get to my 2014 Native American Heritage reading, I ending up deferring on the books, and watching a bunch of documentaries:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2015/09/native-american-heritage-month-2014.html

I am doing something similar here. Instead of trying to read any of the slated books, I am going to be watching several movies by Black directors, and catch up on some other media.

If I am not writing music reviews, maybe I can get to writing about some of these books that I have read, or that I am going through now. For one thing, I had read some of the slated books. For my children's literature I wanted to focus on the illustrations of Sean Qualls and I am currently on the last of those selections. It has not gone the way I intended, but what ever does?

I have also read one of the poetry books I had planned on, and maybe some other poetry will sneak in over this next month. That could be okay.

But always there is that frustration: I feel like I should be able to do more, and do it faster. I really hate that I can't.

Except I am learning more all of the time, and understanding more. I have better answers for complex questions when I get asked.

(So sometimes when I am frustrated at how slowly I progress, I should probably stop and remember what I have done, not just what remains undone.)

Anyway, I hope there will be posts about books and illustrations and movies.

I hope.