Rays of hope (featuring more books)

Two weeks ago I wrote about reading books about death. That also led to reading about books that had to do more with emotional healing. There were many related books about dementia too, but that is mostly a different post.

There is one connection, in that sometimes as my mother's mind gets stuck in different times and places and modes of thought, I see traces of past hurts and fears.

We hear stories from other people, and we know that she could be much worse, but she was generally a pretty easy-going, good-humored person, and that carries through. Some of the bumpy spots are pretty universal, but they aren't random either.

When I sought out information about healing and wholeness, I suppose it was initially so that I could be able to handle everything; that my weak spots could quit dragging me down. It's not that I would have been against anyone else being emotionally healthy, but I have seen more benefits, and more potential and am taking a broader view now.

One of the earlier books that impressed me the most was My Grandfather's Blessings: Stories of Strength, Refuge, and Belonging by Rachel Naomi Remen. There were stories that cut deeply - I will probably blog about those some day - but mainly there were many different examples of healing and grace, so it was a deeply positive and inspiring book.

More recently there have been three that I am thinking of together.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel A. van der Kolk

One of the most impressive parts of this for me was understanding why EMDR did not work for one person. It could be great for others; it was the wrong direction for her and that was completely logical after learning more about it. That contains a key part of the conclusion that I am getting to, so hold that thought.

Otherwise, there was a lot in here on different methods and the success they have had, and it was encouraging. I committed to re-read it, and that is one more of those things I need to get to.

Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain by James W. Pennebaker and Joshua M. Smyth

This is probably not the best book on expressive writing, but it was the one that the local library system had. Most of my personal healing work comes through more analytical writing, which is different. Expressive writing can be faster, and not require so much boning up beforehand, and because it can be completely private has benefits for people who can't afford professional help, or feel awkward about working with someone else. It can be a good tool.

The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma by James S. Gordon

I haven't actually read this one yet (I have checked it out) but I did hear Dr. Gordon speak at Powell's Books recently. A few things really impressed me.

He started us off with a deep breathing exercise (it was a small group, which may have helped), and then asked us about any changes during it. He gave some background on the universality of mindfulness exercises, but also pointed out that with a simple thing you can make a change. It may be small, but for people who feel hopeless for any change, that can be huge.

Also, the excerpt he read about a young girl from Palestine who lost relatives, and her progress, was remarkably hopeful. His organization works with people in terrible circumstances, but he also takes a very broad view of trauma and stress; everyone experiences it in some way. It is easy to minimize what seems like our more usual wear and tear, because we all know some people who have it worse. That doesn't mean that we don't have wounds, or that they don't affect us, or that we wouldn't do better with some healing.

I look forward to reading the book, and I hope to take some training this summer (a lot would have to happen for that to work out, but I hope). Beyond that, probably reading the books fairly close together is a factor, but it reminds me that there are a lot of options for healing. Not everything will work for everyone, but maybe there are enough different options that there is something for everyone.

There is still a lot to work on with accessibility of care, and reducing the frequency of extreme trauma (we could do a lot there) but it is ultimately encouraging to know that there is room for hope.

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/01/a-year-or-so-of-magical-reading.html