Ups and downs and arounds

I recently got my first paycheck for caring for my mother.

The way things appear to be going, the house payment will take all of that, and all I can hope is that it won't mess up my insurance. For now, though, I had a little extra money and I was able to finally order a new pair of shoes, and get a Tri-met Hop card, and take care of little things that have been needed and overdue.

There has been a sense of euphoria with it; it is going on four years since my last paycheck. The euphoria is tempered by knowing that having this extra is temporary, and that my financial situation is still pretty bad.

It is also tempered by a realization that it is sad that being able to get something I need is triggering such a rush. It is good to appreciate the little things, but it shouldn't be this hard for anyone to get by.

The shoes are a big deal. I have plantar fasciitis so when that isn't supported, that involves a lot of pain. My old pair of shoes did support it, but they have been worn down past the point of support for several months now.

I had a conversation a couple of years ago about disability that was kind of theoretical, but kind of not. A woman had been taking a class, and after one lecture she approached her professor because she was not sure if her nearsightedness made her disabled or not.

That led to some interesting discussion, for her with her professor then, for us later, about how that lack of clear definition affects things, and about the fluidity of disability. Here is the concrete thing for me though: I am missing out on a lot if I don't have my glasses. Regarding that fluidity, I used to only need glasses for things at a distance, and now I have issues with small print as well. That is something aging does. Regardless, in terms of my ability to participate in things, and appreciate what is around me, and know what is going on in my surroundings, glasses are really important.

They are also expensive, and insurance coverage for them is generally not great. Like maybe insurance will cover $250, but the out of pocket cost can easily get close to that. Do we think people being able to participate is important?

Dental coverage is similar. It is not automatically covered, but it is more crucial to health than vision. Problems that start in your teeth can easily move into your bloodstream and affect other things. In addition there is a social participation factor, because there is a big stigma on missing or discolored teeth, and people are judged based on that.

Anyway, I don't intend for this to be a lengthy post, but tomorrow I want to write about a movie I saw, and this post is a lead-in.

First, we should think about what we want people to have, and how hard things should be.

And second, it should be understood that I get emotional.