Grace notes

I've had two nice things happen recently.

For starters, I got to order Chipotle.

One of the things that I am not proud of -- back when I was caring for our mother full-time -- is that sometimes the thought of having to come up with what to make for dinner and then do it one more time would bring me to tears.

A big part of that is an executive function overload, which is why planning meals out several days in advance can help. Sometimes, though, you just need a break.

Working again and starting to catch up, I had started periodically ordering in, about once a month. I would order multiple things to make the delivery fee less outrageous and so I would have leftovers, but it allowed me to try different things and get that break.

Once the garnishment started, I couldn't justify it. Even if the money were there so it were technically possible, there were always more important things. 

I just really wanted Chipotle. Especially the chips and salsa. I haven't ordered in since August, before this all started.

It was embarrassing how much I wanted it. It's not like I am not ever eating or getting things that I like or going out. It was one specific thing that I was not getting, but also it was representing that I can't just do whatever I want, and I used to have more freedom in that way.

When Julie paid her rent, she gave me an extra $40 so I could do that. 

I still wasn't going to order, because there are so many places to put that money. I did anyway, because she wanted that for me, and it was good.  

I think I can go another three months now.

In addition, I have recently had two people reach out to me.

I have been reaching out more myself, but these were both from when I was kind of adopting depressed teenage girls. That is such a bad way of describing it, but there's not an efficient explanation that is not overly complicated.

Back in 2013 somehow I was finding hurting young women through Twitter, and just trying to be encouraging and supportive, and help. That's been enough time for most of them to be adults and have jobs, maybe have finished school, and most of them are long past those crises. The two who reached out aren't even on Twitter anymore.

They still remembered me and thought of me. 

Sometimes you are just in someone's life for a while, and that can be perfectly fine. 

Sometimes it is good to hear back.