Monday, February 03, 2020

Legacies

I'm sure there would have been an outpouring of grief anyway, but the sudden shock of Kobe Bryant's death may have made the grief hit harder. There were many tributes paid, and reminders that he wasn't the only person on the flight, and also reminders that he was a rapist.

We get a certain amount of stock responses any time death is paired with fame. Some people share stories, and others bring up the simultaneous deaths of non-famous people to make those mourning feel bad for only caring about famous people. Some people bring up things that were bad about them, and others post quotes about not celebrating the death of anyone, or that this isn't the time, though I suspect for the original posters a concern is that if it doesn't happen then, when will it?

I sort of went over a lot of this when Paul Walker died, so I wouldn't really get into this, except that I can't help but be aware of two issues and both have political ramifications.

Perhaps I should get it out of the way first that I haven't followed sports closely for many years, and I don't remember rape allegations. I do remember something about Bryant cheating on his wife, and I hope that's not how rape was spun, but that has happened before.

(And some apologies for apparently being most inspired by those I am not deeply invested in. Maybe it's the emotional distance allowing me to overanalyze.)

Anyway, the first general issue is that people seem to be having a harder time giving anyone they don't like credit for anything at all; people are heroes or villains and the people who disagree with you on who gets which labels have to be shouted down. (I might have one candidate and followers more in mind than others, but it is not limited to them.)

Putting rape to the side for one moment -- and only for one moment -- Kobe Bryant was a good player, and not always a good teammate, but a supportive friend and an attentive father, even though he was not a completely loyal husband, and creative and philanthropic, though philanthropy distracts from the inherent problems of capitalism. That's just from things that people have been saying after losing him. Does the good mean that the bad didn't matter, especially if it's in the past? Does the bad mean he should not get any credit for the good? Does it even make sense to look at human beings that way?

(Which is probably part of the allure of dehumanizing the people you don't like politically.)

Now, what if that bad includes a crime?

Here's the first thing I am going to say; I believe he did it. If there was another woman who experienced the same thing, but backed down when she was harassed, and the initial woman bringing accusations got a settlement... realistically there are probably even more women, and I can't blame them for not coming forward.

Does being a rapist undo him being a good father?

There is a lot that can be unpacked about a system where some people deserve good treatment, but it is not required for others, and the double standard and rape culture. I am not getting into that now.

However, if we brush things aside when famous people are alive, then it can't be a surprise if there is still something to talk about when they die. I think it would be better to talk about it when they are alive. Give people a chance to change and grow.

Not everyone is going to want personal change and growth, but so many of these personal wrongdoings reflect a larger wrong in society. If we keep pushing hard topics aside because he is a good player (or actor or is holding elected office) or she took the money (or the prosecutor didn't think there was a strong case or he had a promising future), it perpetuates all of it. It is true for everything, but yes, more rapists, and more people being raped.

That might sound more social or cultural, but there are political ramifications too.

I intend to write more about that tomorrow.

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