Enforced socialization

Yesterday I found making comprehensive statements about internet usage difficult because there is so much variation among analog humans and their digital tools. That can continue today.

Contrasting what happens online to "in real life" feels disrespectful of how meaningful some things that happen through the internet can be. That being said, physical proximity is important. Fresh air is important. Conversations that get too deep to tag with LOL are important. Also, there is something to be said for waiting and anticipation versus constant immediate gratification.

Facebook is great for casual keeping up. I like seeing that the children of people I know are doing well in school or that they have cute pets. It is gratifying to see that they like what I am doing. Status updates and reactions (because now you can do more than just "like") matter, but they are still somewhat shallow. (Plus that algorithm can mean that you start only seeing the same few people, plus ads.)

However, it can be very helpful for arranging contact. Of the last few times I have gone out, most were not set up through Facebook, with occasional phone or e-mail arrangements. Those exchanges are fun, but then the conversations that we have while out are much more satisfying. I mention this because I am at a place in my life right now where I both really need that and am unlikely to arrange it.

Not being employed is scary. Focusing on my writing is somewhat exciting, but there is also anxiety around it, and whether it will work, and how quickly the time is passing by. Combine that with worrying about my mother, and wanting to give time to her, and thinking about what I need to be in a position to help her, well, there's some stress there.

That stress makes it important to not stay holed up with my fears and my responsibilities, but to get out of the house. It also means that time is at a premium, and I get tired more than I would prefer. All of the literature on similar situations stresses the importance of self-care and socialization. It's completely logical, but it would be really easy to skip.

Faced with this sort of conundrum, my tendency is to make a list. There is one of those old big calendar sheets that I love so much on my desk. (It's for September 2015, actually, because I got it in January, but it was a 16 month calendar.)

There are eight categories of things I need to do, with lists below them, but one of the lists is "People", and there are people I need to remember to see or write to.

I'm not moving through them that quickly, but it's something. And it's something that I love doing, but that I have to force myself to do. We're strange creatures, humans, but that can be worked with.

If you want to get on the list, let me know.